King Minos The Eiffel Tower
Do I have your attention yet?
Yes SF0, I now have the distinct pleasure of being a lottery winner.
With my winnings I funded a trip to Europe for myself and a few of the Skul's. We caught planes (first class, all the way) to France, Germany and Switzerland and spread throughout the lands, spawning havoc and leaving police, both international and local, baffled at our masterful handiwork.
The objective was the theft of all things European and, in that aspect, we succeeded fully. Ever prize we set our eyes on soon belonged to us and (with the exception of Skulsockery Sockant's) all of our lifter objects are of great rarity and value.
Being the King and leader of our intrepid band of thieves, I decided to take the most iconic of European landmarks, the one that is the most immediately recognizable and the most difficult to move; The Eiffel Tower. It was originally built in 1889 for the world fair but has stood the test of time and served it's mother country well, until now.
The tower was startlingly easy to steal. I merely shrunk it with a technique borrowed from none other than Monsieur Villain and pocketed it before riding to freedom on a confused wave of tourists.
The rest of the trip (and the subsequent thefts) went beautifully. The Skuls performed well in their first field test and were, for the most part, successful. They did so well, in fact, that I even let them write up their own parts of the praxis.
Skulduckery Pheasant The Mona Lisa
After I bribed the local avian flock with bread crumbs it was easy for me to squawk them into creating a perfect, scale copy of The Mona Lisa, as is seen above. Tasteful, yet dreadfully smelly, I assure you. I swooped in and, masked by the crowd of wingless apes, swapped the paintings. I then handed the original off to Snobbery in order to perch on a nearby ledge and insult pedestrians. They only responded with annoyed looks and quizzical human jabber. It is good to see that some things don't change overseas.
Skulatery Truant Mt. Pilatus
So, Minos convinced me to go steal some mountain cap in England or something. Usually, I don't do this kid of thing for free but, since he's my bro, I decided it was worth doing. Besides, messing with nerds is what I do best, and that's all tourists are, right?
When I got to the mountain all I could think about was, like, how wicked high up we were. A bunch of losers decided to walk up this path but I was like "Screw that" and took a cable car.
Taking the cap was pretty easy. I just rolled up into the mountain lodge and asked the wimpy owner for the peak of the mountain. He started gibbering at me in that weird dutch talk and eventually handed the cap over. I fist bumped the nearest thing and ran off as the stupid english guys watched, no doubt in awe of my sweet running skills. They didn't even try to stop me. What can I say, some people are just born winners.
Skulsnobbery Flippant Silver Spoons
While touring my Swiss vault located deep below the Alps I received a call from my old rowing partner, Minos. He was, for whatever reason, interested in moving a bit of Swiss silver across the border and wanted to know if I could lend him a hand. I told him I could do one better and had Bucherer and Casagrande melt down a few Rolex's in order to collect their silver and forged them into a form that would slip across the border quite nicely; spoons. Having done that I hired a team of gilded, Bugatti driving Sherpas and sent them off to deliver the silver.
Then, I went for a nice money bath.
Skulsockery Sockant 5 Euro
It's... all I could get.
There was this sweet riot, though!
Skulcoolery Chillant German Chocolate
Life's not easy as an icecube. I can never go for a hot bath, tan, hit the beaches, or enjoy a warm meal like all o you privileged players. I couldn't even go with the rest of the Skul's on their vacation. Luckily, my grandpa Vinn works as a cooler in a German candy shop and he shipped a massive bar of chocolate into the states for me. Thanks Gramps!
Russian War Medal