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Lincøln
Level 8: 5802 points
Alltime Score: 20858 points
Last Logged In: March 6th, 2017
BADGE: Senator BADGE: INTERREX BADGE: Journey To The End Of The Night Organizer TEAM: Societal Laboratorium TEAM: The Disorganised Guerilla War On Boredom and Normality TEAM: El Lay Zero TEAM: Group Creation Public Badge TEAM: Team Shplank TEAM: The Ezra Buckley Foundation TEAM: SFØ Société Photographique TEAM: SCIENCE! TEAM: SFØ Podcast TEAM: The Ultimate Collaboration Team TEAM: Synaesthetics TEAM: LØVE TEAM: Level Zerø TEAM: Public Library Zero TEAM: SF0 Skypeness! TEAM: INFØ TEAM: AustinZero TEAM: BRCØ TEAM: The Sutro Tower Health and Safety Task Force Justice TEAM: Whimsy TEAM: The Cold War Reenactment Society TEAM: Robots Are Taking Over! TEAM: Team MØXIE! TEAM: Bike TEAM: The Bureau of Introductory Affairs TEAM: SSF0R (Sphores) TEAM: SFØ Academy BART Psychogeographical Association Rank 8: Psychogeographer EquivalenZ Rank 3: Protocologist The University of Aesthematics Rank 7: Professor Humanitarian Crisis Rank 1: Peacekeeper Biome Rank 3: Field Researcher Chrononautic Exxon Rank 2: Futurist Society For Nihilistic Intent And Disruptive Efforts Rank 6: Deconstroyer
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25 + 225 points

24 Carrot by Lincøln

December 23rd, 2007 6:11 PM

INSTRUCTIONS: Wear a carrot (or other vegetable) as jewelry for a day.

First let me say that I love this task. I love it when this task gets done. I especially enjoyed JJason's completion. But I wanted to crazy go nuts. I wanted to really go for it. And to some extent, I did. To some extent I failed. You be the judge.

That was the real beginning of this task for me, reading about it and imagining it. But the real first part was when I got an email from SPAR asking me to join in a new group. I read the idea behind the group, and I loved it. I love my group, The University of Aesthematics. But this new group promised that I could do UofA tasks all day with no limit to group restrictions. I see no reason why I couldn't Climb a Bridge in the manner befitting the UofA, or create Spam Poetry according to the rules of the UofA, or Confess to something in a truly Aesthematic way. So I decided to do a Biome task in a way befitting a student of The University of Aesthematics.

So this task completion is for the



Multilateral Task Exchange





(it is also for my anti-revolution and defense of the UofA)


OK, so I wrote to Stu mostly because I think she's a terrific tasker and a wonderful person and so I asked to use a task from her group. She happily agreed and I thank her for her help.

And if you hit play here, this makes fine task reading music:
You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

So now with task in hand, I set out to complete it in an epic fashion. I knew what I needed, and I needed supplies.

Carrots for sale

So I bought 30 pounds of carrots (less than $20 thanks to my club card). That's 132 carrots.

First I decided to make some pants. I made the waistband first. I threaded a piece of bailing wire through the carrots to make my waistband.

The beginning

It worked very well, but it wasn't enough.

First layer

I obviously needed another layer of carrots to cover up with.

I made the second layer, which was much much tougher to thread because I had to incorporate it into the first layer. Not easy. Plus I had never worked with carrots before. But I think I did alright for a first effort.

Second layer in progress

Once I had the second layer finished, I was amazed by how many carrots I had already used, and since I had to sew the second layer on while I was wearing it, to ensure a good fit and good coverage, I learned that it wasn't going to move too fluidly. So I gave up on making pants, and instead made a kilt. Not a utilikilt, because it wasn't very useful or comfortable at all.

