New player? Sign Up Here
p00n Totenkinder
Level 1: 10 points
Alltime Score: 6075 points
Last Logged In: February 23rd, 2017
BADGE: Senator TEAM: Society for the Superior Completion of Tasks TEAM: Group Creation Public Badge
15 + 145 points

Campaign Trail by p00n Totenkinder

April 4th, 2007 10:58 PM

INSTRUCTIONS: Run for SFZero senatorial office. Lay out your platform. Engage in vicious mudslinging against your opponents and reveal secrets from their sordid past. Curry political favors from the powerful SFZero Players' Union. Take promo photographs of you kissing babies and shaking hands with community leaders.

If you receive 25 votes on this task you will be elected and sworn in. You will receive a senatorial badge (). You may then select a congressional committee and subcommitte (e.g. Ways and Means:Oversight, Appropriations:Select Intelligence Oversight Panel, etc.) and pass pork barrel legislation to benefit members of your group. The committee and subcommittee you select should reflect your character's personal goals within SFZero and your methodology for achieving those goals.

Bearings?.... Who needs bearings.... and temerity, pffft I don’t even know what that means.

What I do know is that the great nation of SF0 is teetering on the precipice of doom. An individual in our own midst threatens to conquer and destroy everything we have created. If Elected I plan to meet the challenges of our security head on by constantly monitoring the actions of this individual and implementing a 7 tiered color coded system, code named “Roy G. Biv” to inform you, the people, of the potential threat level. We truly are in the midst of a frightening new crisis and as the representative for Humanitarian Crisis, I will not stop until this particular perpetrator is brought to justice.

I know you are asking yourself, “Will P00n really be able to keep me safe?” I’ve risen from the dead! I can do anything! I challenge you to name 5 individuals in history who have done this and NOT been related in some way to God!

What else do I have to offer beside ensured safety for you and your loved ones?


4/5/07 Addressing Concerns About My Character and the General Lack of Interest In My Candidacy:

I know that I am a relative newcomer to the game, but allow me to assure you that I am as excited about the possibilities that SF0 represents as any of you are or have ever been. I think that the excitement, creativity and energy that I have put into my task completions show that to be true.

As for questions about my trustworthiness, I have shown no reason to draw such accusations. However, in the case of Burn Unit I have concrete evidence supporting the claim that his mustache isn’t even real. If you are the kind of person that can deceive the world about facial hair where do the lies end? I feel that your focus should move to real issues such as this instead of wild unfounded mudslinging in my direction.

I will continue on this campaign trail regardless of slander, disapproval or apathy. I will prove through this campaign that I am the right player for the job.

April 8 2007

After considering Burn Unit's explination for his faux facial hair I am diven to compasion for his plight. I apologise for throwing out this herring. In a moment of weakness I attempted to divert the critical eye of the masses from myself and there by cheaply exploited the handicap of another canidate. If presented with the same circumstances, I will probably do it again.

I would now to address some serious murmurings that I have overhead regarding this new era of SF0. It has come to my attention that some players are concerned about the method by which new players are approaching the game. I for one started playing for a few reasons Firstly because I love games and a majority of my free time was spent in front of a screen umbilicaled to some shared surrogate hallucination. Once being introduced to SF0 first by Mella and Nicole and then again some time later by Avidd, rabbit and Rubin, I realized that I could get something more out of my gaming than just the act of gaming itself. I Could create and push the boundaries of everyday life. I could bring art into the world in small shiny, sharp, subversive bits. I could not only stutter the monotony in my own life, but the within the lives of the random people outside of SF0 I brought into my gaming experience. Though it would not be a game without the incentive of goal, It is the art of the game that drives me most: not points. I would ask all the new players to read this as well as the rest of the "Note To Players" completions, because the beauty of SF0 lies beyond the bare minimum of required completion.

I would also like to send out a petition to the veteran players. To coin a cliché, please don't throw out the baby with the bath water. I see very few of you showing since the reset. I don’t know all of your reasons, but I was excited to get to play with you on more of a peer level than I was able to in the last couple months of Impossible Exchange. I, for one, began my time here hearing about all the stunts and PVP that went on for the first few months of the game. I hope that the legacy of, as I believe Rubin said, (though I may be misquoting since I was drunk on sake at the time) "Retarded fucking with each other" is not over. There is still promise here and I am going to do my best to poke it with a sharp stick repeatedly until it is really annoyed.

