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Sam Archer
Ecoterrorist
Level 8: 3126 points
Last Logged In: October 29th, 2014
TEAM: San Francisco Zero TEAM: SCIENCE! TEAM: UCZero TEAM: Run-of-the-mill taskers TEAM: ALL THINGS MEATIFUL! TEAM: Public Library Zero TEAM: Players TEAM: SSF0R (Sphores) TEAM: SFØ Academy BART Psychogeographical Association Rank 7: Pedestrian EquivalenZ Rank 3: Protocologist The University of Aesthematics Rank 4: Neoplasticist Humanitarian Crisis Rank 5: Diplomat Biome Rank 8: Ecoterrorist Chrononautic Exxon Rank 4: Prophet Society For Nihilistic Intent And Disruptive Efforts Rank 3: The Meddlesome




120 + 48 points

1000 Small (Heavy) Things by Sam Archer

February 8th, 2013 11:28 AM / Location: 37.771079,-122.5002

INSTRUCTIONS: Buy or acquire 1000 small, and if possible heavy things. Bolts or nuts (including the edible kind) would be good. Transport them to a public space (preferably carpeted) and drop them on the ground. You may drop them all in one place, or you may drop them slowly, perhaps forming a trail of some kind. If anyone harasses you, apologize profusely and then leave.

Sometimes you feel like a nut.

(Including the edible kind.)

Hazelnuts in the shell are like nature's marbles. Made for dropping. What would happen if a thousand of them were dropped in one spot? How would the biome react? Once the question occurred to me I had to know the answer.

Calculations and notes on the subject of one thousand hazelnuts.

Most grocery stores only stock them seasonally around Christmastime, but Berkeley Bowl and its ridiculously broad selection of bulk foods came through for me. The cashier didn't bat an eye; I'm sure she sees weirder things every day than someone buying seven and a half pounds of hazelnuts and nothing else.

Sometimes you feel like a nut.

I needed to make sure I dropped them in exactly the right spot. Spots? My own judgement is not to be trusted with tasks this important. I knew the answer was out there somewhere, staring me in the face, if only I could look for it with the right eyes.

I needed to think like a nut.

A pattern emerges.  The city shows me the way.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Click here for video.

- smaller

He's taunting me.

He's taunting me.


Calculations and notes on the subject of one thousand hazelnuts.

Calculations and notes on the subject of one thousand hazelnuts.


Sometimes you feel like a nut.

Sometimes you feel like a nut.


A pattern emerges. The city shows me the way.

A pattern emerges.  The city shows me the way.



12 vote(s)



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8 comment(s)

(no subject) +2
posted by Markov Walker on February 8th, 2013 11:01 PM

So am I to understand that there are 3 piles of around 300 nuts in golden gate park? Are they still there for the finding?

I may find myself treasure hunting.

(no subject) +3
posted by Sam Archer on February 9th, 2013 9:42 AM

It was in fact 1 pile (of >1000 nuts) that I moved 3 times. I thought the first time would draw a swarm of squirrels and/or bluejays that would look awesome in a timelapse video, and when it didn't I decided rather than admit defeat I'd gather the nuts up and drop them again somewhere else. Then I did it again. And again. When on the last attempt I saw the squirrels pass within 2 feet of the pile without noticing it, I decided they'd proved their point and I'd just post a montage of my failures.

The last drop was in the Shakespeare Garden, one week ago today. Odds are good that humans will have gathered them up even if squirrels haven't, but you might find some shells lying around.

(no subject) +1
posted by relet 裁判長 on February 9th, 2013 12:03 AM

The squirrels usually take mere seconds to collect whatever edibles you drop in the park. They seem to have forgotten the nature of nuts.

(no subject) +1
posted by Sam Archer on February 9th, 2013 9:44 AM

At one point I tossed a single nut to a squirrel and he jumped on it. My theory is that they do not recognize nuts when they're in a big pile, or they think it's a trap, or something.

(no subject) +1
posted by Idøntity player on February 9th, 2013 5:39 AM

You truly are an eccoterrorist.

(no subject)
posted by Sam Archer on June 29th, 2013 11:07 AM

I'm level 8!

Welcome
posted by Lincøln on July 10th, 2013 8:48 PM

Did you celebrate by dropping anything small or heavy?

(no subject) +1
posted by Sam Archer on July 17th, 2013 12:12 AM

I'm'a celebrate by doing another task. I've had one in mind for a while, just need to find the time and gumption.