Contents of this character's wallet: nada, zip, nil. This character no longer has a wallet.

About 2am last night I was my way home, walking down Market Street, when someone comes up to me and says something to the effect of "give me your wallet." I size him up and say something to the effect of "fuck you." He hits me, I hit him back and take off running, and the next thing I know I'm on the ground and there are five guys punching and kicking me. (Clearly they were not aware that 8th & Market is not a designated player killing area.)

They take my wallet, keys, and cell phone. I stumble out into the middle of Market with blood running down my face, waving my arms like a lunatic in an attempt to attract the police.

The police roll up, and I'm taken to SF General where I proceed to spend 8 hours on a gurney with my neck in a cervical collar waiting for a CT scan. Turns out nothing is wrong with me that some superglue (aka Derma-bond) can't fix. I'm then on my own to figure out how the hell I'm going to a) get home without any money, and b) get into my home without my keys.

Three bank tellers, social security number, PIN verification, mother's maiden name, city of birth, and who knows what else later, I'm granted the privilege of withdrawing money from my bank account (I would have been screwed if the bank had been closed). I then catch the Metro home, where one of my neighbors lets me in. He doesn't have the name or number of the locksmith company we're supposed to call when locked out during non-business hours, so I proceed to knock on every door on my floor until someone answers and is able to find the number for me.

The locksmith shows up, and is initially unwilling to let me into my apartment without photo ID. He finally acquiesces when I'm able to produce a bank statement with the name matching that on the hospital ID bracelet I'm still wearing. Costs $100 to let me in and re-key the locks - all of the cash I had worked so hard to take out of the bank.

I spend over an hour calling credit card companies, banks, etc. to cancel everything that was in the wallet and order replacements. It appears the only thing the muggers used any of the credit cards for was a $20 BART ticket. (As a side note: WTF? Has BART really gotten that expensive that people are robbing strangers on the street for train fare? Wasn't yesterday a "Spare The Air" day?)

What would someone think of me with only the contents of my pockets? Either that I have espoused material goods, or am transient, or got jumped by a bunch of guys while walking down the street late at night.

The one thing I wish to add to the contents of my (new) wallet is the only thing I actually miss: my lucky $2 bill. Well, that and the various tokens such as ID, ATM card, and FastPass that without which I now realize how difficult it is to just get from one end of San Francisco to the other. But those will arrive in 3-7 business days.