So. It has been given to me to account the happenings of today and the past week. Fine. But I'll tell it the way I want to tell it; to portray it as a bothersome ordeal. Alright, perhaps that is a harsh way of putting it. But when you come face to face with a jellyfish the size of your head, you are allowed to be somewhat touchy. Really, such horrible things that are only imaginable by the most wicked demon in hell actually exist. No lie. Bigger than my head.

If asked whether this would be a success or a failure I wouldn't be able to say. I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me start from the beginning.

My step-grandfather 'stepped' in again to help me with this task. In the end, we pretty much used the same materials from the tower. In fact we glued the three tripod pieces together to create one. This and two other thick pipes were used, along with duct tape (and later on other things) to create the vessel. After that, a chair was sawed down to be placed on the vessel. It was decided that it would all be duct taped together at the dock when we finally got there.

Days later we showed up at a friends waterside place. We unload the three pipes and the chair; in addition, we also brought along the Vena Nightmare Flag and a couple of boogie boards just in case. Straps were used to hoist and lower the put together thing into the water. I gingerly lowered myself onto the thing. There was a slight moment of flailing about and then the whole thing tipped over. So we pulled me and it out, to rethink our design. This is were to boogie boards came into play.

I'd like it to go in the record that I said that the boogie boards should go on top. With that aside, the decision was made to duct the the boogie boards to the bottom. Again the thing was lowered into the water, and this time it looked as if it might work. Not so. I found myself in the water once more. Due to my now extreme paranoia of jellyfish, I wasn't going to wait for someone to haul me out of the drink. I quickly scrambled onto the upended vessel. There were shouts of exclaim; it seemed to work more upside down than it ever did right side up. It has been discussed that this is probably because the chair, underwater the whole time, acted as a center board.

I took up the kayak paddle floating in the water next to me and set out, after a small confusion of how I should sit. I set out, against the wind, into adventure. I went at a snail's pace, I think.

The way back, however, was much more timely. The committee boat, populated of the friends who let us use the dock (A retired Navy Admiral and a retired Navy Commander) and my step-grandfather, says that I was going at least five times my previous speed on the way back. Feeling the wind at my back, I ripped off the boogie board at my feet. This boogie board had absolutely plagued me, because it was not fully attached and floated to get in my way. I ripped this free of the few pieces of duct tape still holding on and held it above my head. It can be said that, with this makeshift sail, I cut my time in half.

I couldn't be a mast and steer at the same time, so I put the boogie board at my back to catch the wind while I myself paddled. This was an efficient arrangement to be sure. My mother, who could have lapped me in the canoe she was in, reached the dock far before I. As I arrived back she wanted to take a picture of me with the flag that didn't go on the trip. I thought that was fine, the condition being that she get it OVER WITH. A little while later I finally was able to drag myself out of the jellyfish infested water.

Thus ended the maiden voyage of (Deathtrap/ Piece of Crap/ Plastiki). The only voyage it would ever had, as we disassembled it afterwords. It was at this time that we all took a pleasant boat trip on the committee boat, with a box of donut holes for company. I can give you my word that this second boat trip was much more fun than the first, at least for me. It did, after all, have what boats were meant to have: (sail/ motor).

Note:
I can assure you it was a mile. If anyone wishes to dispute this...