45 points
Survey Creation/Distribution/Collation by Cunning Linguist
June 19th, 2006 11:16 PM
I went to go see the Giants play the Marlins and I figured this would be a great place to spread a survey... so I created a survey on a rather contraversial issue... that of Barry Bonds breaking Hank Aaron's record of 755 career home runs. During this game, Barry hit his 716th home run. I figured this crowd would be a shoe-in for a survey, considering he would most likely hit number 716.
I was wrong.
People were waaaaaaaaay more interested in watching the game than answering a survey (um, duh?), even though I told them that they weren't required to answer it right then (they could email it to me).
I also made the mistakes of creating the survey for SF residents only, as I figured this might lend some credibility to my survey. To my surprise, a great deal of Giants fans aren't residents of San Francisco (many of them from the Marin, Sausalito, Mill Valley, San Jose, Oakland and Berkeley).
In any event, I got 9 responses, 3 at the stadium and 6 via email. I had made 40 surveys, and even distributed them at and even past the game (flyered cars and handed them out on the street).
Despite the lack of response, 9 is sufficient for *broad, sweeping generalizations*... so here goes:
Each survey gave a bit of backdrop (you can read it below), but essentially asked the following questions:
1. I believe Barry Bonds will break Hank Aaron’s record of 755 career home runs.
2. If Barry Bonds breaks Hank Aaron’s record, there should be no mention of steroid use when recording the achievement.
3. I am pleased with the MLB’s decision to not celebrate Bond’s moving into second place for the career home run record.
4. I have boo’ed Barry Bonds while he was at bat.
5. If I were to catch Barry Bonds’ 755 home run ball, I would return it to him.
6. If it weren’t for steroids, Barry Bonds would not be in the running for the career home run record at the age of 41 (soon to be 42 on July 24th).
7. I respect Barry Bonds
8. Barry Bonds knowingly took steroids in order to enhance his performance in Major League Baseball
9. Barry Bonds has a likeable personality and friendly demeanor.
10. If Barry Bonds got into a fight with Mike Ditka, Barry would win.
Out of the 9 interviewed, their responses were as follows:
User1 User2 User3 User4 User5 User6 User7 User8 User9
Q1 2 3 4 5 4 2 2 2 4
Q2 1 2 1 1 3 2 1 2 2
Q3 3 2 3 4 5 3 3 4 3
Q4 2 1 2 5 4 2 3 4 1
Q5 2 1 2 2 1 1 1 1 1
Q6 5 2 4 4 5 5 2 5 2
Q7 2 1 3 5 2 2 3 3 4
Q8 5 5 4 5 5 4 2 4 3
Q9 2 1 3 3 1 2 3 3 3
Q10 1 4 3 5 5 4 2 4 3
The averages for questions 1-10:
3.111111111
1.666666667
3.333333333
2.666666667
1.333333333
3.777777778
2.777777778
4.111111111
2.333333333
3.444444444
The following visualizes this data:
These answers empirically point to the following conclusions:
1. No one really knows whether Bonds will break Hank Aaron's record except Hank Aaron and that lizard from the Geico commercials.
2. If that little gecko is indeed right and Bonds breaks his record, the majority of SF residents want Barry to tattoo the word "Juicer" to his forehead before snapping the picture which will eventually go into the record books.
3. No one cares about the baseball bureaucracy other than the baseball bureaucracy.
4. SF residents tend to 'boo' indiscrimanently, whether at the ball game, at the supermarket or during coitus.
5. The very same SF residents are greedy bastards that don't care about a baseball millionairre's hopes and dreams.
6. Barry Bonds is also receiving stem cell therapy to enhance his steroid therapy, thereby giving him the edge over all of the MLB (which uses just steroids).
7. Barry is neither feared nor respected... he makes babies cry but that's about it.
8. According to reliable sources... Barry contracted three heart specialist, and internal medicine specialist, two pharmacologists, one psychopharmacologists and a team of crack chemists to design, test, produce and administer super steroids known as Barroids... which Al Qaeda is looking to currently purchase in the black market from Quebecois seperatists which have secretly infiltrated Major League Baseball.
