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Sean Tabs
Level 1: 10 points
Alltime Score: 915 points
Last Logged In: February 9th, 2010


retired

15 points

Microfiction by Sean Tabs

August 4th, 2007 3:13 PM

INSTRUCTIONS: Write a very short piece of fiction. It should be less than 200 words. Post the piece as your proof, and send it to one other player.

I wrote this this morning. I wanted to write a story, but I couldn't write in long elaborate sentences any more. I just wanted to get my thoughts out. I hope you guys enjoy it.

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"Jane finds Ik"

Ik flies home. Ik is broke. Airport is big. Ik is stranded. Ik calls Jane. “Come get me…?” Ik surprises Jane. Jane’s at work. Jane leaves work. Boss comes yelling. Jane speeds out. Jane feels good. Jane drives fast. Jane laughs out. Boss fires Jane.

Ik sits waiting. Ik loved K. K left Ik. K slept around. Ik found out.

Jane misses Ik. Now she knows. Jane has Bob. Bob loves Jane. Jane cares less.

Ik sees Jane. Ik catches words. People talks loudly. Ik stands up. He says something, “You lost weight.” Jane just smiles. “Just get in.” Ik tosses bags. Ik closes door. “Something wrong?” asks Jane softly. Ik says “Everything.”
“One whole year…”
“In France, wasted.”
Ik lights cig. Jane asks why.
“When’d that start?”
“Leave me alone.”
Ik crouches away. Jane drives faster.

Bob calls Jane. Jane says hi. Jane makes excuse. Ik and Jane get home. Ik climbs stairs. Jane opens door. They stumble in. Ik falls on couch. Jane washes face. Jane checks Ik. Jane sits down. Jane removes shoes. Jane touches Ik. Ik opens eyes. Ik eyes Jane. Ik catches words. “Thank you Jane.”Ik grabs hand. Ik kisses hand. Ik feels found.


- smaller

CIMG2131.JPG

CIMG2131.JPG

Missed connections...



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3 comment(s)

Nicely done, Sean.
posted by Loki on August 5th, 2007 3:54 PM

I like the 3-word sentences. It gives the piece a nice rhythm, and compliments the micro-fiction theme nicely.

I'll attest that you sent me a copy of the story independently, fulfilling the task requirement that it be sent to another player.

Sorry, but...
posted by Ink Tea on August 6th, 2007 6:22 AM

It's longer than 199 words. Cut short your short words?

(no subject)
posted by Ink Tea on August 7th, 2007 4:12 PM

Good job! Thank you.