Like dogs and poker...

the gang assembles, ready to make battle on the fields of MK...

Ham

Stu

Laid Back. Cordial. Deadlier than a can of rabid wolverines.

...

Our good friend the card shuffler - helped to get the cards properly sorted, until the cogs broke under the sheer weight of them all...

Play of interest

The 'Holy Shit' card was quickly removed, as soon as it became apparent it was extremely bloody annoying. (Cards: 'Holy Shit' - All cards must be played as soon as they come into your hand. 'Shark Attack!' - Target card is sharked and removed from the game.

Black Hole!

'Place the Black Hole card in the centre of the table. Every turn, move all cards on the table closer to the Black Hole. Any that touch it are removed from the game.' This would've been all well and good, but some damn fool placed it right next to the deck! Edit, courtesy Lankin: This was swiftly resolved by the playing of a white hole, which regurgitated everything swallowed by the black hole. Because of SCIENCE!.

'A' Level Physics

No one is entirely sure what to do! NO ONE! This was to destroy the black hole primarily, but the game took a hell of a turn when no one was sure what to do.

The Hands of a Vengeful God...

Lankin gleefully tears up the Black Hole after the previous card's being played.

Spurt of Action

Haberley's vote for favourite card, as it made the entire game change on the head of a pin!

Swamp

Gratuitous Magic: The Gathering reference - you may tap this for one mana. Haberley quickly produced a phone tap, and got beaten round the head for unnecessary punnage.

Ewww, Cooties!

Childish? Yes. Surprisingly difficult? Yes. The cause of an absurd amount of annoying girly voices? Three guesses...

Super Trooper lights are gonna...

All players gain super powers! This would have been amazing, were it not for the team's decision to have the stupidest powers in existence - Matatat made everyone around him miserable, Haberley could turn cards into fruit, and Stu was just fantastic.

T!

This card remains in play. NO. MATTER. WHAT.

Death Star

In two turns, three planets will be destroyed. If there are no planets, target three cards. instead. The countdown is on...

Destruction

T! was finally destroyed. However, this card remains in play... Edit, courtesy Lankin: As this card is still in play, its fragments have since been laminated together for easier use in future games.

Mauvais

...We can't tell what this card did, but Rusty is obviously ashamed by it... Edit, courtesy Lankin: This was all courtesy of us playing Mario & Sonic in French beforehand. Don't ask.

Finally, a win condition!

'The first player to bring a stranger into the game wins.' The phones were pulled out, and the next five minutes of the game was a frenzy of mashed buttons and hurried explanations. It says something about the crapness of our friends that nobody was willing to join in though, so the game continued... Edit, courtesy Lankin: Or, you know, that's what would have happened, except that this card never actually got played. Some of us have to have a memory around here...

Meringue!

Lankin: Not entirely sure what I was planning when I made this, but I felt the game needed more fun, and what's more fun than auctions?

SOLD!

Meringue was eventually won by Haberley, with a winning bid of three mini-muffins and the player Ham (pictured).

Impartial Ajudicators

The ruling on Meringue was sketchy at best, so we called in a new player to help us govern the correct procedures.

...?

I'm pretty sure there was a card that froze Matatat to the spot, but I think this picture is much better wihtout context, don't you?

Anti-Muffin!

Remember those superpowers? Well the times they were a-changin'...

Happy Happy Happy

And Matatat loses his miserable-making powers for the low low price of a muffin. Are your powers getting you down? Come to Honest Lankin's Place O' Powers today and get a muffin-based Powerectomy today! Only $39.99!

Ahh, true love...

Edit, courtesy Lankin: Someone (probably Rusty) made a card that made these two into lovers, and thus one conglomerate player.

Best card?

This was voted best card by most people, purely due to Stu's incompetence at writing. As far as we can make out, this one says "Target play in made of cheese." Truly, a baffling scenario...

The evil Apple of DOOM!

Was fruit deadly? Was there a reason for this? To be honest, this game was played about a month ago, so I can't really remember, but there must be a reason for this picture, right? RIGHT? Edit, courtesy Lankin: This was because I had made a card that touching fruit lost you 87 points, in order for me to win on the next turn. Haberley then went around chasing everyone with fruit in spoons.

The final Goal!

'Hit -50 points to win.'. It's dull, yes, but it finally got a three-hour game finished! Lankin won by losing vast amounts of points on a technicality, but who cares? As with most good things, the journey to the end really was the worthier part, and we're gonna have to play this game again some day! Edit, courtesy Lankin: I think I deserve some credit for working out how to lose 261 points efficiently in one turn, and bringing out expressly-created cards to do so, without anyone noticing. Besides, thanks to everybody but Stu being by this time a shady government agent and thus eligible to win on the next turn, this made it far more winny.

Post-Battle shot

With Lankin doing an impromptu Escape to the Caemra completion.

Lankin's scoresheet

These sheets may or may not have vital clues to deciphering the Secret Rules on them.

Haberley's Scoresheet

Rusty's scoresheet

Ham's scoresheet

Matatat's scoresheet

Stu's scoresheet

As should be evident from the top of the page, really...