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15 + 73 points

Saint George by Pixie, Professor Møbius

August 31st, 2010 3:29 PM

INSTRUCTIONS: Slay a dragon. Celebrate in verse, song, or painting.

Dear everyone, Sorry this was so long in the writing up. The duel is indeed still going on, but due to a number of difficulties which may include, but are not limited to nuclear waste, zombie uprisings, raptors, dancing hippos and metaphysical crisis, it took awhile to write up said praxis

We from PD0 and the Adherents of the Repeated Meme present to you:


Senator Pixie

I was quite stunned was i when I received news of a marriage proposition. I am Pixie! I am free as the wind and the idea of being tide down was truly preposterous! While i have respect for Mr. Golau and believe him to be a most engaging and enjoyable individual, i didn't believe him to be my one true soulmate.

So I gave him a challenge to suit the challenge it would be to catch my heart: To slay a dragon. However, I didn't think that was enough of a challenge. He needed to be held to standards, standards which only i could set. So ladies and gentalmen I present to you: St George

Note: due to a number of factors which seem to hate my guts right now, this is the only documentation i have of my slaying. However, Just because camera settings hated the duel, and the person with the video is taking their time to upload it doesn't mean that the dragon was any less slain.

My dragon:

My first weapons:

My Second (and more effective weapons):

The only Picture of the duel where anything can be seen (due to new camera from my amazing and wonderful camera man whom i'm indebted to forever)
main_photo-1292366.jpegMy Song!

WARNING! i don't have a good voice. I sung it on my first time. But seeing as it's a song, it felt appropriate to post it, and pretend it didn't happen.

[proof:id92368, size:100, align:left]

St. George

Once in a distant land known as the Oregon country fair
A copper haired dragon decided he’d make it his lair
Though dragons are generally creatures for whom I have respect
This ones behavior and genral demeanor was very out of spec

He was a master of fire blessed with two deadliest of wings
He’s a stealer of gaters, and a user of most delightful illegal things
Often he preened his wings when he should have roasted food
And then he’d take all the credit for cooking making my sister brood

After witnessing this offence I had to take a stand
His manor most distasteful and his food half cooked and bland
Such crimes he did commit as trying to bread fish
And leaving everything messy without doing a dish

Three nights I asked to challenge him for his sloth-ish ways
Two nights of these he cowered in inebriated daze
The third of them he took me up and unleashed his deadly fire
I summand up my courage and met the threat so dire

At first I chose a weapon and a shield he would know
The very dishes I had done for he despised them so
So with my sward and shield I approached him for the fight
And called for him to turn around and saw a ghastly sight

He’d adored himself with wings of fire and sported crimson curls
And a very practiced master of subtle flaming furls
At first I felt terror in the bottom of my heart
The best laid of my plans it seems destined to fall apart

The monster I had challenged was powerful indeed
My weapon not sufficient to meet my slaying needs
So I in panicked state turned around to flee
Giving the dragon reason to feel victorious glee

But I was stronger then the dragon at first did suppose
For though I’m a gentle friend I make a mighty foe
And while he was a master of his deadly wings of fire
Stronger was my passion, will, heart and my desire

I found myself the tools I knew could put him to the test
With swirling balls of fire I gave my very best
Fighting fire with fire our battle lit the night
But alas another failure nearly caused future devoid of light

Flames brushed ageist my skin and my weapons I did drop
I thought my plans thwarted and my slaying a tragic flop
But I reached within the flames to grab the tools to victory
Strength and grace and sense of place surged within me

With final blows and kicks I sent him fleeing far away
I was truly victorious though he wasn’t truly slain
But I thought it unethical to take the creatures life
And after battle he improved as did my sisters strife

In victory I danced with passion and with glee
I knew this as a magnificent feat of glory
But another truth more glowingly danced within my heart
I’d not be getting married or pierced with cupids dart

Note: there are more awesome and epic pictures in the files section. You should look at them being that they display my true valor and skill when it comes to fire


