Recently I had the pleasure of examining a most remarkable specimen in the wilderness of San Francisco, user lowteck. I must say that in my years of phrenological study I have never encountered a skull quite like that of mr. lowteck. Whereas other skulls are wondrous plains of revelatory ridges and bumps, mr. lowteck's skull is completely devoid of any remarkable features whatsoever. His skull, perfectly smooth and egg-shaped, is covered with a course tuft of dark fur and is far thicker than the normal human skull. In fact, his head more closely resembles that of a mountain gorilla. At the slightest disturbance, the contents of mr.lowteck's skull sloshes disturbingly, revealing that at best it is half full. The odd smoothness of the specimen's skull explains much about the subject, who is generally cheerful and slovenly, with dull bestial eyes and a braying laugh that is evoked at the slightest of triggers and is always accompanied by copious drooling and thunderous hand clapping. However, trapped inside the child beast is a technical savant, who can solve complex mathematical formulae, manipulate computers to seek pornography and can manipulate record players so that disparate tracks come to be synched. Maddening though it was, I had to release the subject back into the wild, for keeping him confined in my home for my brief phrenological observations made the subject both violent and flatulent. Pictures forthcoming.