45 + 30 points
Left-Handed Screwdriver by Absurdum
September 12th, 2008 5:34 PM
Isn't it nice the way in which doing several tasks at the same time makes all of them more fun... On Thursday I decided that since I (FINALLY) had a day off, I should put it to good use tasking. I have several tasks in the works at the moment, in various stages of visualization / completion, so I decided to work on as many as I could.
In order to make this more interesting, I also decided that I would to this without the use of my right hand. I'll note that it was James reposting of his take on this task that made me think it might be something worth doing. Not being as full of win and awesome as he is, I decided that I would only disable ONE of my hands.
I will apologise now for the dearth of photos for this task. As James noted, it's remarkably difficult taking photos with one hand - ESPECIALLY any sort of action shot. And non-action shots just weren't that interesting. I could have taken several shots later in the evening of me pottering round the house and using the remote from the couch, but they seemed pointless somehow...
It was interesting to realise, during the course of the day, that there are many things I now do habitually with my left hand. I lost the use of my right hand for about 3 months a few years back (pinched nerve in my spine that no-one diagnosed for a while because it was my HAND that hurt, not my back), and got used to doing a number of things left-handed. I wear my watch left-handed. I use the remote control left-handed. I eat pies left-handed. I use umbrellas left-handed. Weirdest of all, I make cups of tea left-handed. I hadn't noticed ANY of these things (except the watch, which was actually pointed out to me about a week ago. In my defense I only started wearing a watch during the time I hurt my "hand", and I just assumed you wear it on your dominant hand anyway...). Trying these things after I had completed this task I realised that they ARE all easier with my right hand. Now I have to decide whether to try and break my habits again and go right-handed, or just leave these as left handed tasks...
Anyway, I got up at the crack of noon, and went searching for ways to disable my hand. My first thought was rubber bands, but my circulation is dodgy anyway. Turning my fingers grey for the day is probably not the best plan. A search of the house failed to turn up any tape, and tape is... inelegant in any case. I finally decided that I would just create a covering using a tea towel. This was easy enough to do, and allowed me to wipe up spills too.
First order of business was a shower. I had never considered before just how difficult it is to wash the armpit of the hand which is holding the soap. Several contortions, and some minor cramp, later this was achieved. In hindsight, using a tea-towel as a hand-disabler had some problems. Water-absorbency for example. I wracked my conscience and then decided that changing the towel wasn't cheating, as long as I didn't use my right hand to help me. This was accomplished.
Next was the toilet. I know that they call the left-hand the cack-hand, and it's all very traditional to use it, but this is one thing I NEVER got used to when I couldn't use my hand last time. Oh so uncomfortable and time consuming...
Breakfast was pretty easy (it was now that I realised the left-handed making tea thing), except that it's remarkably difficult to butter toast with one hand. A stump is NOT as useful as one would expect for holding toast in place, and became quite buttery in the process.
Next it was time to start the first task of the day (and the only one completed during the time I was one-handed). I had decided to write a love letter to my favourite wharf. The praxis for this task can be found here for those who are interested. Typing was a fairly time-consuming process. It helps that I use an advanced hunt and peck system of typing (80 words a minute at top speed, so not SLOW, but hardly elegant), with a certain amount of overlap between the two hands. I was actually quite surprised by how tired my arm became. I type a lot every day, and it wasn't like I was using a RADICALLY different system to the one I usually use, but I guess the moving my hand across the keyboard was to blame. As an aside I came to realize that I usually use 2 hands to capitalise. I had real trouble using the shift key one handed.
Having finished writing and printing the love letter, I got ready to leave the house. I had to drive and get some groceries, and assorted task supplies. Driving the car without a hand was quite challenging. First there was the problem of turning it on. The car I currently have to use is INCREDIBLY cramped. The space between steering wheel and door is almost non-existent, and it is HERE that the ignition is located. I suppose Americans to be luckier in this, in that I assume your ignition is to the right of your steering column, in the spacious central part of the car. In Left-hand drives (ie normal cars), the ignition is still to the right, right next to the drivers door.
I tried several different ways to turn the key. The EASIEST was to get out of the car, leave the door open, and start the car while standing outside it. This had a few drawbacks however. One, it was pissing down rain. Two, starting your car from outside the vehicle in a crowded parking lot is probably going to attract the wrong kind of attention. I finally worked out that the easiest way to start the car from inside was to reach through the steering wheel, under the steering column, and up to the key using my left hand, while facing the rear of the car. SIMPLE.
