I had originally planned to do this task on Sponty as revenge for his Personalized Spam task, but his computer came down with a virus and he hasn't been online in a while, so I wasn't really in the mood to wait. Mark my words, Sponty- I'll get you yet.

I knew there was no way I could lie to someone in person, I can never keep a straight face. Therefore, I decided I would do it to someone on my Skype contacts list. I logged on, and sure enough, a good pal of mine who goes by the moniker "Bowshi" was online at the time. Success! He would do nicely. I figured a small-scale campaign was best, since I don't interact with enough people online on a day to day basis to keep a large-scale lie going for a long time.

The next hurdle was finding something that was believable. I decided to tell him that I had been fired that day at work.

The following is an exact transcript of the Skype conversation we had. The lies are clearly marked, and my lines are bolded for convenience.

(Some short breeze-shooting).
Me:
So, how's it going?
[6:07:31 PM] Bowshi says: XD
[6:07:33 PM] Bowshi says: not bad ty
[6:07:35 PM] Bowshi says: you?
[6:07:44 PM] Amoeba Man says: Not great, actually. (Lie, I was doing fine)
[6:07:45 PM] Amoeba Man says: I got fired. (Lie)
[6:08:13 PM] Bowshi says: :O
[6:08:14 PM] Bowshi says: shi
[6:08:16 PM] Bowshi says: D=
[6:08:20 PM] Amoeba Man says: Yeah.
[6:08:26 PM] Amoeba Man says: It's actually an interesting story.
[6:08:31 PM] Amoeba Man says: See, I work in a graveyard.
[6:08:37 PM] Amoeba Man says: My primary function is mowing the lawn.
[6:08:39 PM] Bowshi says:
seriously? o.
[6:08:40 PM] Bowshi says: o.o *
[6:08:44 PM] Amoeba Man says: Yeah, seriously.
[6:08:54 PM] Amoeba Man says: Anyways, we have this ride-on mower.
[6:08:58 PM] Amoeba Man says: Makes work easy.
[6:09:02 PM] Bowshi says: yah?
[6:09:11 PM] Amoeba Man says: But I don't really work a whole lot, because I'm a teenager, and I slack off. (Lie, with regard to work, anyway)
[6:09:18 PM] Amoeba Man says: As evidenced by the lack of HofT (an animated series I'm working on for him).
[6:09:29 PM] Amoeba Man says: Anyways.
[6:09:37 PM] Amoeba Man says: There's this little hill in the graveyard.
[6:09:50 PM] Amoeba Man says: If you get the mower going at full speed, you can ramp off it and actually get a little air (Lie, you can't get the ride-on going nearly that fast).
[6:10:27 PM] Bowshi says: HA XD
[6:10:27 PM] Bowshi says: sweet
[6:10:30 PM] Amoeba Man says: Yeah.
[6:10:31 PM] Amoeba Man says: BUT.
[6:10:41 PM] Amoeba Man says: See, the mower part can detach from the tractor.
[6:10:46 PM] Amoeba Man says: It's got these two wheels on it.
[6:10:54 PM] Amoeba Man says: They keep it level on the ground. (All true)
[6:11:18 PM] Bowshi says: o.o..
[6:11:20 PM] Bowshi says: yeah?
[6:11:23 PM] Amoeba Man says: Anyways, my colleague and I were ramping off this hill, and one of the wheels broke off. (Partially true- yes, the wheel broke off, but we weren't ramping off anything).
[6:11:25 PM] Amoeba Man says: Clean split.
[6:11:37 PM] Amoeba Man says: Of course, we knew we were in trouble then.
[6:11:37 PM] Bowshi says: o.o
[6:11:43 PM] Bowshi says: damn =[
[6:11:53 PM] Amoeba Man says: So we took it to our boss and told her we'd just gone over a rough patch.
[6:12:03 PM] Amoeba Man says: There's a lot of bumpy ground in the graveyard, so it's not really a lie. (That's actually how it broke off).
[6:12:08 PM] Amoeba Man says: It could have happened.
[6:12:35 PM] Amoeba Man says: Anyways, she sent it off to get it welded back on and we were tractorless for a week or so. (True).
[6:12:49 PM] Bowshi says: Yah?
