WHIZ! BANG! WIPQUOZN! Amoeba Man is back, SFZerians, and he's hungry for tasking!

Art Unseen! Art without vision- can it be done? If anyone can do it, Amoeba Man can!

So, as anyone who has ever been in the Amoeba Sanctum in the history of ever knows that it is adorned with posters of all sorts. Some are more artistic than others, but the one I'm most proud of is the one currently on the wall directly across from my bed. I was lucky enough to have it catch my eye at a poster sale at my school and let me tell you, there is no way I wasn't buying this (and it was reasonably priced too). It's pretty much the best poster I own, and it is very artfully done, representing everything that is good about Star Wars. I love it, and hoped that I could do it justice with a blindfolded replica. Of course, this is akin to thinking you can do Beethoven's Ninth Symphony justice by banging out the vague melody to Louie Louie while waving a salami at a theremin, but this was all back when I was young and disillusioned (about ten minutes ago).

I decided to give myself a restriction- I would not leave my room for this task! This was a great idea until I realized I didn't have anything to blindfold myself with. My first attempt involved a belt- it's width and length would make it an excellent blindfold, combined with it's ease of fastening. This didn't turn out so well (like I said, I was young and stupid). My second attempt was less reasonable and surprisingly more functional. I took a fanny pack that I had once used to hold my Gameboy, tied the ends off with the rope from a tote bag, and somehow, against all logic, it made an excellent headpiece. Amazing? Maybe. Idiotic? Probably.

So, with my blindfold adequately applied to my face with a liberal application of science, I set about gathering the tools I would need. Unfortunately, the blindfold was still on, so I fell over some things before finally managing to scrounge up a piece of paper and a pencil (I didn't bother with colored pencils because I don't have a very good set in my room). Anyhow, once I actually sat down to get right to it, I decided I was going to start with the bottom and work my way up. I felt really good about this. I could almost feel the hand of the artist guiding mine as I slid my pencil along the page. I began to try more audacious strokes, and the results felt incredible! I could feel power surging through me- "This!" I cried, my pencil raised to heaven, "This must be what Da Vinci felt as he penned the Mona Lisa! This must be what Michaelangelo felt as he chiseled out the contours of David! This is probably a bit like what Frank Frazetta felt like when he drew that cover for Conan the Barbarian, you know, the one with the snake!" Each new stroke yielded a brand new sensation of pleasure and beauty! I ripped off the blindfold, and unfortunately, saw what I'd drawn.

That pretty much killed my high.

Oh well, the result isn't so bad, considering the circumstances. And anyways, it's not like I have to hang it on the wall and look at it every day, constantly reminded of the shame of my actions and the terrible failure of my artistic abilities, the cumulative depression eventually guiding me to a cubicle somewhere where I will eventually die, alone and unloved, forgotten within a week.

:D

Ah, well. That's about it for this task. It's Friday, so I'll put the picture up in my school on Monday. When I get access to my brother's room, I'll scan a copy of the artwork in and you can see it in all of it's terrifying, perverse glory.

Until next time, SFZerians,

HENSHIN!