Niallsb sez:
This is my first collaboration task so I'm pretty phsyched. I apologise if I go prolix on you.
My original Idea was to have a game of chocolate checkers but somebody had already taken that idea.
I changed boardgames to battleships, which could be played convieniently at long distance.
Lowteck had already put his name down on the interest in collaborating list so I sent him a message challenging him to a game of lolly battleships. That being said, I have absolutely no idea what he used. I suppose I'll find out when he submits his part of the praxis.
A couple of days before the game, I set up my playing area. In order to create a grid I had to chop over 20 Big Bosses into quarters lengthways (I would have used liqcorish but I hate the stuff):



I had to keep dipping the knife in warm water because the Big Bosses were getting stuck to it. During the cutting process I cut myself badly when the knife slipped. In one way it was bad because I hurt myself, but on the plus side I could now complete Time (and medical attention) Heals All Wounds. I'll post that praxis later.

I had set up everything beforehand. A few days later my Zombie Chew and my Sherbert Lemons had started to melt:



I had to go back to the Chocolate Shop to buy more supplies.
We decided to base our game on the Wikipedia article, naming our ships after the ships mentioned there.
Here's what I used for each ship:
Patrol Boat-2 squares-Butterscotch Fudge
Submarine-3 squares-Clinkers (or clankers, I'm not sure)
Cruiser-3 squares-Banana Lollies
Battleship-4 squares-Sherbert Lemons
Aircraft Carrier-5 squares-Lots of Lolly Snakes twisted together to make a rope.

I set up two grids using the Big Bosses, on greaseproof paper. I wrote co-ordinates on the paper to make it easy to navigate. One was to place my boats on. The other was to mark my guesses on. I used small, cheap, white mints to mark the misses for both side and Lolly Raspberries to mark the hits. Here's the setup of my ships:


Lowtech took the first turn, and the game had begun.

Here's a transcript of the messages we sent backwards and forth. This took a long time to transcribe so you'd better appreciate it. Or you can just scroll down to the bottom to find out who won. Either way:

