Physical Junk Mail:

Comcast Cable Flier (x2)
RCN Cable Bundle Packet (Foils is non-recyclable - assholes)
Signature Realty - House for sale on my block - Hand delivered
REI Catalog - If you'r a member, you get the catalog like it or not.
Sequoia Hospital Flier - The hospital has my info. Bastards!
Bed Bath and Beyond 20% off coupon - I actually use these sometimes.

Virtual Junk Mail:

Misc Meds (x19)
Viagra, Cialis, or other Erection drug (x18)
Hot Stock (x15)
Penis Enlargement / Increase Sperm Volume (x11)
Diet / Lose Weight (x10)
Rolex (x9)
Mortgage (x7)
Phermones (x3)
Get Laid Tonight (x2)
Diploma (x1)
Mosquito Trap (x1)

Apparently I'm a medicating, overweight, TV watching perv, who, in the rare case when I get it up, find that it's not big enough or fully loaded. It's ok though, because with these hot stock picks, my 10 ivy league college diplomas, and the low low rates on my house refinance, I'll be able to afford a rolex and phermones to attract a woman who won't care about my dysfunctionality... all from the comfort of my own home. I love the internet.