I know it's a little cliché at this point to throw out tech support stories, and yet this is my job, so here it goes:

Client: I need a new 21" flat panel monitor.
Me: Sure, but you need to get partner approval for that purchase.
Client: No. I want I.T. to buy it for me without charging my Business Unit.
Me: And why is that?
Client: because I'm squinting at the laptop screen and it's giving me wrinkles.
Me:...
Me: I can show you how to make the fonts and icons bigger.
Client: No I want a bigger monitor.
Me: ...
Me: OK, just have HR come in and do an ergonomics assessment and we can get that screen for you.
Client: Does ergonomics cover wrinkles?
Me: I'm not sure that's an actual sentence.

Client calling on phone having conversation with co-tech
Client: I spilled a little bit of soda on my laptop keyboard
co-tech: that's not too much of a problem. you can keep working and if you find your keys are too sticky, we can replace the keyboard for you.
Client: my machine doesn't work at all now.
co-tech: how much soda did you spill?
Client: only a drop or two.
co-tech: well that shouldn't really be enough to short out your laptop.
Client: it kept working until i rinsed it off under the kitchen faucet.

And we have a few instant messaging programs available to use which client neglect to turn off before bringing there machine to the tech room for fixing.

Message box appears: I saw you looking at my butt on the elevator today.
Message gets responded to with: hi, this is I.T. and the married partner has dropped off his machine today for a software install. Please message him again later.

I fixed a difficult issue with a partner who said to me “you did a great job and i have to go to a meeting, go ahead and type up an email to your boss from my computer saying what a good job you did.”
I got my highest annual rating that year.