As you may know by now, I'm an individual who is affected by mysterious disappearances and tears in reality (I use the term "reality" loosely). This is why I've been gone the past few days. I was recently transported to a land by the name of "Alazoroth". I was taken away without warning. One morning after I had finished getting prepared for my day, a portal opened right beneath my feet, and I dropped through it, and was hundreds of meters above the ground.

Alazoroth, for all intents and purposes, is a land similar to what we called "the Dark Ages". However, instead of plague and greed, they had magic and dragons!... also plague and greed, but those two things aren't important. It is a land ruled over by a king and a queen, and is, in my opinion, a lovely place to build a villa. If you're into that sort of thing.

Anyway, after I fell from the portal in the sky, I was, predictably sent to a dungeon for being suspicious, and was soon after called by the kind and queen. I stood before the two in shackles, and as a punishment for being the "dark wizard that fell from the sky" (because that makes sense), I was sentenced to slay the dragon to prove my worth.

I have a video to share.

Now you might be saying, "But Zee! That's just a cake! It hardly even looks like a dragon!" Well first of all, rude, I spent two hours on that cake. Secondly, I know it's a cake, you dingus. Do you think they have cameras in Alazoroth? Besides, how would I actually be able to film WHILE fighting a dragon? It's ridiculous that you would imply such a thing. This cake merely REPRESENTS me slaying the dragon. Which I totally did.

*UPDATE*

It's been several weeks since updating this, and I've come to find that I really dislike writing all of this up.

While it is still an undeniable fact that I definitely DID slay that dragon, I find that it doesn't compare to the amazing, fantastic feats I come to complete on a daily basis, and as such, have lost interest in the ordeal entirely. AND SO, INSTEAD, I'VE DECIDED TO ABANDON THAT WRITE UP, AND ADD THE FINAL PIECE OF THE COMPLETION, THE PAINTING OF MY ACCOMPLISHMENT.

I thank you all for your time. Good day.