45 + 57 points
Find Roof Access by Road Scholar
October 11th, 2010 4:24 AM
Ah, welcome back. Do take a seat, won't you? No? Well, no matter. Today I have, for your edification, but the briefest of reports.
I have been musing upon the consternation and misunderstanding that sprung up regarding my first report. I realize I owe an apology. So vast is the gulf of experience between human and conic existence that only hubris can explain my approach to bridging such a chasm by my mere words. Scholarly journalism alone cannot join two worlds. But in reflecting, I realize that I can do no better. I cannot speak from a position unbiased by life as I have lived it, and will always fail in some way to see my life through the lens of another, whatever my professional aspirations. So I shall continue, and belie my own ignorance in so doing. Perhaps only by taking note of my blindspots will we ever see eye-to-eye.
Humans, it is well established, exhibit a vast range of physical attributes. As such, a spectrum of athletic ability can be seen among your population. The same is very much the case for modern cones. Humans, however, seem largely unfamiliar with their disproportionate frailty as among mammals.
Humans are much larger than your closest relatives, the chimpanzee, in stature, mass, and musculature. And yet, any full-grown chimpanzee could beat any fully grown human male to death, easily. The chimpanzee is, quite simply, built for such occurrences as a necessity of survival, whereas humans are not. My peoples are similarly disposed. The pressures of sexual selection in an increasingly communal setting have made birds-of-paradise out of us as well, and in much the same way our ornate plumage is an intellectual one.
However, it seems we are not as far out of the jungle as humans. For you see, an athlete of my species, larger of stature and of mass than our closest genetic relatives, is only disproportionately weak. At peak performance, we can only jump perhaps 25 times our conic-length, rather than 70.
This has been the Road Scholar, reminding you to watch your step, mind the gap, and when your find yourself on that grand road of life; take it slow.
I have been musing upon the consternation and misunderstanding that sprung up regarding my first report. I realize I owe an apology. So vast is the gulf of experience between human and conic existence that only hubris can explain my approach to bridging such a chasm by my mere words. Scholarly journalism alone cannot join two worlds. But in reflecting, I realize that I can do no better. I cannot speak from a position unbiased by life as I have lived it, and will always fail in some way to see my life through the lens of another, whatever my professional aspirations. So I shall continue, and belie my own ignorance in so doing. Perhaps only by taking note of my blindspots will we ever see eye-to-eye.
Humans, it is well established, exhibit a vast range of physical attributes. As such, a spectrum of athletic ability can be seen among your population. The same is very much the case for modern cones. Humans, however, seem largely unfamiliar with their disproportionate frailty as among mammals.
Humans are much larger than your closest relatives, the chimpanzee, in stature, mass, and musculature. And yet, any full-grown chimpanzee could beat any fully grown human male to death, easily. The chimpanzee is, quite simply, built for such occurrences as a necessity of survival, whereas humans are not. My peoples are similarly disposed. The pressures of sexual selection in an increasingly communal setting have made birds-of-paradise out of us as well, and in much the same way our ornate plumage is an intellectual one.
However, it seems we are not as far out of the jungle as humans. For you see, an athlete of my species, larger of stature and of mass than our closest genetic relatives, is only disproportionately weak. At peak performance, we can only jump perhaps 25 times our conic-length, rather than 70.
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This has been the Road Scholar, reminding you to watch your step, mind the gap, and when your find yourself on that grand road of life; take it slow.
12 vote(s)
5
gh◌st ᵰⱥ₥ing
5Markov Walker
5Sombrero Guy
5Ty Ødin
5susy derkins
5Optical Dave
5Pixie
3anna one
5artmouse
5Lincøln
4Jellybean of Thark
5N Mutans
That's some graceful jump, sir. And I truly loved the dynamometer paper.