Today, I have had my heart broken. I have shared an unconventional but sincere token of my love, and it has been rejected. Let me tell you the story...

So, I know we all love ducks--at least, those of us with souls--but I'm the duckmonster. I love ducks so much! They walk funny and they always look happy and they make cute noises. And their babies! How fuzzy! How could anyone not think these are wonderful animals? They are the penguins of the ... uh, rest of the world!

And so, in their honor, I set out to do this task. I bought a $.99 loaf of bread and used my heart cookie cutters to make "valentines" that I was sure the ducks would enjoy. And then Mudlock and I set out to a nearby duck pond. (Which is more of a storm drain, but ducks, geese, and herons hang out there.)

When we got there, we were sad to see a lack of ducks. I was afraid I would not have the opportunity to show my affection to these wonderful creatures. ... But, as we walked down the path and around the pond, we were pleased to find ducks sitting in the water at the far end.

I walked out, onto an outcrop of the land, and began to fling my tokens of affection toward my aquatic friends. And, for a time, they seemed somewhat interested, perhaps, in what I was doing. But they never approached. They never even poked at the lovely bread hearts I'd made for them, let alone eat one.

I threw all of the hearts I had made, from the entire loaf of bread, and not a single duck ate one.

I have been soundly rejected. The ducks do not return my affection and did not appreciate my gift. This makes me very sad.