It was a dark and stormy night. Alright, maybe "stormy" isn't all that accurate. There was no actual rain, per se. Nor lightning, or even a distant crack of thunder. Though it certainly could have been slightly overcast. Well, if nothing else, there were definitely clouds of some sort in the sky. And it was most assuredly nighttime.

Anyway, as is always the case, luck is with me about as often as my name, so it was by no chance that I decided to forsake the company of my friends and stay home that night. I had me date with a picture box that I just could not refuse. They had a party lined up or somesuch, and I was having one of my more antisocial moods, so I parked my butt in a comfy chair and proceeded to eat assorted candies out of a handy bowl sitting nearby. Strangely enough, no matter how many times I changed channels, all I could find playing were horror movies. At about a half an hour into "Poltergeist", there came a knocking at the door.

"Well then! And who should that be at an hour like this?" says I to myself.

And so, sporting a pair of Cat-in-The-Hat boxers and a suspicious look on my face, I make my way to the door. Peeping out of the peep hole, I can't for the life of me see a thing but an empty, darkened front yard. Frowning, I retrace my steps and sit on the edge of my rapidly cooling chair. Not two minutes later, there comes a knock again. This time I turn off the television and pick up my trusty baseball bat before going back to the door. Once again, I put my eye to the peep hole and find myself face to face with a whole lot of nothing.



However, I think I hear giggling.

My hackles rise and my paranoia surges.

"Someone's out to get me, eh? Give me a good scare?" I'm thinking "Well, I'll give them a scare right back!" So I unlatch the door, thrust it open wide and jump out, all the while letting out a fierce roar and swinging about my bat.... and quickly recoil. BEASTS. MONSTERS. My skin begins to crawl. Small creatures of unknown origin and only vaguely humanoid shape surround me at all sides. My formerly fierce battle cry turns shrill and screeching, but my bat-swinging only intensifies as I begin to scream "GET AWAY, GET AWAY!!!"



The eldritch horrors give way and I'm too far panicked to even contemplate turning back the way I came, so instead I find myself running towards to the street in my boxers, frantically looking for help, all the while still letting out a high pitched squeal and ineffectively swinging my baseball bat over my head.

It's at this point that, in hindsight, I probably should have taken more note of what was going on around me, as I unexpectedly run face first into one of my roommates returning cars.

As I groan and roll over on my side in the driveway, hearing the crunch of broken glass underneath me, I find myself looking up at a group of small children wearing plastic masks and cheap costumes.

"Ah" says I, "Halloween, is it?"

Seven stitches later, I have a pretty scar next to my right eye as a constant reminder to me that I should always go out with my friends on the thirty first of October.