LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN, SHALL WE?

Basically, my original Misdirected Fan Mail, seen below was returned to me because the address I sent it to, apparently, does not exist. Today, I mended this wrong by finding another equally worthy Emma Thompson [of Oakland] on the Interwebz, removing the fan letter from its original envelope, and putting it in a new one which I decorated and stamped and sealed similarly to the original. I then walked to the mailbox and dropped it off, still wearing my Finger Painting praxis. The proof lies below. Enjoy! TAD









Hooray, my text box works again! And now...

PHASE 1: THE SEARCH

Seems Bay Areans with celebrity names have gotten wise, because none of them have their info in the white pages. Paul Giamatti? No. Benjamin Barker (for all us musical theatre geeks out there)? No. Elizabeth Taylor? Of course not. Ernestine and Eunice Taylor, sure, but no Elizabeth. I couldn't even find a Jackie Chan who gave anything more than a phone number. Finally, a hit: Emma Thompson of the Great Highway. What better than to send fan mail to a phenomenal actress I actually admire? (Sorry Jackie.)

I also tried to take a picture of the name, but my tickity-tack camera can't photograph text to save its battery life, so you're just gonna have to trust me on this one.



PHASE 2: THE (RE)SEARCH

Ok, so I really do love Emma Thompson, but I'm also one of those people who always feel they've forgotten something; nor have I seen enough movies in my young lifetime to justify any confusion in the writing of this letter. Wikipedia to the rescue!

PHASE 3: WRITING THE LETTER

At this point, I realized I had a problem. I didn't know how to write fan mail. Being a terribly practical person, I have never been particularly beholden to anybody, and, since I will one day be going into the industry, I've always thought that, if I work hard enough and play my cards right, I'll be able to meet people like Emma someday, and maybe even work with them. And how can a proper, gushing fan letter be written with a mindset like that?

After writing down my favorite Emma Thompson movies and skimming some praxes, I sat down and wrote the best letter I could. It reads:

Dear Emma,

Hello there. I just wanted to write to let you know what a phenomenal actress I think you are. From "Love Actually" to "Harry Potter", you bring sincerity and depth to every movie you have ever been in, even "Treasure Planet". Your portrayal of Karen Eiffel in "Stranger Than Fiction" was especially wonderful, as that kind of witty, intricate author is exactly what I want to be when I'm older. Watching you struggle with just how to structure Harold Crick's death and hearing you guide him through the guitar store filled me with joy, because that's exactly what being a writer is like! My dad and I are going to watch "Angels In America" together soon, and I can't wait until "Brideshead Revisited" comes out. I'm sure you will be fabulous in both. Please keep creating beautiful work and giving Maggie Smith a run for her money.

All the best,
Tarah Ledylorte

P.S: You should have won the Best Actress Oscar for "Sense and Sensibility".
P.P.S: I'm going to write screenplays, too.

The letter was written in pencil (of course), in my neatest handwriting, and in the voice of my younger self. I signed the letter with an anagram of my real name, because I have always wanted to do that. I did not include a picture to have autographed; to my mindset, that is simply too much.



PHASE 4: SENDING THE LETTER

I folded up the letter, enveloped, stamped, and sealed it. I decorated the envelope with green and orange stripes.





Then I walked down to the nearest mailbox, and, after sending out a wish that Emma likes her letter, let it fall.



On the walk home, I hoped that Emma still lived on the Great Highway. I hoped that she had a sense of humor. But most of all, I hoped that, if she's never seen an Emma Thompson movie before reading her letter, she goes out and gets one, because she has no idea what she's missing.


UPDATE: Due to discrepancies in the phone book/post system, my fan mail was RETURNED TO ME. ;-;
I plan to resend the letter to a more reliable address found on these here interwebz. More updates to come.

Other Photos: