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era group score: 14271
total group score: 55698
total players: 71

Tasks / Yes, Doctor

Do what the experts tell you; eat 5-a-day servings of fruits and vegetables, drink 2 litres of water, walk 10000 steps, anything along those lines.
Document your findings.

1 to 10 players
25 points
Level 2
In the zone of: Biome
Created by GYØ Vicki

Terms: veg, fruit, health, walking, doctor, water, boring, inversionweek, returnoftherevengetwoelectricboogaloo

5 completed :: 17 in progress
Interested in collaborating on this: (no one yet!)


(no subject)
posted by Dopey on October 23rd, 2008 12:12 PM

I refuse to complete this one for many many reasons.
1) Pharmaceuticals make up a large sum of Forbes500.
2) People everyday brainlessly listen to a doctor without knowing what/why and get very upset at you if you don't follow strict rules and explain with only "you're not a doctor".
3) Degrees can easily be bought for $100,000 from nearly any school of your choosing.
4) We are humans and we adapt;therefore, this may kill me because I have adapted to a different environment/lifestyle.
5) Go watch "Who the @$#% is Jackson Pollock". After seeing an "expert" look at a painting and saying," it doesnt smell like a pollock, it doesnt feel like a pollock" all the while doing strange things with his nose that i to this day do not understand, i don't trust experts.
6) Screw you, doc.
7) However; it is a nice task considering this is SF0, yet I don't believe I am that dedicated to kill myself for a task completion....yet.

(no subject) +1
posted by HKEY_Current _User on October 23rd, 2008 4:01 PM

Did you ever see that one Lewis Black stand-special where he mentions a man that eats fatback every day for breakfast because bacon is too lean? And that guy has lived to be like, eighty.

(no subject)
posted by Haberley Mead on October 23rd, 2008 4:21 PM

I am willing to kill myself for a task completion, but only if it's a particularly epic task, and even then only for completion's sake.

(no subject)
posted by rongo rongo on October 24th, 2008 12:22 PM

I think the idea with this task is selecting a specific piece of expert advice that either seems particularly good or particularly bad to you, and then trying it out in order to evaluate it. (It's the evaluation part, not the automatic following of expert advice, that is key....although of course depending on the piece of advice selected, the following part could be pretty interesting.)

(no subject)
posted by Teeth Beetles on January 7th, 2009 7:21 PM

There is no such thing as experts. An expert is merely a prop created by marketers to try to sell something. Occasionally it's just a person with too large an ego. Anyone who claims to be an expert, says you should not get a second opinion, or attacks you for questioning them in any way, is probably a crank.

Real science is like what Winston Churchill said about knowledge; to paraphrase, the more we know, the more there is to know. But rather than it being discouraging, it merely inspires us.

"Experts" suck.

(no subject) +1
posted by teucer on October 23rd, 2008 5:10 PM

It's strange, when a mention of this task appears on my updates page I think it's talking to me.

(no subject) +2
posted by Minch on October 23rd, 2008 5:14 PM

it is. at least mine is.

(no subject)
posted by Minch on October 23rd, 2008 5:13 PM

Doctors also say things like:
Masturbating regularly is good for you, reduces stress, and helps you sleep.
Pets can make you happier, you should get one.
Acupuncture is supposed to burn like that, it means you need it, it's clearing your chi.

Guess it depends on which doc you're talking to.

DOK, HEY DOK... you got anything you think I should do? I consider you both expert and doctor enough for this completion.

(no subject)
posted by teucer on October 23rd, 2008 6:30 PM

Any particular area you want me to know about? I mean, medicine is not my thing.

...Wait, actually, if you want to stick with medicine I have got a passing familiarity with the nutritional implications of humoral theory. Would you like me to get medieval on your diet?

(no subject)
posted by Mr Everyday on October 23rd, 2008 6:34 PM

I'm confused... Are you saying that those three suggestions are unreasonable?

(no subject)
posted by JJason Recognition on October 23rd, 2008 6:46 PM

I can personally confirm two out of three

(no subject)
posted by teucer on October 23rd, 2008 7:53 PM

Mr Everyday, I at least am saying no such thing. I'm in favor of pets. Might I suggest a Tokay gecko? They're fascinating to look at, although I am told you should avoid handling them.

