Ah, Ikea. Fine(ish) furniture at affordable prices. Selling coffee tables to college kids, and desks to divorced men.
Alice: And dining options to the wacky and esoteric.


The Menu
Course One:
Tuna croquettes served with a light romaine salad.
Sardonicus did the cooking and may I say, yummy!

Second Course:
Strawberries served with whipped cream-style topping.
The Setup

Entering after a grueling journey to pick up Hoiley, (due to my lack of forethought and poor communication) we swiftly proceeded to the dining section. He truly is a horrid planner, any and all collaboration plans in the future will not left to him, not without extensive supervision. We love him anyway.


Navigating the labyrinthine confines of the store was no easy task, and after being lost for a while, we finally stumbled upon the dining room section. At one point we wandered through a living room covered in bamboo and emerged into an orange bedroom... I was so confused.

Naturally, we wanted the best table for our meal, so we set to selecting. The fact that we looked like we were shopping didn't hurt our cover.


No.

No.
No.
And then finally a winner! It was a lovely wood table with matching wicker chairs. The girls set to setting up, while I took pictures.
Now, we knew that inevitably someone would come to inquire as to our purpose in spreading a tablecloth and dishes all over their displays, but I personally didn't expect what was to come.Of course we might have known we'd be quickly caught if any of us had noticed the cleverly concealed customer service station less than three feet from our perfect table.


Lisa, the first to find us, seemed rather amiable towards our goal, but as an employee of a major corporation, she was obligated to check with her supervisors. I liked Lisa, she called us in as a "Picnic Party" I appreciated that. Eventually, after a few phone calls, we got one of the managers over.


(This picture officially approved by the IKEA PR dept. I am not making this up. He actually called down to the PR dept. to check if we could take his picture. A big thank you to the Ikea PR department for allowing us to photograph Craig.)

Craig seemed rather bewildered at first, so we explained our purpose as best as we could, as well as SF0, which kind of confused him even more. Eventually, after a bit of hassle, he kindly and politely instructed us to eat in the approved food court area. Not wishing to cause a fuss, we did.Had the Ikea staff been less understanding and kind I night have argued it, but they were exceedingly polite and treated us with respect, so we left quietly and completed our mission in another sense.

The Setup (Part II: Revenge of the Return of the Setup)
Arriving in the food court, we unpacked and tried again. Only this time, we actually got the food out of the cooler!

We ate the food. Not much to say about that. I personally think it was pretty good, but I made it, so... yeah.The food was delicious but what was more delicious were the bewildered reactions of the rest of the food court patrons. The room went oddly quiet when they realized that I was pulling dishes out a bag. The whispers continued through the dishing up of the first course but subsided as we began to eat. We weren't making a big deal and the patrons eventually began to take us in stride.

Oh, and candle.A vital component of our Candlelit dinner.

Props go to Eidhnean, our unofficial contributor who, although she didn't eat with us (wanting "plausible deniability" or such nonsense), still drove us out of the kindness of her heart. Less than threes to her. A standing ovation to our glorious getaway driver.