I would like to examine the fact, according to Jimmy Durante that the State of Arkansas is in the wrong place by:
1. Placing the Best of Jimmy Durante on my Fisher Price turntable
2. Transcribing the lyrics to The State of Arkansas
3. Providing the lyrics to The State of Arkansas which to the best of my searching abilities has never before been available on the internet.

The State of Arkansas
Everybody is trying to figure out what’s wrong with the country, well I’m proud to say I’ve solved the case cause after dilly-dallying shilly-shallying, I’ve reached a concussion - the state of Arkansas is in the wrong place! When they formed the 48 states, Arkansas didn’t have dues to join the union. Why nobody ever thought of it before, I’ll never know. It’s a simple little move but what improvements it’ll show. Move the state of Arkansas to Nebraska then move Nebraska to Idaho then move the state of Idaho to Alaska and move to Alaska to Oh hi oh.

It took a lot of brain work, see the wrinkles on my brow. There’s a lot of legal details but I’m working on ‘em now. Move Ohio to Nevader, it’s as plain as ABC then we’ll move Nevader where Arkansas use to be. We’ll have a better nation just by changing the location of the state of Arkansas.

Let me show you what I mean.
If you move Arkansas, you gotta move it someplace, right?
Right!
If you move it someplace, you got to move what was someplace to someplace else, right?
Right!
And if you move what was someplace else to someplace else you gotta move what was someplace else to some other place else, right?
Right!
Wrong!

Last week, I went to the house of congress and spoke for two hours about my plan.
I would have spoken longer if Congress had been in session.
My plan is to move all the states to better places.

I’d take Nebraska and put it in Rhode Island.
I’d take Minnesoter and put it in Rhode Island
I’d take Montana and put it in Rhode Island.
(RIP!!!)
Poor little Rhode Island just split at the seams.

To continue, I’d move Idaho out into the desert, then when the farmers planted potatoes, it would be so hot, the potatoes would come up already baked.

…and New York, I’d put New York right in the middle of New Mexico. Then with all them New Yorkers in New Mexico look at all the Indian blankets they’d buy!
This may not solve inflation but what an income for the Indians!

Move Ohio to Nevader, it’s as plain as ABC the we’ll Nevader where Arkansas use to be. We’ll have a better nation just by changing the location of the state of Arkensaw.