Part 1: Challenge, and Finding Quarry

So, I was sitting at a table with my second, Sir Justin of Eire, lover of rum and crazy women, talking about the finer points of tasking - we'd been considering raiding a maze for the sake of amusement - when my laptop beeped and the dear Lady Pixie of PD0 informed us that she had elected for St. George to be our first task; one can only assume it was to test my dragon-slaying skills AND my ability to write poetry at the same time. No problem at all; dragons cower at the mention of my name, and poetry comes to my beck and call, when I'm not being bothered taking care that my tribe of ruffians is starting wars under my nose. Aren't they darling though?

But then came the rub, the haunting problem: where would we find a dragon to slay? We don't exactly live in dragon-infested territory, and anything short of a proper drake was unacceptable for proving my worth in a duel for a lady's hand. That being the case we did some very diligent detective work, and were rewarded quickly with tales of a Sand-Dragon that had taken over the local beach of Negro Bar


We ventured through the land of Wales.

and was hording tools along the shoreline, alternately stealing shovels and picks and all manner of toolery, all the while eating the local geese (when we got there we'd thought they were small dragons, as the immediately made threatening gestures at Sir Justin). To attract this beasts's attention, we brought tools with us as lure

Sir Justin, with lure shovel, having gotten hit in the nethers to get 'psyched up' for the task at hand. His loyalty is amazing.

a shovel, stakes and other gardening utensils - and our trusty swords, of course. Armed, and equipped, we headed forth!


A small selection from my personal armory. The katana and the green longsword ended up going with us.

Part 2: Hunting the Dragon, Slaying

When we arrived, there were a number of small read-haired children playing near it, talking about how "awesome" it was to find a sand-dragon at the beach; as we approached, they spotted our swords and asked where we got such "cool knives", we replied that they were earned by bare-handedly killing their last owners. They were suitably amazed.

I sent Justin forth to investigate (I was holding the camera) and he insured - at risk of life and cleanliness - that it was quite asleep. He even got so confident that he walked up and petted it's snout, however my pictures of the aftermath of that didn't come out - as we were forced to initiate our attack rather abruptly.


Justin, the Dragon-Whisperer. Also known as Justin the Red-Shirted.

All told, our battle ended gloriously, we demolished the dragon, making safe the geese, the tools and the ginger children that inhabited the beach. After we finished destroying the dragon (which got it's vengeance by breaking one of my swords, not that that stopped Sir Justin) we took what meat from it we could, loaded up the car (sorry Jim about the smell, we know dead sand-dragon wreaks, but it tasted good...) with our spoils - both pride and dragon meat - and headed off to our local Denny's.

Twas A fine, sunny July Day,
When Justin and Mobius set out,
And as they went on their way,
Watched for a dragon they could rout.

Travelling valorous across the land,
Through the trees and over sand,
They came upon a sapphire lake,
Where they spotted the prize they'd take.

Lazing haplessly on the shore,
The beast there did lay,
Waiting for more tools to 'vore.
The duo came forth and drew blades,
Steeling themselves for the chore,
Praying philosoraptor's favor to fare well.

In unison they charged,
Swords held aloft,
Their cries gutteral,
The dragon still,
And they struck,
With tactics so complex,
Each stroke hitting home,
Some almost hitting each other,
And after eternal seconds,
The menace was slewn.

Special thanks to: JPL for driving us around until we got to the right beach, then kicking Justin in the nads for having a bad sense of direction, and Emelia Vance, for photographing for us (I don't have her pics, just her video) and giving us sand dragon building advice.

Note: It took us an hour to find the place, almost 2 to build the dragon, and only 24 seconds to completely undo all of it.

In conclusion!

Now it's for you to decide whom you think won.

Please comment at the bottom with who you think the winner is (and anything else you want to say)

May the best completion win!

