Furtive Interiors by Jackie H
October 17th, 2006 1:48 AM / Location: 37.871042,-122.2493Materials: different kinds of fake fur (thank god for last-minute Halloween fabric sales), a mirror, tassel-y trim, gross scented candles, a bottle of extra dry Andre champagne, classy clear cups, an ugly bachelor-y poster, and a lighter. And more duct tape than I've used for my entire cumulative existence, though I guess that probably goes for the fake fur too.
Location: one port-o-potty among many, above Memorial Stadium on the Berkeley campus.
Adventure: Yes, it smelled in the port-o-potty, but not nearly as badly as you might think, as I don't think these are used terribly frequently. The candles helped somewhat. This task took a long time to complete, since I had to get the fabric + other materials, cut it all out to fit, and put it all together. I started with the mirror, since every bachelor knows that mirrors are absolutely necessary to maximize a pad's sleaziness...especially when they're surrounded by leopard print and tassels. I tried to install the mirror with a power drill, but the plastic proved tougher than I thought. So, I resorted to duct tape, which I've decided once more is completely indispensible in sf0 task-ing.
Once I taped up the mirror, I went back to my car to get the fabric...only to discover that the key-sized lump in my pocket was in fact my measuring tape, not my keys, and that my keys were in fact on the passenger seat. I took a detour to the International House, where the wonderful receptionist let me use her cell phone to call AAA. During this 45-minute intermission I learned a few valuable things: a) AAA is awesome; b) college is completely unlike the real world; and c) the best way to break into a car really is with a coat-hanger. I learned b) because, while I was waiting for the AAA dude, I was seranaded by one of those a cappella groups with a number of renditions of "My Girl," at 10:00 p.m. on a Monday. A) and c) should be fairly self-evident.
Anyway, back in my trunk, I got the fabric, put it all up, and accessorized the place a bit with the gold trim, champagne, candles, and poster.
Let the record show that I was listening solely to Too $hort's "Get in Where You Fit In" while completing this task.
Somebody, PLEASE GO LOOK AT THIS. It's really amazing. And, if you're the first one there, you can seduce someone with the champagne!
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I wonder how long it will stay up...seducing someone in a porto-potty has always been trouble for me in the past, but you've made it oh-so-easy. I'm inclined to think it's unlikely it would be there by the time I made it to Berkeley, but college IS completely unlike the real world.
Awesome.
I actually think this will stay up at least until the next football game (Saturday?)--it's seriously in a row of like 20 port-o-pottys, and there's no real reason for anyone to use them except in case of football. There's a rugby field and swimming pool nearby, but I'm pretty certain they have real toilets there. People don't just pass through this part of campus, either, it's fairly out-of-the-way. My real worry is that the duct tape will fail, the mirror will fall, etc. I just hope someone gets to the $3 Andre.
P.S. There's a terrible pun to be made with this task. Who wants to do the honors?
At last my dreams of port-o-potty seduction can come true.
This is simply awesome!
triple a is awesome
last friday they gave my scootcar a jump at 3 am
24 hour service for the late night zeroer
wow!!! i think i need to swing by on my way to poker night.
For a moment there, I had to make sure this wasn't the same one that was out at Burning Man this past summer. Good job!
It's time for a potty pawty!
Seriously, good job.
I had no idea there was a similarly decorated port-o-potty at Burning Man. This was totally original, I swear! But--now I have one more reason to make it out there one of these years.
I thought for a second this was the same Burning Man porta-potty, but I think I'll have to say this one one-ups it. the wall covering is great!
Here's a pic of the most pimped out potty on the playa:
I was at Burning Man and didn't see that potty, but yours clearly kicks it's ass! Well done!!!
I went by today and it looks like there is some need for repairs. Looks like some more late-night duct-taping is in my future. By the way, the pun I was thinking of is FUR-tive...Not "potty pawty," though they're both ridiculous in their own ways.
Late last night, Piratey Monkey, Ed (non-player for now) and I sought out the potty. There was a telltale sign leading us to the target toilet. We also discovered that the interior required some fixing. We did our best using the existing duct tape and some scavenged sticks and a piece of wire. It was a tough job, but we were up to the challenge. As a reward, we partied in the potty and drank the Andre. Pictures forthcoming, of course.
I'm so glad such deserving players got to the Andre. I also sort of feel like, if it's a little trashed, it's only that much more bachelor-y...right?
It's kind of crazy to think people used it, caused some mayhem, and didn't drink the champagne! I wish I was out there, I have to pee right now.
i kinda doubt that someone actually "used" the potty before conor and piratey got there. i think it's just that the whole thing is held together by duct tape, it's been pretty hot here lately (and even hotter in the potty), and fur and tape don't actually work that well together. the black furry stuff is actually really tough to tape.
for my next task, i will use no tape!
Oh, it was hot in that potty alright.
For the reattaching I suggest using stiff wire -- our best success was with the wire we picked up off the street. You can either pierce the fabric and hang it from the top of the walls or you can just fold the fabric into the wire and then hang.
yeah conor, you're probably right...unfortunately i didn't really do much reconaissance before doing my decorating and didn't realize there are those little air holes in the top. i noticed your sticks though, so thanks for that. i went back today (before reading your comment) and just taped it up again. but if i decide to keep attempting repairs i'll definitely get some wire next time, that's a really good idea. btw, i've decided that it actually has been vandalized, since when i went back today EVERYTHING was taken down, even the stuff that's still really sticky (not debilitated by its own furriness), and most tellingly, someone had scrawled "PUTOS" on the wall. so, i put everything back up, and changed the sign to say "ART--NOT GLORY HOLE--UNLESS YOU WANT IT TO BE," assuming whoever wrote "PUTOS" is a homophobic idiot. i may or may not go back again. i stashed the duct tape in the ivy next to the potty in case anyone else is in a repairing mood.
I must commend you once more for your effort, Jackie. A job very well done. Of course it was a bit too well done when considering the impact the champagne had on my headache the next morning. In the case that I'm being unclear, I attempt to deliver a compliment, not a complaint.
I'd like to get back there with some hardware to see what I can do to make it last. It would be so good if the interior remained until football season. Although, perhaps there are potty inspections before then. But think, just think of the wonderful surprise people would get on the first day!
I soooooooo wish I could see the look on the face of the first unsuspecting person to see this!