For this task, I corresponded with a notorious spammer, probably one of America's largest producers of spam. The transcript is below.

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Correspondence #1 - The following was filled into Hormel's contact form by Mrs. Samantha P. Amherst:

Hello,

My husband works as a legal assistant to an attorney here in Washington State and has been involved in recent litigation about illegal spam. He says that there are proposals for spam to be outlawed, even at the federal level. But he won't discuss the details with me, since his job requires him not to divulge information from of his cases.

However, as a mother, I also have to worry about the health of my children. For years our family has regularly enjoyed Hormel's spam products, especially the more healthy low-sodium option, with our weekend family brunch. But now I am worried. Is spam truly safe for children? If so, why are there lawsuits and proposed legislation to outlaw it?

Thank you,
Samantha A.
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Correspondence #2 - via email:

Thank you for writing to Hormel Foods Consumer Response. Your message has been
received. Our team is available to answer messages during the following hours; excluding
holidays:

Our team is available to answer messages Monday through Friday, 8 a.m. to 4 p.m.
Central Standard time. You will receive a personal response from one of our representatives soon. Messages are answered in the order in which they are received. Thanks again for writing.

Hormel Foods Consumer Response
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Correspondence #3 - arrived via email within 2 hours of Mrs. S.P.Amherst's message:

From ******@hormel.com
Ms Amherst,

Thank you for contacting us.

I assume that your husband would be involved in 'spamming' that has to do with
junk email that people receive through their computer; that would not pertain to
our SPAM Lunch Meat.

Sharla
Consumer Response Specialist
Ref # 1521721
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Correspondence #4 - outgoing email to Hormel shortly after:

Thank you for your personal response. Your assurances have assuaged my worries about feeding my children spam. I am glad to hear that spam is still safe to eat, and to know that it is not safe to send through the emailer in my husband's computer. I don't know much about computers except to use the emailer, and wouldn't even know how to scan in spam to send it to my friends.

One last question. Given that it is unsafe or illegal to send spam through a computer emailer, is it safe to send spam by traditional mail? How much postage is required?

Thank you,
Samantha P. Amhurst
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As of their customer service closing time this week (4pm central time Friday), there has been no further response. It is believed that this subtle and tricky spammer is consulting with spam scientists before responding to the postage question. Any further responses received will be added to the proof.