New player? Sign Up Here
Level 1: 10 points
Alltime Score: 265 points
Last Logged In: August 4th, 2008

15 + 25 points

Celebrity by Mantooth

May 1st, 2007 6:55 PM

INSTRUCTIONS: Trace your genetic line to a celebrity.
If you cannot find one make one up.
Boast about how you are related to that celebrity for a day.

When you have a last name like Mantooth which, incidentally, is my actual last name, this stuff pretty much writes itself.

Not only, in an entirely unrelated adventure, is the character of “Wes Mantooth” from the smash hit comedy “Anchor Man” named after me but I’m also the progeny of Randolph “Emergency 51” Mantooth.

For those of you younger than 30 or those who’ve never watched smash hit cable station “Nick at Night”, Randolph (or Randy) Mantooth portrayed super-hunk firefighter John Gage on the smash hit television drama “Emergency” which ran from 1972 to 1979. “Emergency” was produced by Jack Webb. He played “Joe Friday” on “Dragnet”, another smash hit television show. I only bring this up because, as most of you know, Jack Webb was the real deal and he never would have settled for less than top rate acting talent. Ergo, my father, Randolph Mantooth was top rate, no joke and, in his own way, a smash hit.

A smash hit, that is, except when it came to parenting.

While John Gage (my dad Randolph Mantooth’s character on the smash hit “Emergency”) was saving lives on television each week in each riveting episode of “Emergency”, Randolph Mantooth, a single dad, was ignoring his only begotten son…ME…Mantooth!

Oh sure. I had a bevy of hot nannies. They’d been classically trained in Europe and knew all sorts of rare facts….real Davinci Code ancient stuff…that you don’t get in public school. Jack Webb kicks down for hot talent and you better believe that. But a kid needs his Dad not some pretty boy actor who, even though he passed on his exquisite genes to me, is never there.

While my Dad was riding around on a fake fire truck on television, I wanted him to be riding around on the father/son emotional fire truck that raced around my heart. Thus, despite my own devastating good lucks and smash hit acting ability, I shunned the entertainment industry so that I can raise my own son better than my father raised me. At least that’s what I plan on doing as soon as I get a girlfriend and knock her up.

Why, daddy? Why?

- smaller

Randolph "Randy" Mantooth a.k.a. My Dad

Randolph "Randy" Mantooth a.k.a. My Dad

Fake Mantooth

Fake Mantooth

They stole my name for his character in "Anchorman". Believe it!

Frank Mantooth

Frank Mantooth

This is Frank Mantooth. He is a jazz musician who's put out a lot of smash hits. I don't know if we are related but it would make sense on account of we are both awesome.

5 vote(s)


(none yet)

8 comment(s)

Oh to the Em Gee
posted by Burn Unit on May 1st, 2007 8:34 PM

You have got to be making this shit up! Except, of course, there's a family resemblance. Wow.

The Truth Is Out There
posted by Mantooth on May 2nd, 2007 7:55 AM

Burn Unit,

I will tell you that, in the above missive, one Mantooth anecdote is 100% false and one is 100% true. As to which one - well - I'll see you in Hell, my friend!

Smash hit....
posted by Blue on May 2nd, 2007 9:39 AM

Smash hit, Smashit!

A smashingly good start to what I hope is a long string of well completed SF0 tasks.

100% false?
posted by Burn Unit on May 2nd, 2007 11:38 AM

You mean like starting with the main one? Like how on Randy's own website he denies having children? I have to admit, you had me fooled and have me confused. Honestly, you look a little old to have come along after the "copyright 2000" mark at the bottom of Randy's Q&A page, too old to have been born before there were websites of any kind, in fact. Well played!

Hmmm. My paranoia streak manifesting this week is increasingly justified!

False is the new True
posted by Mantooth on May 2nd, 2007 11:44 AM

First off, Burn, unless Dad is talking about his glory days on Emergency or has his face half stuck in a bottle of Mogen-Davis, he is a compulsive liar.

He likes to deny my existence because he can't handle the fact that I chose not to follow in his acting footsteps. The last time I saw him was 1984. He threw a 3/4 full gallon bottle of Von's brand rum at my head and yelled "You ain't no Jack Webb".

Well, I will tell you my friend, that stung pretty damn deep but us Mantooths have our pride and that was pretty much the last time we spoke.

What's ironic is that we only live a block and a half away from each other to this very day. On - you guessed it - Rampart.

Holy crapface
posted by Ramses Ram on May 2nd, 2007 12:05 PM

What a pretty start! I want to copy you.. because you are Rocky mountain highlarious!

mantooth is everywhere
posted by Fonne Tayne on May 7th, 2007 10:35 PM

"H. Mantooth is a Doctor, a mass murderer of Spartan-class Marines..."

posted by Samantha Saint on March 16th, 2017 4:54 AM

Nice one! Fake Mantooth LOL I'm just writing my paper about my genetic line and this one made my laugh so hard, thanks!