First off let me say NEVER never NEVER do what I am about to describe.

Secondly, this task contains elements of Trespassing, The High-Speed Transit Picnic, and even The Pilgrim's Progress. But it is not filed under any of those. This is a task I knew I had to do in this way as soon as I saw a task that involved exploring an underworld.

It started with the interminable waiting for a train at the Church station of the Muni rail system. I thought, more than once, that it takes so long for one to come sometimes- that it just might be quicker to walk right into the tunnel and go it on foot.

It's been months since I used the Muni. I decided I would ride the 22 to Church station and then walk from Church to West Portal station, catching the L home from there.

I started out at 11:30. At first it was easy. I would cling to the wall, facing it dressed all in black, my heart beating as fast as it ever had. Scared of the pull which grew stronger as I approached the center of the first tunnel. Scared of being discovered. The passing air cut me through the middle. The rush was quicker than and beat the hell out of any roller coaster I've been on yet.

At Castro station there was a station agent talking on the phone while overlooking the tracks. He called down to me to tell me I shouldn't be there. I hadn't entered anywhere illegal in his sight, I was merely in an area that the train does not come- which looks suspicious. Plainly I wasn't going any further that way.

So I caught a train from Castro to Forrest Hill. I might have been staring, I think I was in shock. The stranger I might have been staring at called out to me: "Call me Six Flags Charlie."

"I'm not sure how often it will come up, but it's a deal."

I moved across the aisle and sat down next to him. I told him what I was doing and a little bit about why. I showed him the soot on my hands. He said he was coming from the Panhandle, 'dealing with the normal bullshit of people asking for change for drugs.' He said he was so tired of it, just wanted to be successful. I said I was trying out a new definition of success. It was my stop. We shook hands and he told me his real name was 'Cool Cat'.

I continued on my journey. Forrest Hill station was empty, so I just walked right out onto the tracks. This was more what I had pictured. Alcoves in the wall at regular intervals to hide in, gripping the pipe that ran along the top of each one, being sure not to be sucked off beneath the wheels of an oncoming train. There was gravel, which I had not expected.

I walked. The rush of each train passing diminished, but still there was that cut through my stomach. I started to panic, realizing that the stations were about to close down for the night. I spent a tense few minutes waiting for three trains to pass. I realized that West Portal was an open station, with the ticket takers on the same level as the track. How was I going to avoid them? I tried not to kick any gravel, walked on the wood to keep from crunching the gravel. Too many times I missed and a stone echoed down the tunnel.

It was 1AM. As I got to the entrance I saw a vehicle... a Municipal Transit Authority vehicle. Was it there for me? I sat down when I got out. Trying to get my bearings, hoping it would all go away. Then the vehicle drove down the tracks. The man inside gestured that I should move out of the station. As I walked another man on a walkie talkie said something like "This might me the guy." As I left he said "Hold on there might be more."

I walked into the fog. And kept walking, getting away my only thought. Was I spared because there might be more on the rails? Because I looked under the influence (I always do despite the fact that I never am)?

I got home. Free for another day. Alive.

More melodramatic then ever.