I found a Mr. Robert Barker living in the city next to mine(which is NOT the city in which the real bob barker lives [and far from it]), and decided that he would be a good target for this misguided fan mail. My letter was written in cursive on some cutsie stationary. This is what the letter said:

Dear Mr. Barker,
I would first like to congradulate you on your nineteen emmy's. You have been my favorite star on T.V. since i was a very small child, I have wantched your show religiously. But have only now worked up th courage to write to you. In 1979 when you became a vegitarian I followed your decision for the furtherment of animal rights. I am now a successful vegan. You could say I like to take things to the extreme hence the vegan, and hence the fact that I have studyed your life vigoursly. It would make my day if you could say hello to Vanna for me, (I couldn't find her in the phone book).
Sincerely,
Kara Boyer
P.S. I had no idea you lived so close.

I will let you know if i get anything back from Mr. Barker or Miss. White.