Dear Sense of Human Decency,

Where have you been? It’s been so long. We’ve missed you. We haven’t heard from you in about six years now and, to be honest, we’re beginning to feel like we’ve lost you. Rumor had it that you were spotted at a protest in Kiev somewhere--Independence Square or some such thing--a couple of years ago, but we lost track of you soon after that. Who knows where you are now.

Just so you know, I looked everywhere for you when you left--at school, at church, at the University, even in the bookstores (because you used to like to hang out there)--but I couldn’t find you. I just gave up. I’m sorry I did that, but what else could I do? I was so exhausted; so tired of searching.

Mom is letting our cousin, Blatant Corruption, stay in your room now. It really sucks. He smells bad and always threatens to kick my ass. He’s sleeping in your bed, too. I feel like that’s wrong, just so you know. If you care. Because, well, I said that I gave up, but really I haven’t. I can’t. I hope you get this letter. I’m not even sure where to send it yet,


Love,
Me