The next challenge was steering. I admit that when I was thinking about this challenge, I was thinking in terms of my OLD car. That car was a gem - a Nissan S-Cargo. Basically an open plan box on wheels. It was actually EASIER in that car to steer with your wrists and forearms, just placing your whole arm on the wheel, and then leaning your torso in the direction in which you wished to turn. However, I unfortunately put it under a bus recently. Twice. I was fine, but the car was smashed to pieces. The car I'm CURRENTLY using has the turning circle of a fully laden oil-tanker and requires you to spin the wheel 3 or 4 times to get full turn. Also, the wheel is ludicrously far from the drivers seat (to encourage correct posture) which means leaning is out. At first I tried putting my whole hand inside the steering wheel, but this didn't work. Eventually I figured out that I could use my left hand to turn, and so long as I pressed down REALLY hard with my wrist while I repositioned that hand to turn more, the wheel wouldn't snap back into place, straightening the car suddenly (crazy power steering). Just as well I live on a quiet street...
Having successfully taught myself to drive, I headed to the supermarket. Having gotten there I had second thoughts about my hand-cover. Walking around with your hand shrouded in an OBVIOUS tea towel just isn't so cool. I decided to go for the only slightly less suspicious look of keeping my right hand in my pocket the whole time. This made driving the shopping trolley rather interesting (no fatalities), and got me some suspicious looks from the cashier, but was otherwise quite OK. I bought the groceries we needed, and also 6KG of salt - for an upcoming task. I also got a lighter and some firestarters, but I fear that even with those the day was too wet for burning...
I also went next door to the garden centre / hardware store to try and decide how I'm going to make and haft a knife, and what materials I'll use (thinking aluminium cans and bone at this stage, but still not sure). Bought a new spade for digging.
I then drove to the nearby town of Arrowtown to eat pies. The shop there has won national awards for it's pies, so I always go when I can. Apricot chicken - YUM!!! It was then that I realised I eat pies left handed. I had intended to go panning for black-sand in the arrow river, but it was just raining too hard, and the river was up - so I'll leave that for another day.
Drove to Lake Hayes and pinned up the love letter prepared earlier onto the wharf. Success. I then spent some time climbing over, and scrambling under trees - looking for likely sites for Fairy cottages. It's remarkable how difficult it is to climb wet trees with inappropriate footwear and only one hand. I quickly discovered that it's even MORE difficult if you're trying to hold / use a camera in your one good hand. Fortunately I didn't fall IN the water (and neither did my camera), but I did end up quite wet. I also scouted locations for burning ground and sleeping in trees, but the day proved unsuitable.
Finally arrived home as dusk was coming down. Had the first set of terrible cramps in the joint of my hand. It's weird, maybe it's because I was concentrating on not using it, but my hand started to feel like a useless lump of meat. My hand never felt like this during the time I couldn't use it for real, but now...
My father called to announce that he WOULD be coming home after all, and bringing tea (dinner) with him. This was a relief in that I couldn't really be bothered cooking after my long day, but on the other hand, forced me to tell him all about why I couldn't use my hand. He laughed more than I thought was totally necessary, but is used to my weirdness.
After that it was pretty much just TV, and then typing up the praxis for the object annotation task. Finally at the end of the day I removed the towel and... Found that I couldn't open my hand at all - my joints had locked it into a claw. OH JOY!!!! This persisted for an hour or so of massage and joint cracking, but has pretty much come right now.
All in all this task was an interesting addition to an interesting day.
In order to make this more interesting, I also decided that I would to this without the use of my right hand. I'll note that it was James reposting of his take on this task that made me think it might be something worth doing. Not being as full of win and awesome as he is, I decided that I would only disable ONE of my hands.
I will apologise now for the dearth of photos for this task. As James noted, it's remarkably difficult taking photos with one hand - ESPECIALLY any sort of action shot. And non-action shots just weren't that interesting. I could have taken several shots later in the evening of me pottering round the house and using the remote from the couch, but they seemed pointless somehow...
It was interesting to realise, during the course of the day, that there are many things I now do habitually with my left hand. I lost the use of my right hand for about 3 months a few years back (pinched nerve in my spine that no-one diagnosed for a while because it was my HAND that hurt, not my back), and got used to doing a number of things left-handed. I wear my watch left-handed. I use the remote control left-handed. I eat pies left-handed. I use umbrellas left-handed. Weirdest of all, I make cups of tea left-handed. I hadn't noticed ANY of these things (except the watch, which was actually pointed out to me about a week ago. In my defense I only started wearing a watch during the time I hurt my "hand", and I just assumed you wear it on your dominant hand anyway...). Trying these things after I had completed this task I realised that they ARE all easier with my right hand. Now I have to decide whether to try and break my habits again and go right-handed, or just leave these as left handed tasks...