+ larger

My first tools of destruction
The "Dragon"
Facing off
Fire is my plaything
do not cross me
or you shall be SLAIN!
More fire
Proof it's me
The song of St George

15 vote(s)


(none yet)

18 comment(s)

(no subject)
posted by Pixie on August 31st, 2010 4:04 PM

I vote Pixie! (but i'm a little biased in the matter)

(no subject)
posted by relet 裁判長 on August 31st, 2010 11:54 PM

+1 Pixie
+3 Møbius (of which 1 for scaring children)

(no subject)
posted by Kate Saturday on September 1st, 2010 12:29 AM

+2 Pixie for fighting for justice
+2 Mobius for making his own dragon.

all the best heroes make their own dragons. look at batman.

(no subject)
posted by rongo rongo on September 1st, 2010 9:47 AM

Hmm. I'm going to waffle, because fire is cool in general, but sand is a crazier thing to associate with dragons. But singing is good.

(no subject)
posted by Markov Walker on September 1st, 2010 10:49 AM

Pixie's song takes this one.

and change "proof:id92368" to "proof:11"

This is far closer than I thought it would be. . . .
posted by gh◌st ᵰⱥ₥ing on September 1st, 2010 2:35 PM

. . . but I'm throwing my lot in with the songstress. Writing a song is one thing, belting it out, another, further.

(no subject)
posted by Sir Pinkleton on September 1st, 2010 4:37 PM

I love both entries, really I do.
But my vote, to Pixie, is where I place my vote.

(no subject)
posted by Sombrero Guy on September 2nd, 2010 5:41 AM

Wow, this is a tough one to call. Fire, sand, swords, dustbin lids. Both battles were epic. Both verses were worthy celebrations.
I really like the sand dragon and the effort that went into it, and I think Mobius wins the slaying section for this. However, Pixie's courage in actually singing her song and giving us the recording wins the celebration part.
And I'm not sure which part of the task counts as the most important.

I'm going to give my vote to Mobius, because he has less votes at the moment, and closing the gap makes the contest more interesing...

posted by Zenobia on September 2nd, 2010 7:21 PM

I'm completely biased and it was awsome, voting for mobius all the way.

posted by Joe on September 3rd, 2010 8:40 AM


posted by Remy The Living on September 3rd, 2010 10:09 PM

4 to pixie for using legit flame.
1 for mobius for scaring children. why would you do that?

(no subject)
posted by Professor Møbius on September 3rd, 2010 10:13 PM

Remy, we all understand you're biased, but there's no reason to get slanderous. The kids actually came over and got their picture taken with the dragon, and stared raptly. While we made it. With our hands. Also, her's may have had fire, but lacked a dragon...

(no subject)
posted by Pixie on September 3rd, 2010 11:46 PM

I did have a dragon. He was a metaphorical dragon, but a dragon none the less. He, with charm and terror, convinced a group of people to do things and plundered the credit.

Also, one can also think of taming the fire as slaying a dragon. I got a nice burn out of that, and while i know belting out a song seems to be what people thinks takes courage (which it did) but then again, spinning fire can be very.... Difficult.

(no subject)
posted by Professor Møbius on September 3rd, 2010 11:52 PM

Fair enough. I wasn't implying that it wasn't courageous, or creative, merely that the presence of fire - as he attempted to validate his logic with - a dragon does not make. If that were the case, I'd've gotten Tirius drunk and given him a lighter. Had he made any of your salient points, I would have merely asked him refrain from slander.

posted by Darian Pipes on September 4th, 2010 12:32 PM

that fire thing was kind of cool but swords rock

(no subject)
posted by Tesser on September 4th, 2010 12:52 PM


(no subject)
posted by APR dreamlands on September 26th, 2010 2:02 PM

+2 for pixie, for the reason of fighting fire with fire!
+2 for mobius, for seeking out a rare sand dragon
+1 for pixie, for singing the song she created

no contest
posted by Dead Cube on September 27th, 2010 1:32 PM