Posted on Craigslist

Annie Goslightly
Columbus, OH

Statement of Purpose:
Seeking challenging employment in a position that will allow me to fully utilize all my talents.

Skills:
Near-fluent knowledge of spoken and written French.
Walking unharmed through lava for up to seven miles.
Transformation: Faerie form, reptile form.
Flight (with wings, and without).
Navigation through continually changing urban mazes.
All-Terrain stunt driving in a Minivan.
Running really, really fast.
Mailing children through the mail in small envelopes.

Employment History:
-Mage's Assistant
Duties: Magic source, infiltration, intimidation and negotiation, theft of priceless magic artifacts, the curing of flesh-eating Manganese Water Poison.
-Librarian and Zookeeper
Duties: Care-taking and cataloging of books, reptiles, and plants.
-SFZero Artist
Duties: The writing of a Dream Resume.
-Sea Captain
Duties: Keep the boat afloat.
-Spaceship Crew
Duties: Auditioning and hiring of mercenaries, general spaceship duties.
-Child
Duties: Fend off the mean ghost by saying the poem for the nice ghost, escape from the mausoleum by removing the door screws with my fingernails.
-Ex-CIA operative
Duties: Keeping myself and my family alive, extensive travel, Special Ops Missions.

Education:
2006: Bachelor of Arts in Social and Behavioral Sciences, Ohio State University.



Response #1:

> That is fascinating stuff! Not to mention very captivating. I don't
> really know what of your unique skills I would be able to use, but would
> like your permission to forward this on to some of my colleagues..? Thanx
> and have a great day.
>
My reply:
Hi,

Yes, you may forward my resume to your colleagues. It's actually sort of a prank - I posted that resume as a task for the group San Francisco Zero. SF0 is an artistic community (and a game) dedicated to undertaking creative and/or unusual tasks, and whenever I complete a task I get points. The points don't actually do anything, but the tasks are fun.

That resume is part of the task "Dream Resume," and all of the work experience, skills, etc. listed in my resume was from my dreams. I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it!

Here are some links with information about SF0:
http://www.sf0.org/
http://news.com.com/Collaborative+gaming+takes+to+the+streets/2100-1043_3-6061171.html

Take care,
Annie



Response #2:

I also received a spam response, subject "You've got the skills":

Put them to work for you! Many gus do this for extra cash! Flexibility is what
Pampered Chef is about! You set your own schedule, your own paycheck! The
possibilities are truly endless! Our company is trusted and not a scam! We've been
in business 26 years! You'll build your business to the degree you wish! Please read
on!
My name is Rich. I am a Pampered Chef consultant. Are you familiar with our company
or products? We are the premier direct seller of essential kitchen tools! I saw your
posting on Craig's List and thought I might put a bug in your ear. Did you know that
you can use the current skills you have to make some extra money by offering our
products to anyone who can use awesome kitchen tools!
The New Consultant Kit is a $500 value and is offered at $155. You get 25 of our most popular items and business supplies and training to get you up and running fast!
To see an online catalog, go to my website and Click on Order Products (bottom left button), then select option #2 Place An Order, then click on Shop Catalog.
Take a look at the documents on my NEWS page and let me know. You don't have to do the party thing. The only sales requirement is $200 every two months. Anyone can do that! But you can also do much more than that.
HOW MUCH CAN I EARN AS A PAMPERED CHEF CONSULTANT?
Show Sales Your Commission
$420 $ 84.00
$450 (Company Show Average) $ 90.00
$500 $100.00
$550 $110.00
$600 $120.00
$700 $140.00
$800 $176.00
$900 $198.00
$1000 $220.00
HOW MANY PART-TIME JOBS CAN OFFER YOU AN INCOME LIKE THIS ONE CAN?

WHAT TO LOOK FOR IN A DIRECT SELLING COMPANY
Product Line: Guaranteed quality tools with a wide variety of gourmet as well as basic kitchen tools
Investment: Low start-up investment of $155 (or as little as $105 ask me how). No Inventory and No Deliveries required.
Target Market: Anyone who has a kitchen. Whether they love to cook or hate to cook, we have tools for them.
Growth Potential: Excellent - No sales or recruiting boundaries. Everyone has the same opportunity for advancement.
Company Stability: The Pampered Chef has been in business for 26 years.
Price Range: The Pampered Chef has a variety of products, 60% are Under $20.00.
Earning Potential: It’s up to you. You create your own paycheck! You can give yourself a raise any time you want one.
Training/Support: Your recruiter and director are a great source of support and training, as well as a amazing training available from our home office.

The Pampered Chef is a member of the Direct Sellers Association of America.

Prepared and Pampered,
Rich Malboeuf - the Prepared Chef
Pampered Chef Consultant #423659
916.743.8723
www.pamperedchef.biz/richm