9. SF residents don't like large african americans.
10. Obviously no one knows the godliness that is Mike Ditka (or SNL skits).
I was wrong.
People were waaaaaaaaay more interested in watching the game than answering a survey (um, duh?), even though I told them that they weren't required to answer it right then (they could email it to me).
I also made the mistakes of creating the survey for SF residents only, as I figured this might lend some credibility to my survey. To my surprise, a great deal of Giants fans aren't residents of San Francisco (many of them from the Marin, Sausalito, Mill Valley, San Jose, Oakland and Berkeley).
In any event, I got 9 responses, 3 at the stadium and 6 via email. I had made 40 surveys, and even distributed them at and even past the game (flyered cars and handed them out on the street).
Despite the lack of response, 9 is sufficient for *broad, sweeping generalizations*... so here goes:
Each survey gave a bit of backdrop (you can read it below), but essentially asked the following questions:
1. I believe Barry Bonds will break Hank Aaron’s record of 755 career home runs.
2. If Barry Bonds breaks Hank Aaron’s record, there should be no mention of steroid use when recording the achievement.
3. I am pleased with the MLB’s decision to not celebrate Bond’s moving into second place for the career home run record.
4. I have boo’ed Barry Bonds while he was at bat.
5. If I were to catch Barry Bonds’ 755 home run ball, I would return it to him.
6. If it weren’t for steroids, Barry Bonds would not be in the running for the career home run record at the age of 41 (soon to be 42 on July 24th).
7. I respect Barry Bonds
8. Barry Bonds knowingly took steroids in order to enhance his performance in Major League Baseball
9. Barry Bonds has a likeable personality and friendly demeanor.
10. If Barry Bonds got into a fight with Mike Ditka, Barry would win.
Out of the 9 interviewed, their responses were as follows:
User1 User2 User3 User4 User5 User6 User7 User8 User9
Q1 2 3 4 5 4 2 2 2 4
Q2 1 2 1 1 3 2 1 2 2
Q3 3 2 3 4 5 3 3 4 3
Q4 2 1 2 5 4 2 3 4 1
Q5 2 1 2 2 1 1 1 1 1
Q6 5 2 4 4 5 5 2 5 2
Q7 2 1 3 5 2 2 3 3 4
Q8 5 5 4 5 5 4 2 4 3
Q9 2 1 3 3 1 2 3 3 3
Q10 1 4 3 5 5 4 2 4 3
The averages for questions 1-10:
3.111111111
1.666666667
3.333333333
2.666666667
1.333333333
3.777777778
2.777777778
4.111111111
2.333333333
3.444444444
The following visualizes this data:
These answers empirically point to the following conclusions:
1. No one really knows whether Bonds will break Hank Aaron's record except Hank Aaron and that lizard from the Geico commercials.
2. If that little gecko is indeed right and Bonds breaks his record, the majority of SF residents want Barry to tattoo the word "Juicer" to his forehead before snapping the picture which will eventually go into the record books.
3. No one cares about the baseball bureaucracy other than the baseball bureaucracy.
4. SF residents tend to 'boo' indiscrimanently, whether at the ball game, at the supermarket or during coitus.
5. The very same SF residents are greedy bastards that don't care about a baseball millionairre's hopes and dreams.
6. Barry Bonds is also receiving stem cell therapy to enhance his steroid therapy, thereby giving him the edge over all of the MLB (which uses just steroids).
7. Barry is neither feared nor respected... he makes babies cry but that's about it.
8. According to reliable sources... Barry contracted three heart specialist, and internal medicine specialist, two pharmacologists, one psychopharmacologists and a team of crack chemists to design, test, produce and administer super steroids known as Barroids... which Al Qaeda is looking to currently purchase in the black market from Quebecois seperatists which have secretly infiltrated Major League Baseball.
9. SF residents don't like large african americans.
10. Obviously no one knows the godliness that is Mike Ditka (or SNL skits).
