In an effort to find my "scuba-ninja" look, I pulled on a neoprene head thing. It was very difficult to remove. I abandoned the notion that I needed a "scuba-ninja" look.

I tried a few phrases at Babel Fish. I started with a humble little quote from Socrates, but some how a number "4" popped up in the translation and screwed everything up. A song lyric by Roy Orbison was too long and the fish didn't want to tran...