125 + 320 points
Shoot To Kill by Joshua Kelly
August 2nd, 2006 11:32 AM
Shoot to Drench
Once tentative plans had been made for my Epic Ambush I sent the following message to nearly everybody in SF.
CALLING ALL SF0 PLAYERS
Army of water balloon wielding maniacs needed for ambush in Golden Gate park this weekend. Sunday July 30th, Noon to 2:00pm. Exact Location to be divulged. Bring your squirt guns, water balloons, seltzer bottles and buckets. Pretend to have a picnic. Enjoy the sunshine and meet new players. Wreck Havoc.
The only condition for membership in the Sunny Sunday Army is that you must not be easily recognizable by the target. If you are but you still want to play, contact me for alternate plans.
TARGET
Contact me if you are interested.
I realized I took a broad definition of group here, but a Biome attack would have been lame, an army of shambling hippies throwing organic tofu wasn’t what I wanted. So I decided to contact anyone close enough to San Francisco who would be interested. I spammed all the new players and any player with 100+ points who had signed on in the last month.
Also, I skipped a lot of people in EquivalenZ who had already done the task, not really thinking this woudl be a lot of fun in it's own right, as it was we only had a few EquivalenZ members show up. My Apologies.
If someone was interested, I sent them these battle plans:
Welcome to the SUNNY SUNDAY ARMY
OBJECTIVE:
Ambush and aquatic annihilation of One CAMERON SUEY, using classic battlefield tactics.
BRING ALL YOUR FRIENDS!
QUESTIONS: Feel free to call GENERAL KELLY(me) at 415.xxx.xxxx
WHAT TO EXPECT:
Meet at 12:00 NOON at STOW LAKE IN GOLDEN GATE PARK. The Exact Location is the grassy meadow on the South Side of Stow Lake. Look for Brightly colored tape tied around trunks of the trees. If you get to the Boathouse, walk Counter-Clockwise around the lake. There will be innocuous pie plate signs to direct you. I’ll be there at 11:30. UNITS will be divided into Two Teams with different strategic approaches.
Check out the SATELLITE FOOTAGE
STEALTH TEAM:
Qualifying members will not be recognizable by The Target. Either because they have never met him, or can sufficiently disguise themselves. Unknowns will pretend to be picnicking in the meadow or otherwise enjoying themselves until signaled by whistle to attack. Units must be able to conceal their weaponry, water balloons inside picnic baskets, squirt guns etc.
STRIKE TEAM:
All other UNITS who would be easily recognized by TARGET, including myself, will hide at secure locations until the attack. Relying on text messaging for coordination, STRIKE TEAM will hide in secure locations until signaled by whistle and then proceed to attack
SPECIAL AGENTS NEEDED:
I need a few people to volunteer to take pictures, I will bring an outdated video camera. Someone with a car would be helpful in this role.
BATTLE PLAN:
At approximately 1300 (that’s 1:00PM) TARGET and THE MOLE will enter field and proceed to PICNIC.
GENERAL KELLY (that’s me!) will approach TARGET and THE MOLE and engage in small talk while STRIKE TEAM gets into position. When GENERAL KELLY blows the whistle, ALL UNITS ATTACK until TARGET is drenched.
IF YOU COME LATE
Act Casual and head to the TOP OF THE HILL in the center of Stow Lake.
WHAT TO BRING:
Squirt Guns
Water Balloons
Bottled Water
Picnic Blankets
Something you would normally take to the park to entertain yourself.
Beverages
Snacks
Disguises
Cell Phone
Camera
Towel
Battle Gear: Creativity is Encouraged. Luchador Masks, Spiked Helmets and Clown Shoes, whatever you want.
WEATHER is expected to be sunny but cool. Bring a Layer.
STAY AFTER the attack for REFRESHEMENTS and hearty backslaps.
QUESTIONS: Feel free to call the GENERAL at 415.xxx.xxxx
When things went sour Saturday Morning, I issued this bulletin:
Because the San Francisco Marathon just happens to be tomorrow, I'm changing the location at the last minute. Please stay tuned. New information to be released tonight.
"Every battle takes place at night, in the rain, where the corners of four maps meet. "
I don't know who said that but it is appropriate.
General Josh
Then, the night before the attack, I sent everyone this update:
ALLCON BULLITIN: SUNNY SUNDAY ARMY
This will be the last bulletin before operations commence tomorrow. Please forward this to any interested parties. And please call me if you have any questions 415-xxx-xxxx
WHEN: Sunday, 12:00 NOON
LOCATION:
A field in Golden Gate Park Right were HIGHWAY 1 (aka 19th Ave.) meets MARTIN LUTHER KING DRIVE. Just north of MLK drive and East of Highway 1. It is South of Stow Lake, next to a CHILDREN’S PLAYGROUND.