This will be my official platform (allong with whatever else the other canidates make to be their platforms). I want to encourage and perpetuate creative and boundary breaking task completion across group boundaries. I want the game to grow and to bring the opportunities available in SF0 to anyone who wants to run with them. I will be guilty of knocking out some easy task here and there with a less than stunning completion, but I hope that a majority of my game time will be vote worthy. I will be bringing my campaign to the streets once my current volley of tasks have been completed and it will reflect my stated aim as a future SF0 elected Official.

May 15 2007 Announcement!!!!

Due to the recent stagnation in my efforts to get myself elected I would like to announce that I have hired the infamous Lowteck as my personal campaign manager. I will not publicly address any questions regarding promises or favors which I may or may not have offered Him for his services. things are about to get interesting.

In an effort to individually address the concerns of each and every one of my future constituents and to sway the ever important R0ck C4ndy vote I would like to debut my campaign slogan this week with LESS WORDS!!!!

thumb_slogan17526.jpgMay 17 2007

Some of you may have seen the campaign posters on the front page, well now we reach out beyond cyberspace to the physical theatre of sf0 with ....the germans did it with bombs for the wrong reasons, but P00n does it for you with love!

you can see a photo of the first volley which is proudly displayed on Market St near 7th across from 10 United Nations Plaza

Although I have fallen into third place after Cyber Kitty disgracefully rode the wave of anti Rubin sentiment. I am now kicking my efforts into high gear to get your votes and make SF0 the best place on the interweb!!!!!


MAY 18!!


Last night LT and I pounded the pavement like it was a dirty hippie with a sassy mouth! See the photos from the nearly completed P00n for Senate Poster Blitz We also brought the campaign directly to the doorsteps of several players and then made our way to 111 for Seeing Beyond Salon to personally vie for votes. Despite prompting from Koyah, I proceeded to not show anyone my nuts all night long. (this I feel was an incredible political move on my part)

I was also able to sway Koyah from his adamant partisan stance to a more cooperative voting position (aka voting for me.)

p.s. Anna1=HAWT


In defence of Rubin and as a proponent of the need for villans in the world I have instituted the SF0 Rubin Starset Flash Mob.

I will not be turning this in as the flash mob task this is simply a P00n for Senate Event!!!



My leadership skills should no longer be in question and yet I still have not elected to the office of senator.

there is only one course left to me. It is drastic, but I fear it is the path that I must take.......

not much
More to come.

June 11, 2007 7:25PM


- smaller

Taking SF0 to the Future....

Taking SF0 to the Future....

For The Win

For The Win

A New Player for a New Era!

she wants you LT!

she wants you LT!

sam, ian, sean's gate

sam, ian, sean's gate

sam, ian, sean's trash

sam, ian, sean's trash

lt on the job

lt on the job

29 vote(s)


(none yet)

30 comment(s)

I love ya, Poon, but stop trying to get me to see your nuts!
posted by Cthulhu Kitty on April 4th, 2007 11:33 PM

I have to oppose you on a strict no nuts policy I'm doing my best to maintain.

posted by Jason 7au on April 4th, 2007 11:42 PM

This time, the nuts are really nuts. It's not his nuts, but walnuts.

Oh, like I can trust him!
posted by Cthulhu Kitty on April 4th, 2007 11:49 PM

I wasn't taking any chances.

posted by Jason 7au on April 4th, 2007 11:51 PM

Is it me, or is this game getting weirder?

Because really my first impressions are that Glasnost is delightful, with a slight hint of fucked up.

Hey buddy don't blame me,
posted by p00n Totenkinder on April 5th, 2007 12:26 AM

yer the one that broke out the penis pump!

sorry Jiji,
posted by p00n Totenkinder on April 5th, 2007 12:31 AM

That's just how my nuts are.......they sneak up on ya! Just ask Rubin....or Rabbit....or Heather...or could go on but I'm starting to feel like that might not be such a good political move.

