25 + 5 points
thirteen writing prompts by your face
May 31st, 2006 12:43 PM
1. There are animals that exist in our past and we can choose which ones we care to remember and which to forget, but there will never be any question as to the influence of former personal relationships as we have been affected by our interactions and we will never be able to walk away from that.
2. I woke up on my stomach at a time I later found out to be several hours after everyone else had left. The trees had lost most of their leaves in the time that I was out and the animals had lost their inhibitions and were starting to gather around my seemingly lifeless body. I can remember a large body of water being very close to the group at the onset of my predicament, but upon waking it was nowhere to be found.
3. I believe that I can honestly say that few people would acknowledge, while most must believe, that it was not Abraham Lincoln that changed the face of American culture, but it was the imp living behind his right ear. Yes, you heard correct, an imp from Delaware did in fact guide Abraham Lincoln to his successes. I know that most have heard this story before, but I think it is important to retell the most important piece. This imp was not accustomed to living behind a person’s ear as most others were, but rather this imp enjoyed the quiet confines of a man’s beard, hence the imp’s natural attraction to Abraham Lincoln. The reason I bring this up is because it plays a pivotal role in Lincoln’s assassination. Mr. Lincoln had decided early on the morning of April 14th, 1865 that his beard was no place for an imp to rest. Having made that decision Lincoln decided to move the imp to behind his right ear, as the imp would be suitably shaded there for the remainder of the day. Hours passed and Lincoln readied himself for that evenings showing of Our American Cousin. As Lincoln enjoyed the show, no one knew that behind him was the imp’s arch nemesis, J.W.B. As the show went on J.W.B. waited for his opportunity and when it came J.W.B. capitalized. We all know the rest of the story, but I thought it might be important to mention the fact that Lincoln was not the actual target, but his imp was.
4. “I don’t think we can get all of these horse into that barrel John!” exclaimed Debra. “Listen, god-damn it, I told you to shovel sand until I told you to stop! We’ll get the horses in the barrel, just keep shoveling!” John was obviously agitated as he threw a handful of sand at Debra. “You son-of-a-bitch John! I’m leaving” This was obviously the end of their relationship. Debra brushed the sand from her blouse, took a last, wistful look at the now putrefying horse, and stepped into the hot-air balloon.
5. Tarantula Hawks are disgusting.
6. Huckleberry Finn Wins Lottery: This was the headline in the St. Louis newspaper on September 16th, 1885. The important thing to keep in mind though is that ol’ Huck never had any thumbs so you can imagine the difficulty in peeling back the perforated tab on the top of that ticket. Man that kid was amazing.
7. More the one-hundred years later the ancestors of Huckleberry Finn are still reaping the benefits of that amazing win. Just yesterday a man who has been linked to Huck Finn was seen throwing crisp one-hundred dollar bills as he sped through the streets on downtown Minneapolis. Later in the day, a distant relative to Tom Sawyer, the boy who didn’t win the lottery, was arrested for peeing into a tin bucket.
8. SSSSSSSSSSNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!………………..who me!…………ah no sir…………….I was just washing my face…………………………………………………………………..
9. I cannot remember ever being included in someone’s secret ring and frankly I find that to be a bit depressing.
10. One man in a corduroy jacket sitting in an empty warehouse loft that is littered with dust and debris sitting in the corner next to an old record player. The man is sitting against the wall with a decent size pair of headphones on and the whole play, 80 minutes, is this man listening to “Visions of Johanna” over and over and over.
11. A man stands in front of his brother and mysteriously vanishes into thin air. All that is left is a pile of the clothes he was wearing. Understanding the situation to be permanent, the remaining sibling bursts into tears and sobs endlessly at the disappearance of his brother.
12. After wiping away the tears, the man from the story above sorts through the pile a clothes left by his now missing loved one. In it he finds a cigar box with what appears to be his brothers scorched hair. Again the man bursts into tears. Will it ever end?
