Right. So. Peaceful soul that I am, I should probably incriminate myself, rather than someone else. This task description may or may not be safe for work, I'll warn you now. (Though, if you're already on this page, too late?) If you are Eleanor the Most, you must turn back now!

My friend Kate arrived in town Sunday and stayed with me for a couple nights. Earlier that day, I had been bouncing around between cleaning and checking out SF0 updates when I saw that this task was available right off the bat. Cheers.

A few months ago I had been in Good Vibrations, and in a fit of curiosity I bought a penis pump. It was on sale. I've tried it once and was completely unimpressed. To be honest, the experience was terrible. Maybe I was doing it wrong but I can't imagine doing it right would have been much better. I have no idea how people find pumping stimulating and It's been sitting in my closet ever since.

(Actually, there's a funny story about that. After I had moved into my place, slowly I've had friends come over to check it out. One time I was showing two friends the layout and the walk-in closet in my bedroom. I turned on the closet light and noticed that the penis pump was like RIGHT THERE on the upper shelf, behind a box, so I turned around so my friends couldn't come in far enough to get a chance to see it. I had to try and act all nonchalant as I was giving the tour. Good times.)

Today I dragged it out and hung it up in the kitchen.



We got back home around 9:15pm, and I waited to see how long it would be until she said something.

Almost midnight
What the hell, she's doing my dishes (the sink is underneath the shelf you see in that photo, so she's right there) and she hasn't said a single thing. Either she hasn't noticed it, or she's too sex-positive to think it even warrants mention.

I'm tempted to show her this task and my write-up so far to see what she says. Christ, I should've taken a picture of her standing next to it.

8:30am
Had a nice breakfast standing in the kitchen. Still no mention of the penis pump. Then again, I didn't even remember nor notice it was there until I sat down to update this.

9am
She's doing dishes from breakfast. Hellooooo, Kate! There's a penis pump by you! Do you see it?

2:15pm
Back from lunch and picking up film scans. She's still not seeing it, or she has and she's still not saying anything. We sit around the computer and I transfer my film scans to my computer and we go through them. Accidentally I browse to far and she has a chance to get a glimpse of the photo above. Would this tip her off? I can't tell yet.

8pm
We're back from dinner, which we had with, strangely enough, the authors of The Ethical Slut. This would've been the perfect time for her to say something like "Oh hey, Jason, I've been meaning to ask you about the penis pump above the kitchen sink" but it doesn't happen. She's working on the proof for our afternoon's collaboration right now.

Midnight
Back from having tea and dessert at Cafe Flore with another friend of Kate's. We're using 511.org to plan out her trip to Oakland International and when she'll need to leave by. Still no comment. She's calling her boyfriend to tell him good-night. I'm about to bust out my phone and take a movie, asking her why she hasn't said anything. I'm pretty sure she hasn't even noticed.

Does the kitchen make excellent cover for sex toys? Have I discovered a new law of the universe? Is this what I'm going to go down for in the annals of science? "7au's Law of Sex Toy Environmental Ingratiation?"

12:10am
Watch the movie. She got up, went to the kitchen, turned on the light, looked around, and jumped a bit and busted out laughing when she saw it. I'll let her explain why it went unnoticed in a comment if she so desires. I let her read the proof description up to the last time entry, which was causing her to crack up. I love my friends.