[6:13:02 PM] Amoeba Man says: When it got back, she told us that we couldn't use it in the graveyard anymore- it was restricted to use in the churchyard nearby. (Lie)
[6:13:23 PM] Amoeba Man says: She didn't want to pay another several-hundred-dollars to get it fixed again.
[6:13:35 PM] Amoeba Man says: Of course, this makes work RIDICULOUSLY difficult for me and my partner.
[6:13:45 PM] Bowshi says: =[
[6:14:03 PM] Amoeba Man says: Seeing as the only other things we have are a crappy old push mower and a battery powered whippersnipper that runs for about forty minutes. (Partially true- we have both of those things, but we also have a decent push mower and a gas whippersnipper).
[6:14:17 PM] Bowshi says: whippersnapper? o.o
[6:14:37 PM] Amoeba Man says: You know, those spinny-whoosh-whoosh things that cut grass close to walls.
[6:15:12 PM] Amoeba Man says: Anyways, I got really frustrated because this, in short, means I can't do my job.
[6:15:22 PM] Bowshi says: ooh yah
[6:15:37 PM] Bowshi says: my mum cuts the garden grass with one of them and takes her ages o.o
[6:16:01 PM] Amoeba Man says: I blurted out "Are you deficient, or something?! We'll never get the job done now!" (Basically, everything after here is a lie)
[6:16:33 PM] Bowshi says: o.ol
[6:16:37 PM] Bowshi says: uhoh XD
[6:16:40 PM] Amoeba Man says: And then of course, she said "Excuse me?" in that "Oh-no-you-di'int" kind of way.
[6:16:56 PM] Amoeba Man says: I figured I was in deep enough trouble at this point and figured I'd shoot for the gold.
[6:17:24 PM] Amoeba Man says: I just muttered "You heard me".
[6:17:43 PM] Bowshi says: xD
[6:17:47 PM] Amoeba Man says: She got into some tirade about respect for your superiors and stuff.
[6:18:27 PM] Amoeba Man says: I said "Hell with respect- respect is earned, not granted. Ever since I started working here, every suggestion you've put forward has just been impractical and bull-headed".
[6:18:29 PM] Amoeba Man says: "I'
[6:18:49 PM] Amoeba Man says: "I'd like to see you try and do my job for a half-hour, you wouldn't last a minute".
[6:19:08 PM] Amoeba Man says: "I can't respect anyone who bosses people around and orders them to do things they can't do themselves".
[6:19:10 PM] Bowshi says: o shi' CF
[6:19:12 PM] Bowshi says: XD**
[6:19:30 PM] Amoeba Man says: She got really mad after that.
[6:19:41 PM] Amoeba Man says: She yells at me "Do you want to keep this job?!"
[6:20:29 PM] Amoeba Man says: I told her "And keep working my butt off in the hot sun for nine bucks an hour? I can make more than that making webcomics three times a week!"
[6:20:44 PM] Bowshi says: ooooh snap XD
[6:21:45 PM] Amoeba Man says: She told me I'd get a check for the work I'd done that week and that I could forget about coming in to work tomorrow.
[6:22:14 PM] Amoeba Man says: I figured, what the hell, and decided to quote Edguy as my two weeks' notice.
[6:22:16 PM] Amoeba Man says: I yelled.
[6:23:13 PM] Amoeba Man says: "I'M GONNA BE A FORMULA 1 RACER! I'M GONNA HAVE A BIG HOUSE! I'LL HAVE A HELICOPTER! AND YOU WILL BE NOTHING! NOTHING! NOTHING BUT NOTHING! YOU! NOTHING! AAAAAARGH! AAAAAAAARGH! HELICOPTER!"
[6:23:15 PM] Amoeba Man says: Then I left.
[6:26:30 PM] Amoeba Man says: And that was that.
[6:26:37 PM] Amoeba Man says: More time to work on HofT, anyways.
[6:27:27 PM] Bowshi says: Lmao XD
[6:27:30 PM] Bowshi says: Ahh
[6:27:33 PM] Bowshi says: at least you get fired with style XD
[6:27:40 PM] Amoeba Man says: Yep.
[6:30:13 PM] Amoeba Man says: I did at that.

So, that was my big fat lie. Some pictures are included for proof, I didn't screenshot everything.