I stumbled upon an old friend's information in the phone book. Last I heard of him he was living in another state so I was surprised to find a recent local listing.

On one of the nights I couldn't sleep, I composed this poorly written letter to him. I put it in the mailbox today.

---

[Name Removed],
It's been a few years. We've aged quite a bit and our worlds have gotten a bit bigger. I know the question of my motivations will be in your head so I'll get to the point- I'm writing because I've been in a place very similar to when I last saw you. There have been family things, work things, relationship things, personal things- my trust in my little world fractured. I can't help but feel as young and small as I did those years ago. It's all too similar, just larger.

I was surprised to find you in my way as I tried to run from it all. I didn't ask you to but there you were, pulling me back. Horrible clichés aside, you showed me how to be light again. I've spent many nights these past few weeks struggling to remember what it is you did or what was said that suddenly made the night not so dark but I can't. I just remember everything coming back into focus and seeing you. This is different from then, though. I know this is another one of those life things I need to face. I'm not that hollow little girl.

I'm not asking you to come and rescue me. I'm just letting you know what you meant to me back then and that you've been in my thoughts. I don't need to understand why we haven't spoken in so long. I'm not giving you or asking for any kind of apology or forgiveness. This just is what it is.

I'd like to have another conversation with you, even if it means never speaking to you again.
Celina
[[contact information removed]]