See the Recon Photo
And look for this landmark:
THE TARGET
Target is 6’ 2” about 220lbs. this later proved to be a generous estimate He will be in the company of THE MOLE. Our agent is not to be harmed in any way.
GENERAL JOSH (me) will be at the location at 11:30 wearing a BLACK ARMY JACKET with a bright Slash Zero on the back, he might also have a SF0 Flag if he can get it together in time. Look for bright blue crepe paper hanging from the trees. Come meet me for the briefing at 12:00 NOON.
Some weaponry will be provided.
SGT PRANK MONKEY has offered to carpool with anyone, he lives in the Lower Haight, contact him for coordination.
Attack begins around 13:00, if you come late and miss the briefing, conceal your weapons, come to the playground, keep your distance from the target and act casual. Wait for the whistle to attack.
Weather will be Sunny but cool.
The San Francisco Marathon will be in the park at this time, but not on the street we are on. I do not know how this will affect traffic but I suggest planning some time to find a parking space or biking.
Bring whatever wacky friends you want, stay for snacks, drinks and chuckles.
No plan is foolproof, be prepared to improvise. Call me with any questions, need for directions, anything. 415-xxx-xxxx
General Josh
When more then 20 people showed up for this charming little war, I knew my time spent as Gereral Josh was well worth it.
Once tentative plans had been made for my Epic Ambush I sent the following message to nearly everybody in SF.
CALLING ALL SF0 PLAYERS
Army of water balloon wielding maniacs needed for ambush in Golden Gate park this weekend. Sunday July 30th, Noon to 2:00pm. Exact Location to be divulged. Bring your squirt guns, water balloons, seltzer bottles and buckets. Pretend to have a picnic. Enjoy the sunshine and meet new players. Wreck Havoc.
The only condition for membership in the Sunny Sunday Army is that you must not be easily recognizable by the target. If you are but you still want to play, contact me for alternate plans.
TARGET
Contact me if you are interested.
I realized I took a broad definition of group here, but a Biome attack would have been lame, an army of shambling hippies throwing organic tofu wasn’t what I wanted. So I decided to contact anyone close enough to San Francisco who would be interested. I spammed all the new players and any player with 100+ points who had signed on in the last month.
Also, I skipped a lot of people in EquivalenZ who had already done the task, not really thinking this woudl be a lot of fun in it's own right, as it was we only had a few EquivalenZ members show up. My Apologies.
If someone was interested, I sent them these battle plans:
Welcome to the SUNNY SUNDAY ARMY
OBJECTIVE:
Ambush and aquatic annihilation of One CAMERON SUEY, using classic battlefield tactics.
BRING ALL YOUR FRIENDS!
QUESTIONS: Feel free to call GENERAL KELLY(me) at 415.xxx.xxxx
WHAT TO EXPECT:
Meet at 12:00 NOON at STOW LAKE IN GOLDEN GATE PARK. The Exact Location is the grassy meadow on the South Side of Stow Lake. Look for Brightly colored tape tied around trunks of the trees. If you get to the Boathouse, walk Counter-Clockwise around the lake. There will be innocuous pie plate signs to direct you. I’ll be there at 11:30. UNITS will be divided into Two Teams with different strategic approaches.
Check out the SATELLITE FOOTAGE
STEALTH TEAM:
Qualifying members will not be recognizable by The Target. Either because they have never met him, or can sufficiently disguise themselves. Unknowns will pretend to be picnicking in the meadow or otherwise enjoying themselves until signaled by whistle to attack. Units must be able to conceal their weaponry, water balloons inside picnic baskets, squirt guns etc.
STRIKE TEAM:
All other UNITS who would be easily recognized by TARGET, including myself, will hide at secure locations until the attack. Relying on text messaging for coordination, STRIKE TEAM will hide in secure locations until signaled by whistle and then proceed to attack
SPECIAL AGENTS NEEDED:
I need a few people to volunteer to take pictures, I will bring an outdated video camera. Someone with a car would be helpful in this role.
BATTLE PLAN:
At approximately 1300 (that’s 1:00PM) TARGET and THE MOLE will enter field and proceed to PICNIC.
GENERAL KELLY (that’s me!) will approach TARGET and THE MOLE and engage in small talk while STRIKE TEAM gets into position. When GENERAL KELLY blows the whistle, ALL UNITS ATTACK until TARGET is drenched.
IF YOU COME LATE
Act Casual and head to the TOP OF THE HILL in the center of Stow Lake.
