Now that I've seen some praxii for this task, I may finally understand it. So here it goes.


DeathNote
I read this manga and was totally hooked. I was completely drawn into the story and experienced many dark sensations. I prefer not to remember DeathNote and quickly change the subject whenever it's brought up in conversations. I turn my head if I see someone approaching with DeathNote apparel. At an anime convention I went to this past year, some booths in the dealer's room were particularly painful to me. But when I do choose to go back and remember, I sit still and close my eyes in the dark. I feel hollow, starting my my heart and extending out into my arms. My head feels heavy and my eyes get this peculiar sensation, reminding me of crying but completely dry. The images I see are ones from the manga, but also dark swirling colours. The emotion I feel is similar laying in a bed of glass shards, and trying to eat them as well. A whole feeling of hurt, but not sharp- as one would expect of glass- it feels more like aching or throbbing.

Love
I'd had crushes before, mostly on fictional people (still do), but it's never been returned until recently. Love that's returned in the most wonderful feeling in the world. I feel this tingly feeling in my upper stomach, where my natural waist is, and just below the ribcage, in the front. I have warm feeling, from my head over the tops of my arms to the backs of my palms. I liken the feeling to sunshine and summer flowers blooming inside of me. Lots of smiles all around, and everything bad totally disappears. Hearing him say "I love you" makes those flowers of summer give forth way more petals than flowers are capable of giving and all the wonderful things, golden rays of sunshine personified in little specks of glitter dancing on the warm summer breeze and little forest creatures straight out of Bambi, sing out in a wordless song - simply belting out ineffable joy. Seeing him and talking with him, just being with him, my heart swells and seems to break open - pouring out all the unrequited feelings of my entire life, turning the feeling into simply more love for him. The feelings flow slowly, like honey, through the bones in my arms and becomes in ever increasing degrees magnetized towards him till I have no choice but to direly need to throw my arms around him and hold him very, very close.

Marc Antony (Character in the play "Julius Caesar" by William Shakespeare, not the actual person)
Although I dearly adore Julius Caesar, Marc Antony, Marcus Brutus, and Octavian Caesar as actual people and have great feelings for them, I will explain my feelings on Marc Antony's character in the aforementioned play. He is so innocent and lovable in the first half, I imagine him to be a Chocolate Labrador puppy. A soft fur coat in a soft colour, he is eager to please and his filled with love. He faithfully follows his master and is fiercely loyal. The colour I think of when I read his lines from the first half of the play are the same from the Chocolate Lab I imagine him to be; a chocolaty brown you seem to drown in, so rich in colour. The words that immediately come to mind, are pure and childish; innocent. But after Caesar's death I truly feel that the Antony I knew from before died with Caesar. Antony no longer seems to be alive, to have human spirit; a soul. He could be described as like an automaton. His only reason for living is death. Death, where it once might have seemed like a big thing, just seems like something normal- like sending a postcard. And Antony now seems like a mailman as he more and more feels the ache for revenge. I see in my mind's eye the kind light-yellow soul of Antony floating off with Caesar to a better place, and Antony's empty body going over to the dark side, where the nice brown is infected and turned to a terrible black. It is like he is hiding himself away from the world in dark, dripping caverns that are slimy and rank. He sits in the corner of one and pays no heed to the worsening state of his clothes, and instead plunges his mind into memories of Caesar, whom he loved.

My adventures doing the task "Trespassing" (Not yet submitted), and "Marry Me" bye Emilie Autumn
While writing the praxis of this task I listen to the song "Marry Me" by Emilie Autumn. Listening to this song, after listening to it so much and thinking of my Trespassing adventures, it conjures up the general feeling that I have for those memories. The colour that I think of is a dark forest green, a green that has a bite to it- one that is similar to waking up in the cold morning mountain air while camping. Emerged in my memories at first I feel no body reaction, because I seldom do for memories of events or places. But as I dig myself deeper into the memory of that place, a process I compare to fruitlessly trying to cover yourself with gravel, I do feel small reactions in some of my limbs. The inside of my wrists seem to offset in a loud low beat, like in the that one episode of Naruto where he summons that giant frog at the bottom of that chasm- he lands on the frog and the outline of the frog is flung out to the viewer. It's not just an outline though, it's like a ghost image of my skin pumps out repeatedly, as if to the beat of some bass notes. I assume I get this feeling because when remembering or listening to this song, my body recalls all the typing I did in relation to it. Another body reaction I feel, also very faintly, is in my legs. I can't pinpoint it exactly, it's like my legs demand to be included- but don't care where. I suppose this is because of the walking, crawling, and climbing I did during the task. The emotion I feel is like the ends of many-pointed leaves in the deep forest green. They aren't simply there though, they are tightly rolled and scrunched together. The texture isn't like the look, it is like small seeds strung together like a beaded bracelet. I imagine these things to be circular ropes, small, running in my veins on the inside of my wrist (where the offset is going on) and the tops of my feet and behind my legs. In my legs the feeling of these things is strongest in the vein at the back of my ankle and get less as it gets higher, nearly disappearing past my knee. Smell-wise it is like a tiny, dusty and well-lite room in an old house. The air is compact and although the dust is thick and flowing through my nose, I don't feel the effects and instead breath deeply- smelling something faintly of old people and old wood. One more image I see is a small rushing river, a deep blue, where my friends and I seem to be flailing and splashing about. I have no explanation for this except that instead of feeling body reactions I have a mental picture that might have nothing to do with the event or place I am remembering.

