Team HQ! by Zachary Dean Norman
March 17th, 2008 2:32 PM / Location: 41.922379,-87.70282
External View of Team HQ
This is an external view of the Team HQ. It is apparent from this angle that the Team HQ resembles a cardboard box that was once used as a postal container.
Control Panel
This is a view of the heart of the Team HQ. From this panel one can commandeer all functions of the Team HQ. Those functions range from pacification of inferior beings who must be quieted lest they challenge the peaceful existence of the Team HQ to controlling the temperature of the water dispensed from the Team HQ watercooler.
Standard Team HQ Computer
This is an example of the sort of cutting edge technology utilized by the Team HQ. A Standard Team HQ Computer is used for many purposes, including but not limited to data entry, cartography, mind control, PowerPoint presentations, e-mail, research, background checks, resume composition, dissemination of propaganda via world wide web and greeting card design.
Office Phone
This is one of many Team HQ Office Phones. All of the Office Phones come equipped with an intercom system connected to all other Office Phones via the Control Panel. Other features include speaker phone, voicemail, hands free, speed dial and voice modulation.
3-Drawer Vertical Filing Cabinet
The Team HQ mainly employs the use of 3-Drawer Vertical Filing Cabinets although 4, 5 and 6 Drawer Vertical Filing Cabinets can be found scattered throughout cubicles and offices within the Team HQ. Industrial Designers and Office Supply Coordinators hired by the Team HQ recommended the use of 3-Drawer Vertical Filing Cabinets for reasons unknown to the staff members of the Team HQ. There is an Internal Investigation scheduled to commence in exactly one month. Its purpose is to disclose information pertaining to the reason for the use of 3-Drawer Vertical Filing Cabinets at the Team HQ. These are the sorts of questions that prey on a Team member's mind, to the point of paralysis which inevitably leads to a decrease in productivity.
Our Garden In Spring
This is an idyllic photographic representation of Our Garden In Spring. In Spring Our Garden flourishes. Our Garden In Spring is mainly used by Team HQ staff to relieve some of the burden experienced after a hard day of work at the Team HQ. A Team HQ staff member may relieve that burden by participating in activities which take place regularly in Our Garden In Spring including Tetherball and Four Square (note: Kickball has been banned in Our Garden In Spring since evidence of steroid ingestion was found last Spring in three members of a Team HQ intramural Kickball team).
Our Watercooler
This is a Team HQ Watercooler, 1 of 14 in use at the Team HQ (3 of the 14 in use at the Team HQ dispense only tepid water and are thus considered by some to be simply water dispensers not watercoolers because their function is not to decrease (cool) the temperature of the water but to dispense it). Team members regularly congregate around Team HQ Watercoolers to discuss goings-on within the Team HQ. A much discussed topic in recent weeks has been the alleged sexual affair between two Team HQ members, whose identities shall remain secret.
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It is a little presumptuous of mr Flash Harry to assume that his definition of "create" applies to everyone. I think you did create something, and most importantly you think you created something. Therefore, you fulfilled what the task meant to you. Well done good chap.
I did create something. I brought something into being that did not exist before I thought it up, drew it out, photographed and posted it. I'm not sure how you define creation but I think your thinking may be limited and inaccurate. I challenge you to support your earlier erroneous comment. I think you'll find it impossible.
I'm digging your team HQ. Don't worry about Mr. F (aka Flash Harry) as by my understanding of his definition of 'create' it seems that we shouldn't even worry about, or take into consideration, what he wrote as it doesn't actually exist, seeing as he seems to think that markings (e.g. letters, drawings, etc.) are not creations and therefore don't exist at all. On a different note, cartography? Hasn't everything been discovered by guys like Magellan and NASA?
Oh, yeah, yeah. Those people. Those guys did a pretty good job.
I suppose it never hurts to double check.
That's very true. Chickens do not applaud. They also can't operate a typewriter.
But boy! do chickens cackle.
On a different note, I'm torn by, on the one hand, being highly disturbed by the standard corporate office/cubicle contents of your HQ, only made worse by pacifying control panels and internal investigations into 3-drawer filing cabinet procurement (is this HQ in Washington, DC by any chance???), and, on the other hand, the unique tone of your descriptions and the presence of a Garden in Spring. I wouldn't want this for my HQ, but it is very real...
Well done.
HEY! HEY! We have a way of finding out whose a chicken around here, with a little game we like to call...chicken.
I like it. Regardless of whether it's real or not. I like it.
I'm slightly saddened by the lack of HQ tire swing, but otherwise I likes it.
Didn't actually 'create' anything, did you?