Rage Against the Machine by Flitworth
February 1st, 2008 4:33 PM
On RageA Primer Regarding the Nature, Measurement, Costs and Benefits of Rage
The Sphinx: "If you do not learn to master your rage..."
Mr. Furious:"...your rage will become your master."
I Introduction
The Nature of Rage
Many people are under the misapprehension that rage is equivalent to being very angry. This is entirely false. While being extremely angry and expressing rage may exhibit similar symptoms, genuine rage is not sourced solely in the matter causing upset. Instead, rage is an actual quality individuals possess. Everyone is capable of anger but only the chosen few can experience rage.
Rage is the result of a million tiny injustices heaped upon each other. Rage comes when problems become so overwhelming that inconsequential trespasses (intended or accidental) are confounded with real issues of concern. Like wine it must age. If the fermentation process is allowed to progress, rage slowly transforms the fibers of your being. Your sinews are constantly tightened, your teeth wear down from being unconsciously clenched, and your heart blackens.
II
Measurement
Measuring rage is, of course, an imperfect science. As it relates to emotional matters and is the result of slow changes in cognitive patterns there is not yet any single reliable instrument for measuring rage. However, because of the poisonous effects of rage on the body there has been success in measuring secondary effects such as darkening of the blood and/or a reduction in the size of the heart. As rage is not recognized in isolation as a disease in the DSM (only as it relates to or enhances other identified psychosis and trauma) public funding for studies has been limited. Likewise, because the profit-margin expectations for treating rage are very low private firms have not invested capital either.
III
The costs and Benefits of Rage
Rage has negative effects on the person experiencing it and on those with whom the possessor comes in contact. Some people manage to maintain relationships and manage the symptoms of rage through a broad range of methods from the homeopathic to the alcoholic. While most scientists and psychiatrists agree that the costs of rage far outweigh the benefits there is a subset within both these professional communities that point out that Wolverine is filled with rage and he's fucking awesome.
Epilogue
It took me a long time to do this even though I have known that the washing machine would be the focus ever since it filled my porch with water (video below). I really wasn't able to build up the proper steamy head of rage I was once capable of. Even though my raging tirades have been a source of amusement to my friends, and of occasional brilliance, I have been working hard to wear down the chip on my shoulder. It isn't healthy to be as poisoned by a constant, seething sense of personal and global injustice as I was. I ended up filming this first thing in the morning (before my tea!) early Saturday, which at least puts me in the position of cranky. There may be an update to this as I really do desperately need to do washing and I might kick off a load without a plumber's diagnosis...
Washer Control Panel
I spent most of one of my first Sundays in Korea using my guide book alphabet, OSX's Korean script input, and Babel Fish to figure out the buttons on my washer. My coworker's approach to the washer: "Oh, I just turn it on and hit the play button." I now take the same approach.
21 vote(s)
Augustus deCorbeau
5
Lincøln
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JTony Loves Brains
5
Darkaardvark
5
Coreopsis Major Bloden Melen
5
The Vixen
5
rongo rongo
5
Shea Wolfe
5
Ink Tea
5
susy derkins
5
Bex.
5
Levitating Potato
5
GYØ Ben
5
Jellybean of Thark
5
Lank
5
Tøm
5
Secret Agent
5
Ben Yamiin
5
Sushin
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Sparrows Fall
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Myrna Minx
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Goddamn Flitworth! You are totally awesome! Pississity!
My wife does not understand rage. I would have something crawl under my skin like that and she just would never, ever get it. You explain it better than I've ever seen.
Except maybe Mr. Furious.
I had a bad day today. You just made it way, way, WAAAAAAAAAAAY better.
I'm sorry you have the washing machine from hell. You can come to my house anytime to do laundry, not that that does you any good right now....
Wow, that little brightly colored bag floating in the water is poetic. As indeed you are in your rage. While enjoying and appreciating your rage against the machine, it makes it even cooler that you're actually trying to de-ragify in general.
About your washing machine...could it possibly be that it's designed to spew water out of some kind of pipe/hose, and that people normally just keep a big container under the outflow? Because my washer has a spew outlet and I've seen others that do too. Good luck.
Vote for the great references. Also, the understanding that rage just builds, little by little.
I'm very sorry about your sock.
Thanks everyone:) The thing that angered me most about that sock was that just as I was loading the washer for the first time I thought to myself, "well, now that I have a washer in my apartment there's no way I'll lose any socks!"
rongo rongo, that's possible but seems unlikely, there's a drainage hose that goes into the floor and, I'm guessing, into a communal draining system for the whole apartment. My guess is that something froze or is backed up elsewhere.
Hoes possibility of rinsing.
So poetic and enigmatic.
One sock and is my sock so I didn´t gain a sock, I lost a sock! and How old are you?
Sliced raw fish?!
Okay, I just woke up from a dream where I was replacing that washing machine for you. We found you a nice little compact Kenmore to go in its place, labels in English, typical American controls, etc. Oh, and in the dream, I could lift a compact washing machine all by myself.
Thanks for the inspiration!
While I'm at it, wait, that machine is on your porch in winter weather? Isn't it cold enough to freeze, there, right now? WTF.
Jerkin' Croesus! It makes a sound like a snoring thing. I hate it.
I love this.
But I am very much like JTony's wife. I never feel rage. I don't really get angry. Ever. Now I'm not saying I'm a buddha, I don't exude peace and understanding, but I don't ever get upset. I just think that nothing's really worth it. The most you can get out of me is passive indifference. And if you really really push my buttons, you can turn it all the way up to active indifference.
Lincoln,
Some are more phlegmatic than others. There are pros and cons to ones tendency/ability to get outraged and we need people of all stripes, I think, to keep the world in balance. The steel of my rage is much more tempered than it was and that is good and bad. I am pleased for you that you are at a calm equilibrium.
Coreopsis, I'm sorry to have invaded your dreams! Somehow the porch is not as frozen as the outside. Presumably it is the buffering layer between the relative warmth of my apartment and the bitter cold of the outdoors. Clothes don't freeze but it takes about 2 days for anything to dry.
Great completion.
And with utmost respect for your rage, I humbly submit:
I have a friend who recommends tying or pinning pairs of socks together. She says this makes it more difficult for socks to float out of the washing machine basin during the wash cycle, which is apparently the #1 cause of lost socks.
!
I will also throw this out there:
You can put all your socks in a pair of old nylons and tie the end so they can't escape. So says the sign I saw in a Vancouver laundromat recently. Sadly, I took now photo, but there was a diagram and everything.
I had a landlord who provoked my rage. He took 5 months to fix a leak in the shower that made drips come through the ceiling in the stairwell below and 6 feet sideways. Hopefully your plumber will be much, much faster.
Thanks for the suggestions, all. The sock loss was months ago and a friend in the States sent me one of those bags you can wash delicates in so they're all together in one spot and not disappearing down the pipes.:)
Vote for "the whole aspect that rinses" and "it will cry".
(and also so that you do not hurt me! eep! )
Hope you find your sock!