Anyway, I got up at the crack of noon, and went searching for ways to disable my hand. My first thought was rubber bands, but my circulation is dodgy anyway. Turning my fingers grey for the day is probably not the best plan. A search of the house failed to turn up any tape, and tape is... inelegant in any case. I finally decided that I would just create a covering using a tea towel. This was easy enough to do, and allowed me to wipe up spills too.
First order of business was a shower. I had never considered before just how difficult it is to wash the armpit of the hand which is holding the soap. Several contortions, and some minor cramp, later this was achieved. In hindsight, using a tea-towel as a hand-disabler had some problems. Water-absorbency for example. I wracked my conscience and then decided that changing the towel wasn't cheating, as long as I didn't use my right hand to help me. This was accomplished.
Next was the toilet. I know that they call the left-hand the cack-hand, and it's all very traditional to use it, but this is one thing I NEVER got used to when I couldn't use my hand last time. Oh so uncomfortable and time consuming...
Breakfast was pretty easy (it was now that I realised the left-handed making tea thing), except that it's remarkably difficult to butter toast with one hand. A stump is NOT as useful as one would expect for holding toast in place, and became quite buttery in the process.
Next it was time to start the first task of the day (and the only one completed during the time I was one-handed). I had decided to write a love letter to my favourite wharf. The praxis for this task can be found here for those who are interested. Typing was a fairly time-consuming process. It helps that I use an advanced hunt and peck system of typing (80 words a minute at top speed, so not SLOW, but hardly elegant), with a certain amount of overlap between the two hands. I was actually quite surprised by how tired my arm became. I type a lot every day, and it wasn't like I was using a RADICALLY different system to the one I usually use, but I guess the moving my hand across the keyboard was to blame. As an aside I came to realize that I usually use 2 hands to capitalise. I had real trouble using the shift key one handed.
Having finished writing and printing the love letter, I got ready to leave the house. I had to drive and get some groceries, and assorted task supplies. Driving the car without a hand was quite challenging. First there was the problem of turning it on. The car I currently have to use is INCREDIBLY cramped. The space between steering wheel and door is almost non-existent, and it is HERE that the ignition is located. I suppose Americans to be luckier in this, in that I assume your ignition is to the right of your steering column, in the spacious central part of the car. In Left-hand drives (ie normal cars), the ignition is still to the right, right next to the drivers door.
I tried several different ways to turn the key. The EASIEST was to get out of the car, leave the door open, and start the car while standing outside it. This had a few drawbacks however. One, it was pissing down rain. Two, starting your car from outside the vehicle in a crowded parking lot is probably going to attract the wrong kind of attention. I finally worked out that the easiest way to start the car from inside was to reach through the steering wheel, under the steering column, and up to the key using my left hand, while facing the rear of the car. SIMPLE.
The next challenge was steering. I admit that when I was thinking about this challenge, I was thinking in terms of my OLD car. That car was a gem - a Nissan S-Cargo. Basically an open plan box on wheels. It was actually EASIER in that car to steer with your wrists and forearms, just placing your whole arm on the wheel, and then leaning your torso in the direction in which you wished to turn. However, I unfortunately put it under a bus recently. Twice. I was fine, but the car was smashed to pieces. The car I'm CURRENTLY using has the turning circle of a fully laden oil-tanker and requires you to spin the wheel 3 or 4 times to get full turn. Also, the wheel is ludicrously far from the drivers seat (to encourage correct posture) which means leaning is out. At first I tried putting my whole hand inside the steering wheel, but this didn't work. Eventually I figured out that I could use my left hand to turn, and so long as I pressed down REALLY hard with my wrist while I repositioned that hand to turn more, the wheel wouldn't snap back into place, straightening the car suddenly (crazy power steering). Just as well I live on a quiet street...
Having successfully taught myself to drive, I headed to the supermarket. Having gotten there I had second thoughts about my hand-cover. Walking around with your hand shrouded in an OBVIOUS tea towel just isn't so cool. I decided to go for the only slightly less suspicious look of keeping my right hand in my pocket the whole time. This made driving the shopping trolley rather interesting (no fatalities), and got me some suspicious looks from the cashier, but was otherwise quite OK. I bought the groceries we needed, and also 6KG of salt - for an upcoming task. I also got a lighter and some firestarters, but I fear that even with those the day was too wet for burning...