(no subject)
posted by Paranoid Android on April 5th, 2007 5:29 AM

hypocrite opportunist
don't infect me with your poison

I overheard
posted by M M on April 5th, 2007 9:56 AM

an anonymous source from another camp say something to the effect of "....anyone with P00 in their name is not to be trusted..."; Could you address this mudslinging please;

posted by p00n Totenkinder on April 5th, 2007 10:05 AM

That sounds less like mudslinging to me and more like poo slinging. I say anyone who would throw poo has some issues to resolve before they pass judgment on anyone else's character.

Next question.

Um, yeah...
posted by Blue on April 5th, 2007 5:26 PM

I'm not clicking on your nuts

posted by p00n Totenkinder on April 5th, 2007 9:12 PM

just do it, I know the suspense is eating you alive.

(no subject)
posted by SNORLAX on April 9th, 2007 1:12 PM

Poon is making the praxis more interesting than anyone else by far.

I fully support Poon in his senatorial race!

On the other hand, I want to see Evil Poon get his death ray.

(no subject)
posted by Jason 7au on April 9th, 2007 2:12 PM

I was holding out voting for anybody, but... eh, fuck it.

posted by Zhee Meatss Needz Cheffing on May 16th, 2007 4:12 PM

cleeck oon "hut prudooct" or joost "noots."

(no subject)
posted by anna one on May 19th, 2007 11:58 AM

I now soberly vote for the hot.

and nuts.

POON is my hero!
posted by Cthulhu Kitty on May 23rd, 2007 4:17 AM

I wish I could vote twice! (or more).

But, I am offended that you didn't have any anti Cyber Kitty slogans :(

(no subject)
posted by SNORLAX on May 23rd, 2007 9:16 AM

I'LL TAke care of that!!!!!!!

oh dont worry....Kat
posted by p00n Totenkinder on May 23rd, 2007 10:00 AM

we have a great idea for a website for your slander!!!

(no subject)
posted by SNORLAX on May 23rd, 2007 10:48 AM

P00n, what is your position on broccoli?

(no subject)
posted by anna one on May 23rd, 2007 11:11 PM

oh damn, he dropped the broccoli.

(no subject)
posted by SNORLAX on May 24th, 2007 12:28 PM

P00n, I demand answers you troll!!! : )

(no subject)
posted by p00n Totenkinder on May 24th, 2007 8:01 PM

In defence of Rubin and as a proponent of the need for villans in the world I have instituted the SF0 Rubin Starset Flash Mob.

I will not be turning this in as the flash mob task this is simply a P00n for Senate Event!!!

More to come.

...I will get to the broccoli shortly

posted by Saint on May 26th, 2007 11:11 AM

I have been holding out on voting for a while, but I think of all the people deserving my vote, it has to be POON! Plus only crazy people have the right to lead!

(no subject)
posted by Fonne Tayne on June 5th, 2007 10:25 PM

an alarming number of p00ns hawking seafood in this world.

and... thighs wide shut?? sorry, what?

(no subject)
posted by Darkaardvark on June 11th, 2007 7:15 PM

Yes! King-making Darkaardvark casts the senator-making vote!

enough whining already
posted by Burn Unit on June 11th, 2007 9:16 PM

cripes p00n, you made it. what took you so long?


posted by Lank on June 12th, 2007 12:49 AM

Congratulations, Senator. Now can you please take down those posters? They make the Baby Jesus cry.

posters are down...player photo is back up....
posted by p00n Totenkinder on June 12th, 2007 11:40 AM


um now what do we do?

(no subject)
posted by Møuse on June 17th, 2007 4:51 PM

Yes id like to ask all three senators.. what have you got to say for yourselves? Who are going to be your senate staff? Get hiring! Get deliberating about important/unimportant/semiimportant/impish things! Start making waves! The people (I the people) demand it.

(no subject) +1
posted by anna one on November 8th, 2007 11:41 PM

Dear Senator,

As one of your supporters, I am disappointed at your lack of action on the broccoli issue. I would like to encourage your firm disapproval of broccoli as an comestible. However, I do acknowledge that by having Senator Lowteck as your campaign manager you must, by proxy, have some form of alignment to the anti-broccoli league. Please, assuage the fears of your constituents by firmly taking a stand on this all-important issue.

Thank you for your consideration.
Faithfully yours,
anna one