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mock piratey turtle
Level 1: 20 points
Alltime Score: 8415 points
Last Logged In: July 25th, 2013
BADGE: Journey To The End Of The Night BADGE: The Sweet Cheat Gone TEAM: Team Shplank TEAM: LØVE TEAM: C.L.O.W.N.S. TEAM: Team MØXIE!
120 + 167 points

1000 Small (Heavy) Things by mock piratey turtle, Jeanette Kalchik

May 13th, 2006 9:21 PM

INSTRUCTIONS: Buy or acquire 1000 small, and if possible heavy things. Bolts or nuts (including the edible kind) would be good. Transport them to a public space (preferably carpeted) and drop them on the ground. You may drop them all in one place, or you may drop them slowly, perhaps forming a trail of some kind. If anyone harasses you, apologize profusely and then leave.

i have been waiting to do this task ever since i joined sf0. i do not think i can accurately convey how excited i am about this task... but let me try. i have a tendency to keep things. useless things. forever. i have had this jar of ball bearings for TEN YEARS. its been with me through 5 moves. and not in a box hidden away or anything. out on the table. in a jar. just in case. you never know when you are going to need 1000 ball bearings. of course, the use i always envisioned involved being chased across a linoleum floor by some intruder, and emptying my trusty jar of ball bearings behind me to make him fall down, a la looney tunes... but cest la vie. no one understood. i was mocked mercilessly. sadness. then..
THIS IS WHY I LOVE SF0!! as soon as i saw it.. "1000 small heavy things" i knew the jar's time had come. thank you SF0 for giving me reason to use these damn ball bearings. it really made me ridiculously happy. then again, i'm really easy to please.

so. what i did. i found a stairwell on campus that had really nice echoes. and poured them down. i wasn't pleased with the aesthetics so with the help of jeanette, picked each and every last one of those little bastards up, and did it again in a prettier stairwell. of course the video didn't come out for that one.. oh well. then i left my pretty metalic babies scattered all over the main floor of this building on campus.. for all the little freshmen to trip on, on their way to their finals...


i'll upload the audio as soon as i figure out how. ..

- smaller

jar o' 1000 small heavy things

jar o' 1000 small heavy things

jar of small heavy things


1000 small heavy things

1000 small heavy things

had to count em' to be sure...


floor o' 1000 small heavy things

floor o' 1000 small heavy things


handfull of small heavy things

handfull of small heavy things


raining bearings

raining bearings



11 vote(s)



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5 comment(s)

(no subject)
posted by lightgreenish on May 18th, 2006 10:30 PM

wow very cool.. would love to hear the audio on these lil suckers bouncing down the stairs!!! BTW...damn ..how did you get 63 bonus points for this task??

still working on audio..
posted by mock piratey turtle on May 24th, 2006 3:56 PM

it exists! i just don't have the right software yet.. soon. soon.

(no subject)
posted by Pieces on May 31st, 2006 3:30 PM

This one is just beautiful. The shot with your bracelet and the ball bearings is damn cool.

picking them all up again
posted by alice gray on September 15th, 2006 7:49 PM

large magnet.

(no subject)
posted by Kevlar Moonraven on September 8th, 2010 7:04 PM

It is like the creation of the world.