WHAT TO BRING:
Squirt Guns
Water Balloons
Bottled Water
Picnic Blankets
Something you would normally take to the park to entertain yourself.
Beverages
Snacks
Disguises
Cell Phone
Camera
Towel
Battle Gear: Creativity is Encouraged. Luchador Masks, Spiked Helmets and Clown Shoes, whatever you want.
WEATHER is expected to be sunny but cool. Bring a Layer.
STAY AFTER the attack for REFRESHEMENTS and hearty backslaps.
QUESTIONS: Feel free to call the GENERAL at 415.xxx.xxxx
When things went sour Saturday Morning, I issued this bulletin:
Because the San Francisco Marathon just happens to be tomorrow, I'm changing the location at the last minute. Please stay tuned. New information to be released tonight.
"Every battle takes place at night, in the rain, where the corners of four maps meet. "
I don't know who said that but it is appropriate.
General Josh
Then, the night before the attack, I sent everyone this update:
ALLCON BULLITIN: SUNNY SUNDAY ARMY
This will be the last bulletin before operations commence tomorrow. Please forward this to any interested parties. And please call me if you have any questions 415-xxx-xxxx
WHEN: Sunday, 12:00 NOON
LOCATION:
A field in Golden Gate Park Right were HIGHWAY 1 (aka 19th Ave.) meets MARTIN LUTHER KING DRIVE. Just north of MLK drive and East of Highway 1. It is South of Stow Lake, next to a CHILDREN’S PLAYGROUND.
See the Recon Photo
And look for this landmark:
THE TARGET
Target is 6’ 2” about 220lbs. this later proved to be a generous estimate He will be in the company of THE MOLE. Our agent is not to be harmed in any way.
GENERAL JOSH (me) will be at the location at 11:30 wearing a BLACK ARMY JACKET with a bright Slash Zero on the back, he might also have a SF0 Flag if he can get it together in time. Look for bright blue crepe paper hanging from the trees. Come meet me for the briefing at 12:00 NOON.
Some weaponry will be provided.
SGT PRANK MONKEY has offered to carpool with anyone, he lives in the Lower Haight, contact him for coordination.
Attack begins around 13:00, if you come late and miss the briefing, conceal your weapons, come to the playground, keep your distance from the target and act casual. Wait for the whistle to attack.
Weather will be Sunny but cool.
The San Francisco Marathon will be in the park at this time, but not on the street we are on. I do not know how this will affect traffic but I suggest planning some time to find a parking space or biking.
Bring whatever wacky friends you want, stay for snacks, drinks and chuckles.
No plan is foolproof, be prepared to improvise. Call me with any questions, need for directions, anything. 415-xxx-xxxx
General Josh
When more then 20 people showed up for this charming little war, I knew my time spent as Gereral Josh was well worth it.
16 vote(s)
21
SNORLAX
21ambitron indifornian
21Orion
21Britt ++
21Ink Tea
21Cameron
21Erik Ogan
21mock piratey turtle
21Cunning Linguist
21W F
21Jason
21ananas
21star5
21r0ck c4ndy
21anna one
5Blue
Favorite of:
Terms
(none yet)6 comment(s)
posted by Ink Tea on August 2nd, 2006 11:51 AM
an army of shambling hippies throwing organic tofu wasn’t what I wanted.
Oh, but now that's what I want.
posted by W F on August 2nd, 2006 1:00 PM
So I decided to contact anyone close enough to San Francisco who would be interested. I spammed all the new players and any player with 100+ points who had signed on in the last month.
Damn, even though I meet the above criteria, somehow you missed me - would have loved to join ya.
In any case, a vote for a very well executed attack.
posted by Erik Ogan on August 2nd, 2006 1:30 PM
This was a very well planned and executed op. From the satellite recon before down to the very well documented execution. While it may not stick to the letter of the task description, it definitely whole hoggedly embraces its essence! Very well done! (And much mirth & merriment was had!)
Re: Trouble
you're missing a closing double quote on the link to "THE TARGET" in the final update above. It's causing (in Firefox anyway) text to go missing and a bold tag to remain open.
posted by Cunning Linguist on August 2nd, 2006 2:26 PM
Seriously... very well done. Your efforts reflect your sentiments about Mr. Suey. It's kinda heartwarming. =]
posted by Joshua Kelly on August 2nd, 2006 3:00 PM
It was like a little poem to my old friend.
Also, with Cam's prominance in the game I knew I'd get a lot of people eager to take him down. In a friendly way of course.
People asked if this was a player killing area before we began.
having problems with editing this, more information will appear later.
Not that it's really important.