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Joshua Kelly
Level 1: 10 points
Alltime Score: 3018 points
Last Logged In: August 6th, 2008
BADGE: The Sweet Cheat Gone
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GG Park Late Night Hedonism Circuit by Joshua Kelly, ambitron indifornian

July 2nd, 2006 12:43 AM

INSTRUCTIONS: *AFTER DARK ONLY*

This journey involves a little bit of walking and a lot of fun. You will develop a great appreciation of this bizarre rectangle of man-made garden.

There are a few check points at which you must perform some act of hedonism and document it with a picture. I guess committing any of the 7 deadly sins would suffice. You can choose your own horrible, hedonistic, and deplorable acts.

The journey begins at the end of Haight or the end of the panhandle. You must walk to the various checkpoints in order. or not, how would anyone know anyway? Do your act and take a pic.

Checkpoint#1 - AIDS Memorial.

Checkpoint#2 - Botanical Gardens fountain. After dark. This place is closed off. You must find a way in. Hint: stone wall. Although there are other answers.

Checkpoint#3 - Stow Lake Island.

Checkpoint#4 - Bison Paddock/Water Buffalo Field/whatever its called.

Checkpoint#5 - Dutch Windmill.

Checkpoint#6 - The Beach!!



Hedonism according to Wikipedia:
Hedonism (Greek: hēdonē "pleasure" + –ism) describes any way of thinking that gives pleasure a central role. Hedonism can be generally summed up as "pleasure is the highest good" or — in an ethical formulation — "whatever causes pleasure is right." Furthermore, Hedonism can be defined as the doctrine holding that behavior is motivated by the desire for pleasure and the avoidance of pain.

The hedonistic view focuses on increasing pleasure and reducing pain. Note that while the terms were originally employed literally, this is no longer the case. There seems to be no common ground on what actually constitutes pleasurable or painful activities. The hedonistic philosophy usually has a sexual or libidinal connotation.



The park is a different world at night. The city is silent, wind provides the only soundtrack and the geese act like they own the place.


1. Aids Memorial.
What better way to honor those who had fallen from this devastating disease than with a few hands of craps and some scratchers?

2. Botanical Gardens Fountain
The stone wall was easily scaled by champagne drinking ninjas. We were not alone in the gardens that evening, although the other trespassers were quietly tucked into sleeping bags. Hedonistic act: Smoking. It is bad for you.
There is a fountain in the back of that picture, I swear.

3. Stow Lake Island
Paddleboats were not available for rental at this time, although there were some dudes hanging out in the parking lot eating slices of pizza. Little critters scampered across our path as we debated the location of the bridge. Once across, champagne was consumed, Andre Brut or some shit. $7.00 for two bottles.

4. Buffalo Paddock
What could be more Hedonistic then gladiator combat? The buffalo were regrettably uncooperative. Armor sponsored by FedEx Packaging.

5. Windmill
Gluttony! Reese's Peanut Butter Bites are the height of sugary snack treats. There were a lot of fireworks seen from this location, but we cannot take credit for them.

6. The Beach
There were dozens of bonfires out at the beach this friday night. The legality of these fire based parties is constantly being challenged at city hall. Contact your supervisor if you have an opinion one way or the other.
The less said about this act of self-pleasure, the better.


The entire evening wraps up as an excellently hedonistic nerd-date. If you have someone you're trying to bring into SF0, this task is highly recommended.

+ larger

aids memorial
throwing craps
climbing the wall
scared while josh disappeared
smoking in the botanical garden
the fountain
drinking at stow lake
stow lake
combat
combat II
yeah, right.
eating. gluttony.
the windmill.
the beach. burning.
josh...is...
...pleasuring himself.

5 vote(s)



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4 comment(s)

I thought I already voted on this...
posted by Cameron on July 5th, 2006 9:56 PM

Gladiator Combat? Excellent.

i thought i already voted on this too
posted by Jason on September 2nd, 2006 1:16 AM

it's a classic.

Glad you enjoyed the Gardens
posted by Tony Morosco on September 3rd, 2006 11:59 AM

We've been having some increasing problems with trash/graphittii/broken glass in the Botanical Gardens overnight, so if you see any vandels, we ask that you report them. Otherwise, enjoy!

(no subject)
posted by Joshua Kelly on September 29th, 2006 1:12 PM

We were very tidy.