Niallsb- Okay, I'm ready, sorry about the wait, had to go buy more greaseproof paper. Am ready now. Your move.
Lowteck- B1
N- Miss; J6
L- miss. my markings look like weird animal turds.; c2
N- Miss, my miss markers are small mints; I7
L- miss; e4
N- HIT; H8
L- miss e3
N- hit, again; G9
L- HIT; E2
N- Hit, curse your luck; H9
L- miss; E1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
N- Hit. You sunk my Sherbert Lemon Battleship; G10
L- miss; f5
N- miss (finally); G8
L- HIT!!G6
N- miss; G7
L- HIT. My cruiser is on fire. it will soon sink; A4
N- I hope that mean I've hit all of it.
miss; E9
L- miss; H7
N- miss; D8
L- miss I8
N- hit; C7
L- miss I9
N- miss; B6
L- miss; H8
N- hit; A5
L- miss; G8
N- hit (groan); B4
L- miss; F8
N- *wince* hit; C3
L- miss; E8?
N- Hit. You sunk my Multi-Snake Aircraft Carrier
I'm really not going well here; D2
L- miss; B5. i've sunk your two easiest ships, you're not in as bad shape as it seems
N- but...how?
Hit; E1
L- hit; B6. i'm now realizing that my ships look like turds too. jeez
N- miss; F1
L- hit; C5
N- hit; G1
L- hit; a5
N- miss; H1
L- hit; D5!! one more down
N- obviously, HIT. You sunk my Clinker Submarine; I1
L- hit. you sunk my carrier!! J5
N- Woohoo!
miss; G3
L- wow .t hat last attck set m ykeyb orda on fire
g3 is m iss
I Four GIVE e FIVE INutES tO FIND NEW keynoaRD
N- Okay, take your time. I4 was a miss
My next guess is H4. Take your time
L- miss; hhhhhh 333
N- miss; I5
L- miss; G2
N- miss; A9
L- hit; I2. keynoaRD FUkkeD
N- miss; A8
L- hit; H1
N- Miss; A7
L- hit; B3
keynoaRD FUkkeD
N- So A7 was actually a hit?
L- A7; hit
N- Then you guessed B3 which was a miss and then I guessed A10
(for anybody wondering what was going on, we had a couple of double replies and mixed messages. What you see here is what correctly happened)
L- hit. you sunk myBattleship; A7
N- miss; B2
L- miss; B8
okay, sorry about that. the one bombing at I1 completely destroyed my keyboard which starting spewing random characters. then i had to copy and paste everything by mouse which was made more difficult by my keyboard. i'm using a laptop now, so it should be smooth sailing here on out.
N- Great to hear. In other news...
hit; D4
L- miss; b9
N- hit; E5
L- miss; b10
N- miss; A3. Heard of the Band Architecture in Helsinki?
L- hit; b7 for the sink!
N- Hit. You have sunk my Banana Lolly Cruiser
Only one of my ships left. A2
L- hit; A2. never heard of them. checking them out now
N- miss; A1. Their song I'm listening to their song Underwater, because that's how I feel at the moment.
L- miss; G4
N- miss; A4
L- hit. you sunk my sub. it just went up in a blaze of glory to architecture in helsinki.
this will get interesting now. we both have to battle our patrol ships; D10
N- miss; J10
L- miss; J1
N- miss; D10
L- miss; J3. i kinda like this architecture band.
N- miss; D6
L- miss; H5
N- miss; J4
L- miss; I6
N- The end is nigh. Hit; F4
L- miss; I5
N- miss; J8
L- miss; H6
N- miss; C5
L- miss, J6
N- Hit. You have sunk my Butterscotch Fudge Patrol Boat.
Congratulations, good sir, on being such a splendid adversary and beating me in this contest of stratergy. Might I enquire as to the whereabouts of your Patrol Boat?
L- good game sir!!
it was at c8-c9, i'll upload my battle plans in the next couple of days.
that was tough, you had managed disable my communication systems. which set off my smoke alarms. my mouse has horrendous 3rd degree burns, though it does work perfectly. while my keyboards wounds seem superficial, it has become a vegetable and will never lead a normal life again. i think i got a photo of that fiasco, although i was more concerned about my desk being on fire.
now to eat my rum soaked cookies.
how did you find sf0?
N- Well, if I go back as far as I can...
My good friend, Steph, told me about a website called i-am-bored.com. One of their links was to a non-commercial (there is such thing) gaming website called jayisgames.com . 6 months later and I was browsing through a jayisgames archive and I came across Jane Mcgonigal's Avant Game Blog. I also checked out her website ( avantegame.com ) and fell in love (with the site) it happened that she recently updated her blog with a story of Sf0. Then I came here and really fell in love.


I thought he was joking when I got the message about the fire, but I think he may have been serious. While whatever happened, I played a game of No Right-Click Minesweeper:


Well, it was a close match. The whole game actually lasted for four hours, but it passed really quickly for me. Now without reading his praxis, I'm wondering how his keyboard had caught on fire. Hmmm... Maybe it had something to do with his "rum soaked cookies". You know what. I bet he actually lit his ships alight. I'll find out soon enough.


Okay, so technically he won, but I still consider myself a winner. I have lollies! What a great task. Here's what my boards looked like at the end of the game:





I will now hand this praxis into the very capable hands of Lowteck (who currently goes by the alias Tristan Tzara's Hair). Let's hear what I missed.

Lowteck sez:


Although slightly disastrous on my end, that was a lot of fun. This was one of the many fun tasks I came up with during jury duty and I got to play battleship with niallsb who is on a streak of tasking awesomeness.

I decided to make a chocolate chip cookie battleship set. On the left is one of the boat molds i made out of tin foil.




I realized a little too late that my cookie boats bore a disturbing resemblance to turds.







My first disaster was breaking one of the game boards an hour before the battle.
Battle Stations ready:




The first hit against my fleet:




My first casualty:




A long string of misses before a deadly attack on my carrier.




The last hit against the carrier caused another boat to capsize, which in turn destroyed the communication equipment at my command base. My keyboard passed away about thirty minutes later. My mouse survived despite massive third degree burns. oops.




The end: