"Fingerpainting!" I thought. "That sounds fun. I like fingers, I like painting, and I like makin' a big old mess."

But alas, though I had markers, crayons and pencils aplenty, I had no paint whatsoever! (And I was far too lazy and it was far too late at night to go out looking for some.)

Instead of giving up on the task, I decided to just use the most goopy, paintlike materials readily available to me: toothpaste and mustard.

And instead of painting just one finger, I got a little carried away and painted my entire left hand.


The toothpaste forms the base of my stylish condiment glove. Smooth yellow ("regular") mustard and seedy brown ("weird") mustard were used to paint the accents and details.

(After I washed the toothpaste off, my hand felt soft and tingly, and smelled strongly of artificial mint flavoring. Mmmm, don't you love that just-brushed hand sensation?)