I also went next door to the garden centre / hardware store to try and decide how I'm going to make and haft a knife, and what materials I'll use (thinking aluminium cans and bone at this stage, but still not sure). Bought a new spade for digging.
I then drove to the nearby town of Arrowtown to eat pies. The shop there has won national awards for it's pies, so I always go when I can. Apricot chicken - YUM!!! It was then that I realised I eat pies left handed. I had intended to go panning for black-sand in the arrow river, but it was just raining too hard, and the river was up - so I'll leave that for another day.
Drove to Lake Hayes and pinned up the love letter prepared earlier onto the wharf. Success. I then spent some time climbing over, and scrambling under trees - looking for likely sites for Fairy cottages. It's remarkable how difficult it is to climb wet trees with inappropriate footwear and only one hand. I quickly discovered that it's even MORE difficult if you're trying to hold / use a camera in your one good hand. Fortunately I didn't fall IN the water (and neither did my camera), but I did end up quite wet. I also scouted locations for burning ground and sleeping in trees, but the day proved unsuitable.
Finally arrived home as dusk was coming down. Had the first set of terrible cramps in the joint of my hand. It's weird, maybe it's because I was concentrating on not using it, but my hand started to feel like a useless lump of meat. My hand never felt like this during the time I couldn't use it for real, but now...
My father called to announce that he WOULD be coming home after all, and bringing tea (dinner) with him. This was a relief in that I couldn't really be bothered cooking after my long day, but on the other hand, forced me to tell him all about why I couldn't use my hand. He laughed more than I thought was totally necessary, but is used to my weirdness.
After that it was pretty much just TV, and then typing up the praxis for the object annotation task. Finally at the end of the day I removed the towel and... Found that I couldn't open my hand at all - my joints had locked it into a claw. OH JOY!!!! This persisted for an hour or so of massage and joint cracking, but has pretty much come right now.
All in all this task was an interesting addition to an interesting day.
6 vote(s)
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rain4 comment(s)
posted by Absurdum on September 12th, 2008 6:34 PM
Well, first I went under the bus, then it spun me into a cliff. I bounced off the cliff and went... back under the bus. Then my petrol tank ruptured, then I tipped over sideways. The Bus-driver and I BOTH thought I was a goner the second time I went under the bus, but it turns out that a Nissan S-Cargo is the best possible car in which to get hit by a bus, because it is A/ Short and square, and B/ Very tall.
Also, there is nothing inside it. This means that when a 20kg piece of jade and two wood splitting axes go pinballing round inside it gets... interesting. However, it ALSO means that your head doesn't hit anything attached to the frame of the car when you're getting thrown around.
Sigh, I MISS my ridiculous bubble car.
posted by susy derkins on September 12th, 2008 8:34 PM
Whoa, the anniversary of that should certainly be cause for celebration! (where is that task?).
Very endearing, those escargots, but they are right hand drive. What does that mean, stories-inside-stories man?
posted by Absurdum on September 12th, 2008 9:24 PM
Sorry, I always get left-hand-drive and right-hand-drive mixed up. I always think that it's left-hand-drive here because we drive on the left, but it's where the steering wheel goes...
And yes, that IS a picture of my baby on wikipedia. I actually knew the pun in the name, my friends called it "the snail". My Japanese friends called it "den-den-mushi", which is pretty much the same. Mine was sky blue, with clouds. There were definately more than 12,000 made, there are 8 in my town alone (well, 7 now), and mine was made in 1987, so the date is off there too (in case I misremembered I just checked google and I see other 1987 models for sale here in NZ, although they'll all be imports).
The sister vehicle of the S-cargo is the Fun-Cargo, which is even cooler. The adds shout the name as "FUN!!! CAR!!! GO!!!" (Actually, I think that was the ad slogan), and they include seats that fold OUT OF THE CAR on huge hinges so you can use them like stadium seating. You guys miss out on some cool cars in North America with your import restrictions and tariffs.
Thanks for noticing the embedded stories incidentally, I LOVE doing that. As for that anniversary, it was an interesting week that week. My father's shop burnt down the day before, and I took over the shop I bought the day after ;-> My staff thought they might have been left with no boss.
For Wikihow: How to start a left-hand drive car with the ignition on the right of the steering wheel using your left hand.
Hey, and just how do you put a car under a bus twice?
Really fantastic story, thanks for the laughs.