I secured it to my body by tying the loose ends of bailing wire at my side.
My makeshift clasps

But I soon found out after taking pictures of the two layer kilt, that two layers wasn't going to cut it if I was to wear it for a day.
Second layer
Second layer

Mostly because I'm a wimp and didn't want to be thrown in jail. I'm not afraid of getting arrested in the name of good tasking, and I'm for nudity, especially public nudity as I believe is well documented, but I would hate to wind up in jail only wearing this carrot kilt, so I decided to add a third layer for a bit more coverage.
Three layers
Three layers

Perfect. So then I start work on the chest piece. I decide to make a chest piece, because I don't have nearly enough carrots for a jacket like I had hoped to make. But I think a Native American style chest piece will work just fine, and I plan out all of the steps before I start wiring it together.
My chest piece layout

I try on the neck supports to see if they fit.
The neck straps

They do!

So I secure the chest piece to the carrot straps.
Chest piece working with straps

Now that it's built, I try it on. I wear it for the rest of the night, even though it's uncomfortable. Tomorrow I'm gonna take it out for a spin.

So, when I wake up, I put it on, and do the shit I need to do in the day. When it's time for me to go out and run my errands, I encounter a problem, I can't really sit on it, or it breaks. So driving with it on isn't very practical. So I take it off to drive and put it in the back of the truck.
The carrotkilt and chest piece in the back of the truck

This idea is good except that all I really want is to wear carrots and nothing else, I have to drive in the nude. Which is fine with me (I had some stunt pants in the back seat in case I was pulled over or something), but the hard part was getting where I was going and having to get out of the truck to put on my carrotkilt. Which I had to do naked. Which sucked. And I only did it once when I went to the bank. I parked in a well hidden corner of the parking lot, and went to the ATM. And I didn't take pictures because I didn't want to also carry a camera as I had to carry my keys and wallet already. I didn't know how to make carrot pockets. I did take one picture of me naked going for the carrotkilt in the parking lot. You can see me naked in the reflection I think.
Naked in the parking lot.

I also wear it much less than I think I will. As night falls, I put a jacket on for a little bit.
Carrot suit

But it is very very cold here in L.A. for some strange reason. It was far too cold to wear the carrots through the night, so again I take it off to sleep.
Not very warm

When I awake, I wait a bit for it to warm up, and then don the garment again, it has gotten a bit discolored, and the carrots are no longer stiff, the carrots have shrunk considerably, and it is no longer safe to wear out in public. So after my cumulative 24 hours are up, I decide to feed myself to some bunnies.
I put my pecker on the line for you SFØ!



***Update***





December 27, 2007
This is what was left of the carrotkilt after I fed it to the bunnies for four days.
After the bunnies had their way with me.

+ larger

Carrot suit
Carrots for sale
The beginning
First layer
Second layer in progress
My makeshift clasps
Second layer
Second layer
Three layers
Three layers
Carrotkilt in fine working order.
Me funny
My chest piece layout
The neck straps
Chest piece working with straps
Carrot suit complete!
The carrotkilt and chest piece in the back of the truck
Naked in the parking lot.
Not very warm
Here come the bunnies!
More bunnies!
I put my pecker on the line for you SFØ!
After the bunnies had their way with me.

45 vote(s)


Favorite of:


Terms

casyj, shplank

24 comment(s)

(no subject)
posted by rongo rongo on December 23rd, 2007 6:28 PM

Ravished by rabbits! You are the most amazingest.
I can't believe you walked around under 30 pounds of carrots. Did anyone comments on it as you went about your business?

(no subject)
posted by rongo rongo on December 23rd, 2007 6:30 PM

Oh, and I also wanted to comment that since carrots are a rather phallic vegetable, covering your naked body with them is like some kind of nakedness amplification rather than clothing.

(no subject)
posted by Lincøln on December 23rd, 2007 6:32 PM

Nobody commented when they saw me. Most averted their eyes.

I should have brought a documentarian with me on my journeys, and I did ask a few people, but nobody took me up on the offer.

You're right, too, they are rather phallic. I didn't think of that until I tried the carrotkilt on for the first time.

