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15 + 135 points

Reduction to the Body by Lincøln

January 16th, 2008 10:23 PM / Location: 34.251161,-118.3570

INSTRUCTIONS: Study your own body for at least 30 minutes straight and discover something you didn't know about before.

I spent about eight hours over three days studying my body. I really went to town. I'm pretty familiar with my body, as I've been living in it for awhile now. And I know quite a bit about it. What I found in my self exploration was that all I really knew about my body was what I could see. You see, I don't own any mirrors. And not because I'm a vampire or anything. It's just that I don't really like looking at myself. For some reason. So because I can only see certain aspects of myself, there were other aspects of myself that I have never seen or at least hadn't explored. So I used my camera as my remote view apparatus. 

And I thought I would take the term reduction out of the title seriously.

Now, I should warn you, this proof is going to get real personal. I spared you some real personal shit. Like there will be no pictures of my asshole, but I do get pretty in-depth into the places I've never explored and mostly the pictures are super close up so as to take the context away, but if you get offended by anything in here, then you're an idiot, because you should have hit the back button just now. This task is for the rest of you. I also found that I am not embarrassed by any of this. I guess I lost the part of me that feels embarrassment a long time ago. So I invite you to come along on my journey to explore the hidden parts of my body.

+ larger

Head to toe
Top of foot
Cuticle wear
Old Injury
Cut on my toe
Baby toe cut
Those same barbs
Heel crack
More heel cracks
I wide view
Another view
The inside of the heel
Those little balls
Side of my foot
Knee scar
Birth mark
Ass valley
Ass crack
Double black head
Taste buds?
Giant mole
Where leg meets pelvis
Another mole
Belly button
Happy trail
Wrist hole
Doorhenge scar
Mystery wound
Dirty work
Dirty knuckles
This is on my back.
Back of neck
Top of my head
Top again
Fresh(ish) wound
Side of forehead
Side of my head
In the ear
Inside the ear
The outskirts
Soul patch
Hole in my tooth
Bottom teeth
Top teeth
Up the nose
The nose valley
Unibrow close
Right eye
The handstand
The back stretch
The back bend
Baby pose
Vitruvian Man

27 vote(s)

Favorite of:


casyj, lewd

34 comment(s)

(no subject)
posted by The Vixen on January 16th, 2008 10:33 PM

This is great! I love your attention to great detail. Makes me want to do this task now...

But I don't know. I refused to strip naked with everyone in the hot tub; do I have what it takes to do it online? Hmm....

Wait, were you still at the party when we all migrated to the hot tub? I'd remember more clearly if I hadn't drank 6 shots of Ben's Haitian moonshine...

(no subject)
posted by Lincøln on April 26th, 2009 7:43 PM

Almost a year late, but yes, I was still in the jacuzzi when we all got naked. And Dax still has that picture. We're still waiting to see what he does with it.

(no subject)
posted by Jellybean of Thark on January 16th, 2008 10:41 PM

Hearing is exactly what them little ear hairs are for. They help you see the millions of adorable little fat people all the better.

(no subject)
posted by Lincøln on January 16th, 2008 11:13 PM

Yes, Vixen, I was there for the hot tub debauchery. I was even one of the few that did 20 jumping jacks in the middle of Oak Street without benefit of clothing. And yes, Ben's Haitian moonshine should have been treated a bit more cautiously. Especially by you.

(no subject)
posted by susy derkins on January 16th, 2008 11:30 PM

I love that bodies carry so many stories: the hole in which you could stick you finger two knuckles deep. And you let me wondering about the mysterious little balls and nobules.

(no subject)
posted by Burn Unit on January 17th, 2008 4:26 AM

lincoln's heel but I swear that looks like my ownI know you keep insisting your feet are like no one else's, and I believe you of course. I would like to point out that I have scaly barbs and deep callouses too, and your heel cracks looked so familiar because I've seen cracks like that, just this morning, just now looking at my own feet. It must be the double thickness that sets yours apart--the overall callous/toughness. Because that heel crack photo feels like I'm looking in a mirror. I don't feel the cracks when I get them, there's dirt and stuff in them and so on. I'm pretty sure they happen to me when it gets really dry which also happens to correspond to winter when the air here is absurdly dry. The key difference--perhaps you do have this but I bet the toughness of your feet prevents it--sometimes the cracks get away from me and go real deep, to the point they bleed and hurt really bad. THat's my least favorite thing. The tooth hole looks familiar as well.

(no subject)
posted by The Vixen on January 17th, 2008 8:06 AM

Especially by me, huh?

(no subject)
posted by Burn Unit on January 17th, 2008 3:25 PM

Hey, by your own account Vixen you didn't handle it very well. Plus you look like... I mean, you must weigh... less than one of my legs. Any amount of Haitian moonshine probably needs careful scrutiny before being consumed by you!