13. All the way around the world a man wakes to find himself in the Indian Ocean, naked and clinging to a door; a hotel keycard is clenched in his teeth. Realizing his mistake he swipes the keycard through his butt crack and finds himself reunited with his endlessly sobbing brother.
2. I woke up on my stomach at a time I later found out to be several hours after everyone else had left. The trees had lost most of their leaves in the time that I was out and the animals had lost their inhibitions and were starting to gather around my seemingly lifeless body. I can remember a large body of water being very close to the group at the onset of my predicament, but upon waking it was nowhere to be found.
3. I believe that I can honestly say that few people would acknowledge, while most must believe, that it was not Abraham Lincoln that changed the face of American culture, but it was the imp living behind his right ear. Yes, you heard correct, an imp from Delaware did in fact guide Abraham Lincoln to his successes. I know that most have heard this story before, but I think it is important to retell the most important piece. This imp was not accustomed to living behind a person’s ear as most others were, but rather this imp enjoyed the quiet confines of a man’s beard, hence the imp’s natural attraction to Abraham Lincoln. The reason I bring this up is because it plays a pivotal role in Lincoln’s assassination. Mr. Lincoln had decided early on the morning of April 14th, 1865 that his beard was no place for an imp to rest. Having made that decision Lincoln decided to move the imp to behind his right ear, as the imp would be suitably shaded there for the remainder of the day. Hours passed and Lincoln readied himself for that evenings showing of Our American Cousin. As Lincoln enjoyed the show, no one knew that behind him was the imp’s arch nemesis, J.W.B. As the show went on J.W.B. waited for his opportunity and when it came J.W.B. capitalized. We all know the rest of the story, but I thought it might be important to mention the fact that Lincoln was not the actual target, but his imp was.
4. “I don’t think we can get all of these horse into that barrel John!” exclaimed Debra. “Listen, god-damn it, I told you to shovel sand until I told you to stop! We’ll get the horses in the barrel, just keep shoveling!” John was obviously agitated as he threw a handful of sand at Debra. “You son-of-a-bitch John! I’m leaving” This was obviously the end of their relationship. Debra brushed the sand from her blouse, took a last, wistful look at the now putrefying horse, and stepped into the hot-air balloon.
5. Tarantula Hawks are disgusting.
6. Huckleberry Finn Wins Lottery: This was the headline in the St. Louis newspaper on September 16th, 1885. The important thing to keep in mind though is that ol’ Huck never had any thumbs so you can imagine the difficulty in peeling back the perforated tab on the top of that ticket. Man that kid was amazing.
7. More the one-hundred years later the ancestors of Huckleberry Finn are still reaping the benefits of that amazing win. Just yesterday a man who has been linked to Huck Finn was seen throwing crisp one-hundred dollar bills as he sped through the streets on downtown Minneapolis. Later in the day, a distant relative to Tom Sawyer, the boy who didn’t win the lottery, was arrested for peeing into a tin bucket.
8. SSSSSSSSSSNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!………………..who me!…………ah no sir…………….I was just washing my face…………………………………………………………………..
9. I cannot remember ever being included in someone’s secret ring and frankly I find that to be a bit depressing.
10. One man in a corduroy jacket sitting in an empty warehouse loft that is littered with dust and debris sitting in the corner next to an old record player. The man is sitting against the wall with a decent size pair of headphones on and the whole play, 80 minutes, is this man listening to “Visions of Johanna” over and over and over.
11. A man stands in front of his brother and mysteriously vanishes into thin air. All that is left is a pile of the clothes he was wearing. Understanding the situation to be permanent, the remaining sibling bursts into tears and sobs endlessly at the disappearance of his brother.
12. After wiping away the tears, the man from the story above sorts through the pile a clothes left by his now missing loved one. In it he finds a cigar box with what appears to be his brothers scorched hair. Again the man bursts into tears. Will it ever end?
13. All the way around the world a man wakes to find himself in the Indian Ocean, naked and clinging to a door; a hotel keycard is clenched in his teeth. Realizing his mistake he swipes the keycard through his butt crack and finds himself reunited with his endlessly sobbing brother.