Other pets are good too, of course. I'm partial to dogs, myself.

(no subject)
posted by Minch on October 23rd, 2008 8:42 PM

Mr Everyday, I am in no way saying any of those suggestions are unreasonable.

JJason, I can confirm a number of them as well.

Dok, please, oh pretty pretty please, get medieval on my ass... I mean diet.

(no subject)
posted by teucer on October 24th, 2008 8:13 AM

OK, it's fall, and winter is coming, and it's important to keep your body producing enough of the hot humors (blood and yellow bile), while avoiding letting it produce too much phlegm (which is cold and moist). So you should be eating a little more food and drinking less fluids than you would in the summer.

Start by increasing your bread consumption and cooking your meat and fish with dry heat (with the possible exception of beef). Poultry is a bit on the wet side nutritionally speaking, so avoid eating very much of it, but some is alright. You should avoid eating raw vegetables, though cooked ones are fine especially if you opt for things that are in season. Also, if you drink wine, dilute it with water; undiluted wine exerts a profound cooling influence on the body.

Spicy foods have a warming effect that is especially good in the wintertime, particularly for eating with cooler things such as fish. (Fish with mustard sauce is a great combination.) Tart ingredients such as vinegar tend to do the opposite, and should be used sparingly.

(no subject)
posted by Minch on October 24th, 2008 12:11 PM

So, if I am understanding your Doktorly orders correctly, I need to:

Eat more bread and dry meats, no veggies unless cooked in meat. Dilute my wine in water and eat more spicey foods.

AND I should also listen to Dax and drink two bottles of wine a day.

Got it.

(no subject)
posted by teucer on October 24th, 2008 12:35 PM


In the context of humoral theory, though, "dry" doesn't mean limiting yourself to jerky as opposed to fresh meats, it means cook your meat with dry heat. So grilled and roast meats are good; braised, stewed, or boiled ones are not.

And the veggies are welcome to be cooked without meat, but fresh raw vegetables are to be eaten only in the spring and summer. And again, dry heat is recommended, particularly as fall gives way to winter; perhaps you have a favorite roast squash recipe?

As for those two bottles of wine a day - remember that we're talking about nutrition from the ancient world. If you don't add some wine to your water and get it up to at least about 6% alcohol, there could be all sorts of nasties in it. Before modern sanitation, not drinking plain water was just common sense.

(no subject)
posted by Minch on October 24th, 2008 12:42 PM

i'm liking this diet more and more!

(no subject)
posted by teucer on October 24th, 2008 12:51 PM

You should of course also report any medical symptoms you experience so that you can tweak the details of your hormonal balance. For instance, heart trouble is almost certainly a sign of a superabundance of blood (the warm moist humor), and is best treated through the judicious application of leeches.

But you likely don't need to worry about that one. You're young enough that a healthy balance means blood should be the most prevalent in your system.

(no subject)
posted by Dax Tran-Caffee on October 23rd, 2008 9:33 PM

I heard that red wine is antioxidant, but that you'd have to drink two bottles a day to get the proper amount.

... anyone game for that advice?

That I would like to see.
posted by Waldo Cheerio on October 24th, 2008 2:08 AM

To keep yourself on a reasonable budget, may I suggest investing in one of these:

(no subject)
posted by HKEY_Current _User on October 24th, 2008 8:05 PM

I want one of those. Are there any reported health benefits to a few shots of whiskey a night?

(no subject)
posted by Kid A on October 24th, 2008 1:47 PM

Two bottles a day? Simple!

(no subject)
posted by Dopey on October 26th, 2008 5:56 PM

Does it have to be an expert? or can it be an actor acting as an expert? say, the PR "experts" on the news...are they credible to use for doing this task?

posted by Ben Whitehouse on October 30th, 2008 3:39 PM

Regular male ejaculation helps clear the nose.

posted by Raizekiel Malbrandt on January 8th, 2009 5:25 PM

That's bull! I ejaculate at least once a day, and my nose is ALWAYS stuffed up! Who said this? Tis untrue.