(no subject)
posted by mkII Robot on January 17th, 2008 6:46 PM


(no subject)
posted by miss understanding on January 17th, 2008 7:23 PM

Armpits do get a bad rep. It's a shame.

(no subject)
posted by rongo rongo on January 17th, 2008 8:19 PM

Actually, quite a lot of people have one or two really long eyebrow hairs. I have occasionally pointed these out to friends who are always surprised. Often, they then become rather fond of their one mutant eyebrow hair. Once you start looking, you'll find them on people.

(no subject)
posted by Lincøln on January 17th, 2008 8:28 PM

Yeah, I really like mine. I have two sisters who are always wanting to pin me down and pluck my eyebrows to make two. But I like my one with it's mutant hairs in it.

(no subject)
posted by Adam on January 18th, 2008 10:04 AM

This task is exactlly why Im a vegetarian.

You can look at an animal like this.

And it's the same, they are all different, some have cracked heels, some don't.

(no subject)
posted by The Vixen on January 18th, 2008 10:22 AM

I doubt I weigh less than both your legs. (Burn Unit)

(no subject)
posted by mkII Robot on January 18th, 2008 10:59 AM


That thumb thing
posted by GYØ Daryl on January 18th, 2008 2:12 PM

I can do that too (for some reason), I'm not in a position at the moment to easily photo it, but various GYØ members can back me up.

(no subject)
posted by Tøm on January 18th, 2008 2:13 PM

It freaks me out. The thumb photo also does.

(no subject)
posted by Lincøln on January 18th, 2008 2:18 PM

Wow Daryl, I have never heard of anybody else that can bend their thumb back like I can. Nice, it means that you've got a genius intellect and are better than average in the sack. Unfortunately it also means that you'd rather collect comic books, write odd stories and watch movies and play games than go out and pick up the ladies with your devilishly good looks.

(no subject)
posted by The Vixen on January 18th, 2008 2:27 PM

2nd gen. Robot rocks my socks.

Found my camera (yay, i need it for tommrow)
posted by GYØ Daryl on January 18th, 2008 2:39 PM

After extensive searching, I found it, so this is the first thing I did before I forgot.


(no subject)
posted by Lincøln on January 18th, 2008 2:40 PM

Is that George Bush Sr. in the background behind your computer there?

Err, I think
posted by GYØ Daryl on January 18th, 2008 2:43 PM

It's newsnight, it was on after QI and I couldn't be bothered to turn off the TV

(no subject)
posted by GYØ Ben on January 18th, 2008 3:19 PM

That's a damn sharp eye you've got there, Lincoln (all the better to see you with!).

However, Daryl's description up there - pretty much correct, methinks.

(no subject)
posted by Lincøln on January 18th, 2008 4:51 PM

Is it not possible that former president of the U.S. George Bush Sr. could be on the news today?

(no subject) +1
posted by Jellybean of Thark on January 19th, 2008 11:48 PM

Who wants to get recursive?
Let's get recursive!
(I just noticed this today.)

Wow: recursive and recessive
posted by susy derkins on January 20th, 2008 12:00 AM

And that also means that your moms and dads can do that too.
[edit] Geez, what I said was like stomping-over on Mendel´s laws, completely wrong!
Your parents, they might or might not be able to do it. But if they both do, all your siblings can too.

(no subject)
posted by Lincøln on January 20th, 2008 12:06 AM


Who else can do it?

(no subject) +2
posted by Levitating Potato on January 20th, 2008 8:51 AM


I can too. My brother can't.

(no subject)
posted by Lincøln on January 20th, 2008 9:05 AM

Comment votes.

Comment Vote!
posted by Jellybean of Thark on January 20th, 2008 10:30 AM

Yes, awesome! More please.

(no subject)
posted by teucer on January 21st, 2008 8:14 PM

No one comment really stands out here, but can I thread vote?

(I'd contribute but I can't do the thumb trick. (Hm. Maybe if I cheat with a thumb tip...)

Does this win the Nakedest Nakedness Award?
posted by Bex. on January 29th, 2008 2:57 AM

In parts of India they put henna on the bottom of thier feet to protect them from ouchy cracks in the dry season, what with all the walking barefoot and besandaled in the dust...

I can't believe everyone has been mature enough to not say penis yet. Heh. Heh. Weenie. Heh. Dong. Tee.

(Sorry guys, this is why I'm not supposed to leave comments late at night under the influence of jd or sleeping pills)...

(no subject)
posted by Jellybean of Thark on January 29th, 2008 8:04 AM

Who's JD?

(no subject)
posted by The Vixen on January 29th, 2008 8:21 AM

Jack.... :)