Seeing as how I just finished voting on draft resolutions for drug trafficking and health epidemics, all I have to do is justify that it was in the wild.


Okay, background info. For the past three days I have been at Model United Nations, representing Costa Rica in the committee SOCHUM. Only western business attire allowed. Sounds fancy-shmancy, and believe me it WAS. But after listening to people debate incredibly dry material you better infer things got a little wild eventually.

For instance, on the last day countries sent up to the dais notes which congratulated other countries for whatever. Here are some of the, as they called them, superlatives.
Most Korean: Japan
Most sexy male delegate: Holy See
Most attractive: Holy See
Hottest country: Holy See
Steamiest Couple: Spain
Cutest Couple: Spain
Best Speech: Kazakhstan
Best Speech Voice: Dominican Republic
Best Country To Call In A Medical Emergency: Democratic Republic Of The Congo
Best Hair: Poland
Best Dressed: Zimbabwe
Most Likely To Get Charged With Possession: Zimbabwe
(There were many more not listed here)

The very first day, although I was not there, there was karaoke. They must have been totally jamming.

On one of the nights there was a dance. And everyone was getting down!

And, of course, there were many notes which clearly proved the wildness of the delegates. Costa Rica and Estonia in particular had many interesting conversations together. And who could for get the infamous Kazakhstan, better known as 'K-Stan'.
But first a conversation between Costa Rica and Estonia. The list is the speaker's list, which countries put their name on to say something.

Costa Rica: We see your name on the list. Are you preparing a speech? We will be sure to listen.
Estonia: No, we actually just put our name on the list so we would look silly.
Costa Rica: Costa Rica endorses the need to look silly and applauds the use of public humiliation as a path to attention. It further more urges continued progress in this area.
Estonia: AHH This explains a lot.

And another.

Costa Rica:How is your paper coming along?
Estonia: Just fabulous! Haha well we don't actually have a paper anymore. We decided to side with India. And be signatories.

A third. For this one one of the delegates from Estonia nicely gave us a honey and nut bar because we were hungry, but then the other delegate said "Haha, now we own you!"

Costa Rica: Are we to understand that your kind gesture was in reality a trap?
Estonia:Your instinct was correct. The food item was intended to be a bribe.
Costa Rica: We don't want your blood money food!
Estonia: He is just being annoying, you can have it at no cost.

One more. This one references the three Starbuck's frappuccinos I drank in the period of 15 minutes.

Costa Rica: I feel so weird. I think I'm dieing.
Estonia: No! Don't die!
Costa Rica: I guess I won't die, but I can't explain this sensation. It's indescribable.
Estonia: Haha good, well the caffeine is the most likely cause! Haha.
Costa Rica: I will never ever do that again!

A correspondent particularly wild is the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Better known as DR Congo. Get the medical thing now? Now they were devious. First they sent me a picture (which I don't have) of a figure with hearts on their cheeks under a tree with text stating that I was a love child. Just because I was born on Valentine's day it doesn't mean I'm a love child! Anyway I send them a reply that I'm not, and then it goes on like this:

Costa Rica: Costa Rica is fully aware of the consequences of sending your previous note up to the dais.
DR Congo: The delegates of the Democratic Republic of the Congo, noting your note, wonder if they should inform Kuwait of a certain missing ... object
Costa Rica: Costa Rica withdraws at the hostility shown by the delegates of the Democratic Republic of the Congo.
DR Congo: DR Congo considers your decision to be a wise one considering your situation. We advise you remember your place in the UN.

Blackmail! They refer, of course, to the pen which I stole from Kuwait. Other notes also include:

Due to recent appalling conduct in the relations between the Democratic Republic of the Congo and Costa Rica the Democratic Republic of the Congo will have to end all relations with Costa Rica - voiding all alliances, ending all communication. Costa Rica hereafter and forever more shall not be recognized as a country, state, or any other form of organization. Best Wishes, DR Congo

We received this after I physically attacked her. We both held each other's paper captive. I held her Model United Nations issued note pad for ransom, and she stole my note cards. Don't worry though, she did forgive me a little. This was a later letter:

Costa Rica wishes to fully express regret at your changing seat. However now there will be more communication because it is easier to send notes from farther away. But ... T_T Costa Rica

To which the reply was: Are you bipolar? But more about the pen which I stole. I made the mistake of telling DR Congo about it, we had a good laugh and I felt genially happy about making some new friends. The next day however proved me wrong. My new nickname, apparently, was 'klepto'. For a few moments I was confused at the meaning of the word. But as they extended it, to kleptomaniac, I understood what they meant. I've obsessed over that for nearly a week now, and I'm wondering if they're right.

On the matter of taking, in the lobby of the hotel being used, there was a giant sideways Model United Nations flag. On the last day it was stolen. They got it back, but our page privileges were provoked.

So:
Stealing
Blackmail
Ransom
Assault
Sarcasm
Bribes
Overdose
Infiltrate and Undermine
Breaking it Down and Jamming

Is that wild enough for ya'?