(no subject)
posted by Jellybean of Thark on January 8th, 2009 7:30 PM

Ben said this.

Doctors' advice to follow?
posted by Eidhnean entwines on October 30th, 2008 8:54 PM


Dr. Teeth of ...and the Electric Mayhem
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew ("We are working harder, so we can go home earlier!")
Dr. Everything'll-Be-All-Right (or, rather, the advice contra his advice)
Dr. Seuss
Dr. Moreau (“Not to run on all-fours; that is the Law. Are we not Men?”)
Dr. Frankenstein
Dr. Caligari

(no subject)
posted by Mr Everyday on October 30th, 2008 9:01 PM

Dr Nick... The heart valve's connected to... My Wristwatch?

(no subject)
posted by Dopey on November 4th, 2008 9:31 AM

Dr. The-hip-bone-is-connected-to-the-knee-bone.

(no subject)
posted by Teeth Beetles on January 7th, 2009 7:22 PM

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (on a upcoming related note)

(no subject)
posted by teucer on January 9th, 2009 7:06 AM

You know, some of those would be fun. I think I'll try this task.

(no subject)
posted by Sardonicus Tweed on January 31st, 2009 8:13 PM

Dr. No
Dr. Evil
Dr. Doom
Dr. Horrible
Dr. Dré
Dr. "Bones" McCoy
Dr. Gregory House (everybody lies, it's not lupus, etc.)
Dr. Jekyll

(no subject)
posted by teucer on June 28th, 2009 4:29 PM

Doc Ock
Doc Daneeka
Doc Holliday
Doc Savage
Doc Brown

You could also listen to *.doc - take every bit of advice out of every word document on your computer.

(no subject)
posted by teucer on February 23rd, 2010 3:31 AM

Man if I hadn't been three days early with doing this task I probably totally would have listened to *.doctor.

(no subject)
posted by Goddess of Doom and Thievery on December 28th, 2008 3:58 PM

Experts recommend male circumcision to prevent HIV.

(no subject)
posted by Teeth Beetles on January 7th, 2009 7:23 PM

Only in Africa though, according to the experts.


view all images for: Yes, Doctor

Yes, Doctor by teucer June 25th, 2009 11:53 PM

My expert here was Pythagoras. Of course, most of his advice was really allegorical, with the explanations being known to those initiated into his mystery cult, but I decided to follow it all - literally. For those watching at home, the Pythagorean M...

25 + 94 points :: 10 comments :: 22 votes
Yes, Doctor by Eidhnean entwines May 28th, 2009 8:26 AM

Yes, Doctor Moreau ... wherein I follow The Laws of Man recorded by Mr. Edward Prendick, an eyewitness to events on The Island of Dr. Moreau, published by Mr. H.G. Wells. (those uninterested in a detailed account can stop here, for this is long, or...

25 + 50 points :: 8 comments :: 11 votes
Yes, Doctor by Sombrero Guy April 13th, 2009 12:20 PM

The 'experts' say that you should eat five portions of fruit and vegetables each day. This is ridiculous. I know I could eat more than that in apples alone at times. In fact, I often carry an emergency apple around in my pocket just in case I need on...

25 + 44 points :: 10 comments :: 12 votes
Yes, Doctor by Elaine Sanderson April 15th, 2012 5:35 PM

I've always had a hard time getting in water. So I decided hey why not try drinking 2 liters. Little did I know that 2 liters was four bottles of water! Throughout the day I carried water bottles but I had to keep reminding myself to drink. I ended u...

25 + 6 points :: 0 comments :: 2 votes
Yes, Doctor by HFXØ Sponty, Amoeba Man January 26th, 2009 4:52 AM

SKYAWZA! TPS0 Episode 5 part 3! Amoeba Man Makes himself sick (don't miss this one)! It's at the end of the video because I forgot to split it up. Don't forget to check out TPS0 Episodes 1-4, as well as TPS0 Episode 5 fr...

25 points :: 0 comments :: 0 votes :: 2 collaborators