We met on Friday afternoon, convening at Jordan's house, to say goodbye to a beloved member of society. Jordan's ceramic pear had been smashed by an evil maths teacher. The pear had been a loved member of the group since Storer's birthday, where Jordan and the pear met.

When we got there, we began amassing supplies. Several spades were taken outside, a rake to clear a patch of garden, a hammer, some nails, a cardboard box, some suit jackets and some biscuits for the meal afterwards.

So, first things first. We cleared a patch of garden out the front of the house, and began to dig. Meanwhile others were busy writing tributes to the pear on the box.

We suited up, and after several camera problems, we set off.

Brett and Kieran slowly walked the pear, in it's cardboard coffin of tributes, into the middle of the group, set it carefully down, and retreated.

Neil was the first to speak:

"We are gathered here today, in this front garden, to show respect to a brilliant addition to this world.

It was, a good object.
A kind object.
And a purple object.

We convene this morning, to mourn the loss, of Jordan's ceramic pear. Who was torn from this world before it's time. Smashed against the wall, a victim, of a joke from a maths teacher.

Jordan and the pear met on a fateful day. The anniversary of Storer's birth, and the day Pizza Hut lost a substantial amount of money. We met up early, minus storer, and we went shopping for his 'birthday presents'. We moved our way to Wilkinsons, and spent around £15 on various household items of no use to before mentioned Storer. Included in this haul, was a purple ceramic pear.

We met up with Storer, and then moved onto laser related recreational facilities (Quasar TM) and the pear experienced great joy, even though it was on the losing side. Then we moved onto Pizza Hut where the pear shared in the mirth of the party as Storer received his gifts, and an eating competition was announced. (Neil won, with Storer 2nd and Jordan 3rd) And it was during this joyous occasion that the pear and Jordan formed their great friendship. The pear was Jordan's only thread for holding onto life after his blood became infused with cheese at this time.

The pear went everywhere with Jordan after Storer saw the special bond they shared, and reluctantly let the pear follow it's heart. They had many good times, the pear confusing everyone who bore eyes on it. It was carefully laid on the desk at the start of each lesson, and carried around delicately between them. This continued till that fateful day when the pear and Jordan were torn away from each other by a bad joke. A few days later Jordan lay ill, taking time from his studies to grieve properly, and attempting to fight the cheese festooned blood that ran through his veins.

Now he feels ready, we are here to say goodbye, to the pear."

Tears were shed, and the pear was moved into the grave. Tom and Kieran fill in the grave, whilst others stand in silence. Once the pear had been returned to the ground, Ben read out the tribute from George, who sadly couldn't make it.

People moved inside, eating biscuits, and after a short while we began home.

Jordan's pear
2007-2007



The future of pears
Having all made promises to buy more pears, the only person to do so so far has been Tom, whose pear sits to the side of his monitor.

UPDATE: Today, Daryl bought 2 pears to the watermob. They helped during pizza...