Flagstaff, Arizona
When I think of 'qualia' (although I never knew the word before, I often pondered the concept) the first thing I think of is my trip to Flagstaff, Arizona. This is the first big instance when I realized the existence of 'qualia'. At the time I was reading the book "The Thief Lord" by Corneilia Funke and listening to the No Doubt CD "Rock Steady". These three things, the CD - the book - and the trip, are inseparable things. They are ingrained as a set, tied together with the thickest of strings. I can no longer read the book for fear of imprinting a new qualia on the book (which can happen if something is experienced too much. Try saying the word 'bubblegum' over and over again, after a while it loses it's meaning right?). The CD I listen to only to immerse myself into Flagstaff, it's quaint little shops and streets; the wonderful hot chocolate I'd pour into countless mugs - taking them away to my hotel room where I could enjoy them at any time of the night when the hot chocolate machine was shut off; the image I have in my head of the University as viewed from the hotel right across the way; and "The Thief Lord". The themes of the songs all parallel to the book.

Hella Good:
"Waves keep on crashing on me for some reason" As many characters in books, bad thigns happen one after another. "
Just keep on dancing" This line gives off the feeling like you're spinning like a top, but if you stop you'll fall- the feeling of being out of control, the climax of the book is very much like this. T
"So don't wake me if I'm dreaming" The book does have magical qualities and the mystic city of Venice emanates this.
The song as a whole is mostly the climax for me, when things are wildly falling apart and running out of control. It also makes me think of how the characters make the best out of their bad homeless situation.

Making out:
" I'm on the second floor with a lock on my door" The feeling of being trapped, in bad situations- by your family - the many different things the characters are trapped in.
" I'm looking at a picture of your face - The last time I looked you were looking really good - But somehow pictures fade" The overall feeling this makes me remember about the book is that all things must end, it's impossible to change something that has happened, how everything will be forgotten.
" I go around the world to see your face" The boys in the book go to Venice to recall their dead mother, who always told them stories about the city on the water. This further illustrates things already past.
" I'm counting the days" The inevitability of the passing of time, a large theme in the book.
" Sip my morning tea but you're not next to me" A desolate alone feeling, Alone like feeling like you can't trust anyone
" When our favorite music plays" Remembering the past, living in memories
" But that just ain't good enough" A feeling of nothingness, will anything ever work out?
" Soon you'll be here with me" This line, similar to others in the song, is like the sad anticipation of something you hope to happen. In the book it it like wishing for a better tomorrow
" I'm with my friends 'till the night ends" True to the letter, a book that lives in the night- circling around a group of friends
The feeling I get from this song as a whole is the idea of being totally alone, but remembering when things were good and wishing desperately for things to be like that again

Detective:
" peek in, sneak about" As a book titled "The Thief Lord" You can imagine there is a lot of sneaking about, the actual thief lord in the book is a character not to be trusted
" hey girl save the liar - can't you see his pants on fire" There is only one girl in the book and hearing this line I think of her and the time she tricks the detective. This scene in the book doesn't match the lines exactly, but thats what it makes me think of
" my back it hurts again - it aches like history" This line makes me sad and causes me to remember all the bad things in the book, the tiredness of age and passing of time
" I feel you must have failed me - once again you've let me down" One of the character is discovered to be a lier and the group is shocked
" I'm gonna snoop and call you out - I've caught you, you're hands are red - Now I'm your broken hearted detective" The chorus of the song, theme of suspicion and distrust, the investigation of the detective
" Hey lover why the gun? - Hold on I'm almost there" The following line goes on to say 'it's too late' - uselessness of trying to stop the bad things - only being able to watch them approach
" Do you realize what you've done? - you can't bring it back to life now" You cannot changed what has happened, it's a terrible thing that has happened, basically what it says - what have you done?!
" I don't like the way it feels - I just want you to be real" The desperate feeling of wanting something to not be true - for it to just not be true - wanting to believe the best of people
" I'm rummaging through your closet - Imagining all the worst thoughts" This line and the chorus are the two parts that really stuck with me, the very moment when you find out the horrible truth
The song as a whole gives me the feeling of when the characters find out about a friend of theirs and the events leading up to that.

Don't Let Me Down:
The entire song gives me the same feeling. For me it seems to follow right after 'Detective', in the book the place this song belongs is in the resolution. It seems like the characters are trying to move on and forget the bad things of the past, also in the book it's like a plea for things not to go wrong.

