Hedges are my personal nemesis. Having failed to get hedges to do my bidding once again, I turned to a plant form that seemed like it would be more amenable to manipulation---the classic chia pet. Did you know that chia is the kind of plant that you seed onto a chia pet? I didn't either, I thought it was a brand name.

Turns out there is a reason that they don't make alfalfa pets.

Backing up for a moment. I figured that florist foam would be a great substrate for making a pseudo topiary. It's easy to carve, holds a lot of water, and is slightly squishy so you can press seeds into it. And alfalfa sprouts are the canonical type of sprouts for eating. But alas, mold was the only thing really growing.

Going with the flow, the next logical step was moss. Now I have a pet portable turtle topiary! I have kept this mossy turtle for over a month already. My favorite story about a turtle is in Dr. Dolittle and the Secret Lake. (By the way, the MIT libraries have a copy of this book in their special archives.) Mudface is a giant turtle who tells stories about his youth in the days before Noah and the flood. Well, I don't expect Mossy Myrtle to make it to that ripe of an old age, but I'll keep her watered and see how it goes.