To properly accomplish this task, I felt it important to find a food that was frightening to me, and not simply disgusting. Should I wander the ethnic section of some forgotten supermarket and find a faded tin can with indecipherable writing? Should I fry up some insect, bug, spider, and let it slide down my gullet? Again, all these were are just plain gross.. I needed something truly terrifying!

Since my friends know me very well, I turned to them for inspiration and asked, "What do you think I should eat that is truly scary?"

Ever dependable, they answered, "Boobs!"

*Play flashback music*

---

Once upon a time, there was a party held by the illustrious Amby Dexterous. It was a gallant affair, filled with fresh faces flushed with the first blush of summer. Her friends, from many eclectic social circles, came together to celebrate on her building's lakefront patio for BBQ and beer. Eventually darkness forced us to move the party inside, so 20 lesbians, 5 gay guys, and 1 keg all moved into her tiny 1 bedroom condo. The gay boys claimed the couch as our domain and everyone else arrayed themselves around the cramped quarters.



For some reason, the party goers that night were vivacious and exuberant in a way that only junior high kids can emulate. So, we all decided to play Truth or Dare. At first, things started out tame. There was some back and forth between all the women at the party, some keg stands, and additional silliness. Eventually things begin to heat up though, and one of the women (we shall call her Cindy) was dared to "Unleash the Dragons!"

At this single moment, time slowed to a crawl. Though the room is filled with women, everyone turned to the couch full of gay men as Cindy reached behind her back to undo her bra. Like the citizens of Argos in "Clash of the Titans" when Hades commanded the Kraken to be released, I am instantly filled with some unnameable dread. What is going on? They can't possibly choose me for this dare! I have never wanted to play with boobs. I like boys, and boy parts. Boobs are bad, Mmmkay? It isn't even my dare! In a rare moment of clairvoyance, I realized that I would be chosen as the recipient of The Dragons, and there was nothing I could do about it. My voice gained a mind of it's own, and a single word escaped my mouth in a wail, "Noooooo!!!!"

This proved to be my undoing. Three of the boys on the couch were laughing, one was sitting in stony silence praying his face was unemotional, and one was quivering in fear. That boy was me. With my weakness plain for all to see, the women who were scanning the couch had found their prey. Like a lioness leaping on the weakest member of a herd, Cindy approached. I was paralyzed with fear, my body refused to respond to even simple commands. Cindy's shirt was off, her bra was next, and in a flash I had boobs smacking my face.

Whack, whack, whack, whack! The sound of flesh smacking flesh merged with the uncontrollable laughter of the room. Cindy withdrew from her attack, and I felt the clammy titty sweat clinging to my face. To this day, my friends know that just the mere threat of boobs will send me running.

*Play flash forward music*

---

Back to current day.

My friends had a point. Boobs do scare me, but how do you eat one? Well, let us examine the qualities of boobs.
1). They are roundish.. or ovalish.. or boob-shaped I guess. Hmm..
2). They need to jiggle, or wiggle, or do that thing they do where they bounce around.
3). They need to look like boobs, with flesh and nipples.

Oh, I've got it! Easter Eggs provide the shape. Jell-o jiggles. I can use peach Jell-o for the flesh, raspberry for the nipple, and a cherry for that added little something!



The easter eggs came from Dela Dejavoo in her task "The Treasure Hunters". With all my hardware ready to go, I set to work making Jello-shots. Here are the results in all their glory.



Look, they are glowing with some unearthly light!



Close up


At this point, I know what you are all thinking. "How lame! I could do a Jell-o shot. That's not scary. That's not Death Kava!" Well, you are right. It wasn't, and Amby Dexterous had the same thought.

"SF0 is all about pushing yourself.", she said. "You need to overcome your fear. I think you should do a body shot with this Jell-o".

Well Frak me. Not only do I realize she is completely right, but suddenly I'm right back on that couch paralyzed with fear. Can I do this? Can I put my face between two boobs? again?? *sigh* Alright, let's do it!

Here is the anonymous body shot volunteer with the shot comfortably nestled in her bosom.


Down the hatch!


After shot, shot.


Everyone else decided to enjoy the shots as well. They were very tasty, as long as you didn't have to put your face between boobs to get at them.



Thank you to Happy McDeath (for the fantastic idea), along with Miniature Monk, Ambi Dexterous, and Dela Dejavoo for helping me with this task. As you can see, we were all in costume for another task (to be posted shortly).