(no subject)
posted by JJason Recognition on December 23rd, 2007 6:34 PM

That was intense.

Band togethor to overturn THE BIG RED X
posted by Blue on December 23rd, 2007 6:46 PM

Help us fight the Big Red X

Support your local…
Multilateral Task Exchange

Lincoln that is quite epic. I now understand the delay.

(no subject)
posted by anna one on December 23rd, 2007 6:50 PM

Dude.
Wow.

(no subject)
posted by Burn Unit on December 23rd, 2007 6:53 PM

I like how the high temp was 64, the low 43, and yet.... it was 39 degrees.

Fuck the iPhone. Fuck Steve Jobs. Asshole that he is.

You get votes for this:

main_carrots34274.jpg

VERY stylish with the blazer.

MTE
posted by Lincøln on December 23rd, 2007 6:54 PM

I would strongly suggest that SSI unflag our Trajectory of Desire:

Multilateral Task Exchange


As we can all see it's a valid group, at least as valid as LEWL and S.N.I.D.E. If this proof isn't enough, I would be happy to debate the point over on the task's page. I think it's a good idea, I would suggest some restriction to the bylaws, that maybe one task from every task MUST be done before you can do two from another group. Anyways. I support

Multilateral Task Exchange


(no subject)
posted by The Revolutionary on December 23rd, 2007 7:57 PM

Unflag the Multilateral Task Exchange!

Give these players some multicolored roses!

SSI? not exactly...
posted by Vizzini Siciliano on December 23rd, 2007 8:03 PM

whatever you think, it's the daemon that does it...

Nudity and carrots!
posted by Charlie Fish on December 24th, 2007 2:50 AM

This deserves all the votes in the world.

All the votes in the world and beyond.
posted by Jellybean of Thark on December 24th, 2007 3:02 AM

I send a vote from Barsoom.

Still, you said you needed a documentarian to document, and you didn't ask one of the most prolific photographic documentarians you know? Dude.

(no subject)
posted by Lincøln on December 24th, 2007 9:42 AM

I asked people who aren't already sucked into this life we lead friend. I wanted to get more players here in our neck of the woods. Y'know?

(no subject)
posted by lara black on December 24th, 2007 2:42 PM

wow!!! wow.

wow :)

(no subject)
posted by Burn Unit on December 25th, 2007 9:34 AM

more. ass. pictures. everyone!

(no subject)
posted by Jellybean of Thark on December 26th, 2007 11:21 AM

Oh.

Man, our friends are lame.

(no subject)
posted by susy derkins on December 26th, 2007 1:22 PM

Sexiest trendy garment out there and the man still says I didn´t know how to make carrot pockets.. Ah, and I am here, thinking of renewing a lost art half decently!
Glorious MLTE, just ask the bunnies...

(no subject)
posted by Adam on December 29th, 2007 6:31 AM

My eyes.

Good completion, it makes up for the acidic burning feel.

SFØNaked Hall of Fame
posted by Bex. on January 3rd, 2008 12:00 PM

oh em ef gee.
This is one for the history bøøks.

heeheeheehaahaaahahaaa HA!
posted by Myrna Minx on March 4th, 2008 8:18 PM

thanks for the musical accompaniment. pure brilliance all around.

(no subject)
posted by Fonne Tayne on March 4th, 2008 8:32 PM

yah i have to say long ago i turned away from the gratuitous senatorial softcore...

but this time i'll admit that the bunnies are full of win. they're yours?

(no subject)
posted by miss understanding on March 4th, 2008 8:40 PM

You're great.

(no subject)
posted by Lincøln on March 4th, 2008 9:23 PM

No, Zemaluco, those are not my bunnies. They are borrowed bunnies.

(no subject)
posted by Blue on June 7th, 2008 8:24 PM

Oh my god… my eyes are watering I was laughing so hard!
You had to drive naked?
More proof that I never actually read anything.