Failure!

Getting Started with High Hopes

After donning my social anxiety sunglasses (hide the eyes! hide the eyes!) and grabbing my trusty digital camera (elmo), I hit the street. I began ambling towards my street corner of choice in downtown San Fran. "This will be easy", I cackled to myself - practically savoring the taste of the 15 crunchy points in my mouth. I turned the last corner, and then I saw the crowd. "Goddamnit!", I swore, "It's fucking black Friday! Now I've got to wade through all these freaking people" After wading through a barrage of very busy looking shoppers I arrived at my destination:

Ok, I'm Here, What Now?

So I arrive at my corner or choice, Market and Powell. So many freaking people! How am I even going to SEE anything 'fantastic' with all these mall cows mooing around! Let me thing... wait, what? I'm going to hell? ....

HOLY BIBLE.jpg

... because apparently this guy doesn't think anyone here is Jesusy enough for his taste. He pulls out a very strange looking edition of the bible and starts picking on the shoppers and lesbians with impunity. Gah, leave me alone dude, I'm on a mission here.

Pragmatic Pajamma Clown

I wandered around the little square, peering between each pair of bricks for something amazing! I ran across some mildew and an ant - but I'm looking for even more amazing than that. Still, I made a mental note to come back to the mildew ant forest if nothing else presented itself. This sleepy looking fellow was standing right where I was planning to start my first watch. I gave him a dirty look and tapped my foot at him. He eventually moved. FINALLY, I can get started!

S.F.F.D.jpg

Just when I was starting to pick out interesting patterns in cloud formations and thinking that they might be possibly pushed to being 'fantastic', across the street, this ambulance pulls up. I guess someone may have shopped until they dropped. dum de dum de dum... Is that a burning cigerette but?

Dancing and Singing

I pulled out my iPhone to look the task up again - and check for loopholes. I was rudely interrupted by these folks, who decided it was time to start drumming, dancing and singing. Sheesh - the nerve. It must have been laundry day for them. I walk to the other side of the square to get away from the racket.

Drummers

.... but on the other side of the square, these fools were drumming away on buckets! Freakin buckets! The guy on the right kept getting fancy by turning the bucket with his feet.... "Big whoop, fella, you should have seen the moss ant I saw between the bricks on the gap building". I need to get away from this, I'll take the escalator down to the bart station and get a coffee and regroup.

STRESS TEST = SCIENTOLOGY = DANGEROUS CULT

Not even down the god damn escellator, and my train of thought was broken by dancing placquard wielding protestors. You know, these San Franciscians will protest anything - give them a sandwich with American cheese instead of Swiss and you've got a protest on your hand. I cover my eyes and look away as I settle into the coffee shop to think.

Guitar Lessons

I'm sipping my mocha and now THESE guys start making a racket across from me with their guitar lessons. No rest for the weary I suppose.

Chess

I came back up from the coffee pit using the stairs and spied these guys across the street.

Drum Line

I head back to my corner and now a completely different set of dancers are drumming and dancing. I hope things quiet down soon so I can get a really good picture of my moss ant.

Viola

Then the dancers left and these folks showed up.

Helicopters move in

Four helicopters begin to take up stationary positions around the square overhead. ugh, so much noise and anxiety, I'm going home!

Power Tower

On my way back home, having failed, I ran across this news antenna - maybe something's gong on?

Tree

Eh, no luck.... Just a bunch of weirdos standing around a dark tree. I don't get it.