Household evolution by Trickster Tao
September 15th, 2007 7:35 PMCOSMOGONY OF A CHESS BOARD
A naive observer, looking upon a chess board, would marvel at its elegant organization. That observer might even claim that the organization found in this board is irreducibly complex. But that observer would be an ass-hat, because frankly it is obvious that the chess board's current form can be explained by the elegant mechanism of natural selection.
Come examine the chesseological record with me.
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Can we really explain something this perfect as a product of randomness? Probably not. But natural selection is not random. Let's investigate the mechanism behind chessvolution.
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Era 1: Plane and Simple... In the beginning, the world was bare and empty.
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Era 2: Abiogenesis... Out of the swirling chaos of chance, life arose.
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Era 3: Asexual Reproduction... Life begets life, in its own image.
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Era 4: The Sexual Revolution... A couple individuals sneak off together and get their groove on. The age of sexual reproduction is upon us.
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Era 5: Mutant X-ChessMen... Mutation rears its bueatiful head. We find heritable population variation.
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Era 6: Spreading Like Zombies... Some adaptations are more successful than others, and reproduce more successfully.
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Era 7: Survival of the Tallest... Small mutations accrue over time into large phenotypic changes. Those who are short become snacks to the Almighty Tallest.
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Era 8: Chessambrian Explosion... Paleochesseological record shows sudden increase in diversity of forms in the environment. Some stay small and procreate quickly. Some are aerodynamic and can move fast. Some can jump, to pounce on prey or dodge attackers. Some grow taller than ever, trading off reduced mobility for maximum height. A fearsome predator, the queen of the jungle, appears on the scene.
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Era 9: Equilibrium... Different branches of the phylogenetic tree find their niche. The smallest creatures survive by numerosity while the larger creatures survive by cooperation and symbiosis with others in their territory (for increased efficiency when hunting in neighboring territories).
22 vote(s)
Lank
5
anna one
5
Malaysian Eddy
5
Burn Unit
5
The Vixen
5
The Villain
5
K!
5
avidd opolis
5
Ben Yamiin
5
Scarlett
5
YellowBear
5
Jellybean of Thark
5
Bex.
5
Geronimo
5
Ohrlyeh Totenkinder
5
IntermezzoBeard
5
Charlie Fish
5
Pizazz
5
susy derkins
5
help im a bear
5
teucer
5
adam.
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Looks like we may have the makings of another strong EquivalenZ player!
Edumacation Vote!
Though i would attribute the segregation by color at the point of equilibrium to social forces.
Who's the ass hat who left out the development of Chess civilization? I want to know what happened between steps 8 and 9! That must've been some crazy shit; I mean, why are there no black-white hybrids? Heavy stuff.
Welcome, fellow EquivalenZ player...
Interesting take on this task! (And the Zim reference seals the vote.)