Start The Fire:
" C'mon baby get the lighter - We're gonna start the fire" A call to action, trying to fix the bad things
" I missed you in my sleep - Are you still mad at me? " Mistakes asking to be forgiven, the feeling from the character who lied
The feeling I get from this song is when directly after something bad happens - when you clammor to try and make it unhappen

Running:
" Running all the time - Running to the future" The feeling of just running until you die, there was a good YouTube animation like this
" I'm so sorry that I've fallen - Help me up lets keep on running" Something bad has happened, but you just can't stop
" Running, running - As fast as we can - Do you think we'll make it?" Although you can run, it'll never happen
" Keep holding my hand - It's so we don't get separated" The two mainest charcters, two brothers, love and support each other. If they were to separate - this feeling of aloneness is in this line
" Be the one I need - Be the one I trust most" Trying to change what someone is
" Don't let me fall out of love" The worst feeling of all, knowing that you can't even control you very person
This song gives me the saddest feeling of all, I've mentioned before that a theme of the book was time passing and inevitability etc. - this song seems to concentrate that theme. It reminds me of how the characters can't stop the flow of events.

In My Head:
" I try to think about rainbows - When it gets bad" Attempt to ignore the bad things
" Don't talk about your past" As I said before, the past and memories play a role in the story
" I really think I have a problem - I really can't control myself " Running out of control, losing your grasp on what happens around you
"Why do I get so suspicious? " Is there really any one you can trust? Betrayal
" It's only in my head" Wanting to believe something isn't happening, that the person is who they say they are
The feeling I get from this song is not as intense as the other ones, in fact it's very slight - But it's still there and the mood is trying to imagine that the bad things aren't happening

Platinum Blonde Life:
"
There's a knock on my door - But I'm not gonna open it" Afraid to discover, fear of the unknown
"
I feel it's empty as a widow - I'm gonna sleep it all away" The feeling of giving up
"
But who's fooling who " Everyone lies
The song is like acception of everything, finally realizing the horrible truth and just not caring anymore.

Rock Steady:
"Our love is rock steady - Rock steady, rock steady" Feeling of security from a while ago
This song is slight in terms of theme, but it does remind me of all good times the characters have.All the good memories and good times before things crash down.

I don't mean to say that's what the lines actually mean, it's the feelings they give me in terms of the book. I tend to point out similarities in theme between the book I'm reading and the music I'm listening to at the time. I tried to stay away from spoilers. I also tried to sum up at the bottom of each song what parts of the book the songs made me think of. The reason I did all that was because I was trying to convey how listening to the CD gave me the qualia of reading the book, and vice versa. Both things give me the qualia of stay in Flagstaff.

When listening to the CD and reading the book both I recall the feeling of Flagstaff. Like I said before, listening to the CD will cause me to remember not only the book - but also memories from Arizona. The image, like I said before, is the sight of the University. An expanse of grass grows between the hotel and the U, and I believe there was also a road. I don't see the road, or the parking lot which is also there. I see the hotel on the right side of my vision, then the grass, then the U taking up the rest of the image, and the sky at the top with a few wisps of clouds. Another image I have is of one of the streets. It's an outside view of the bead shop, or what I remember to be the bead shop. There's beads in the window and it's taken from this angle, from the left. A street with cars is in front of the sidewalk. A hanging sign is above the door. i doubt it actually looked anything like this, I think my brain is just filling in gaps - but these are the two images I have from the town (the town, not the whole trip) The feeling is the warmth of the sun, but not shiny or hot - just the feeling of warmth. Not on my skin or anything, but not inside me either. It's more like a mental experience, like thinking about warmth. The warmth is not yellow like the sun, but a brown, a light brown; like dirt or desert dust. In my mind's eye it's like soil that has been warmed up, nice rich soil that plants can grow in that's been heated by the sun. When I think of Flagstaff It's like feeling this warm soil and holding it against my skin. I like to imagine that I can still taste the hot chocolate. I can't, but my mouth feels happy.

////////////// Some Notes ///////////////

When I first read about qualia (after I trudged my way through endless Wiki pages, understanding nothing! My father helped me out a bit though, and gave me courage to try this task) I realized "This is it!". I've known about it a while, as I've said before, but could never properly explain it. All my dealings were in books and music, however. I remember how I mostly listened to this one CD in Europe, to insure that whenever I listened to it again that I could transport myself back across the ocean. I advised my friends to smell a particular scent, like cinnamon or mint, while studying for a test and then smell it again when taking the test. Although only one friend ever tried it, she reported good results. So none of my quilaia has ever been qualia for the sake of qualia. It was nice to step back and take a look at how I experience things; I really liked it. I can probably look forwards to experiencing things with more colour in the future.

It says media as well, but I'm having trouble uploading a sound file. I hope everyone is okay with just text!